To be struggling so much with morning sickness?

[Pinkjenny]

I am 8 weeks pg and my symptoms have started to peak. I can't keep anything down, and am barely eating or drinking anything. I was sick all day on Tuesday and Wednesday, and am avoiding eating or drinking at all now.

I have a 2yo dd, and work 4 days a week. My dh works long hours, and my mum helps me a lot, she looks after dd on a Thursday and Friday.

She is, generally, quite an unsympathetic person when it comes to illness of any description, however having been blessed with next to no real periods of illness in my life, it's not usually an issue. This morning, I have dragged myself to work, and been sick in the toilets twice. She started to text me, the messages went something like this:

Mum: I can't go out because I can't find a brush or coat for dd

Me: Is it not on the dining table? Her coats are in the cupboard.

Mum: Fine I've got the coat. I left her brush on the dining table yesterday, where is it?

Me: I'm not sure.

Mum: Do you even know where your hairbrush is even a comb will do.

Me: My comb is in my wardrobe.

Mum: No it's not forget it!

Me: FGS. I am crying at my desk and you are having a go at me about a brush.

Mum: well crying won't make you feel any better. 3 brushes I have bought this child and I can't even find a bloody comb.

Seriously, my house looks like a bomb has hit it. Before I left for my hour long commute this morning, I couldn't even manage to make the beds.

Why is she being so harsh? AIBU to expect a bit of sympathy?

I found the time that I had morning sickness to be the worst time of my entire life. I would rather go through childbirth an extra time in place of morning sickness.

And people are not sympathetic to it at all. I went into ketosis due to morning sickness but by the time they found out it was too late to do anything about it because I was coming out of the sickness bit anyway.

So I would say:

YANBU. Well done you for being at work and managing to carry on despite throwing up all the time.

1. Go to your midwife and get her to check that you are not dehydrated or malnourished as you cannot keep anything down. Some people get admitted to hospital due to morning sickness. You might need to go on a drip.

1. Ignore your mum. She hasn't been in your position so she doesn't know. I was very upset by remarks people made to me about morning sickness, but it is just because they do not understand how awful it can be.

1. Forget about the housework. You are ill. If you were that sick for any other reason, people would expect you to be in bed, not at work or cleaning up.

Thanks Milly. It's so true, if I had a tummy bug or something, there's no way I'd be dragging myself into work!

As for the brush, I can never find DD's brush and I am not ill at all. I have the intention of getting a key ring chain and threading it through the hole in the handle of the brush, and attaching it to the utensil rail in the kitchen. I can then brush DD's hair while the brush is still on the chain and never have to look for a brush again.

oh dear so sorry your mum is being unsympathetic. I had bad morning sickness with both mine
-All the advise I can give is just do the bare minimum to get by and ignore anyone who is unhelpful.
-Try to drink water even if you can't keep other stuff down.
-Go to your midwife/gp and make sure you are not dehydrated
-Try ginger tea it helped ease my sickness a little or even ginger biscuits they did nothing for me have been helpful to others.
-And REST

I hope you feel better soon

I am suffering terribly from bad morning sickness - go to your GP and get prescribed some anti-nausea medication. It does not have side effects affecting your LO but will help you keep liquids down. If you get dehydrtaed you could end up in hopsital having to be re-hydrated.

I also work 4 days a week adn DH works long hours and have an unsympathetic mum (apparently MS is a case of mind over matter - naturally she ahd no MS with either my brother or myself). Get a cleaner - even if only temporarily and for a few weeks at every other week.

Tell your mother to tie your dds hair up in a bun - no need for brush.

((HUG))

ps:apologies for atrocious spelling

Thank you - it seems our mothers are definitely alike!

Aww im sorry you are feeling so bad, I too am suffering with the dreaded all day sickness.
During my last pregnancy I suffered really bad with heartburn/indigestion. My mother refused to believe me because according to her "you dont get it with your first child" I ended up shouting at her one day "just because you never bloody got it until your second pregnancy doesnt mean everybody does!!!" She just gave me a look and made me a cup of tea to shut me up, I took it as her apology.

Oh i have stories to tell - when i phoned her up after first scan with DS1 excitedly singing "you're going to be a grandma" she sung back immedaitely "you're going to lose your figure"

Nice.

Ooh, I can go better on the toxic responses.

SIL: I told Aunt X that you were going to be a father.
DH: What did she say?
SIL: Nothing, she just laughed.

God, mothers, eh? The trouble is, even if she got sick, chances are she's forgotten all about it and how debilitating it is to be nauseous 24/7 for months. 90% get pregnancy sickness.

My mother thinks it was invented by the weak, and would probably be at least as unsympathetic as yours.

Also I honestly think she is treating you like a child. I'm sure she wouldn't treat any other adult this way. Have you considered getting paid carers for your daughter? Can you afford it?

And FFS, DON'T MAKE the BEDS! Dust mites will proliferate! It's much better to leave them turned back all day!!!

My nan's response:

Do you think your mum will be able to cope looking after two on a Thursday and Friday?

Is everything always about my mum??

Interestingly, my mum suffers very badly with migraine, and once her headache has subsided, spends two days throwing up. That's the last time she's getting any sympathy from me!!

Pinkjenny, try to drink a small cup of water every hour. If you are not drinking at all, you run the risk of dehydration.

Contact your midwife/gp re the above. If you become badly dehydrated you run the risk of ketosis.

Early pregnancy tiredness/nausea is awful. I am sorry you are not being supported by your mum. Hope you feel better soon.

Not much help, I know. Just wanted you to know people sympathise with you.