to be ever so shocked by .....

[cookielove]

I clearly love children, working in childcare and everything.

A few weeks ago i was out shopping when a mother and her two children walked past, the shop i was in had pillars that held metal hanging poles at all different levels, so the mother walks past shouting at her children to hurry up the smaller child catches her head on the end of the pole, (bless her it had to really hurt) so she starts crying the mum turns round and basically thumps the child in the back of the head and says will you Fing stop whining. Shock and horror across mine and my mates face. Her sister pipes up as they are leaving 'mum she hit her head' and the mum turns round and says 'well she's always whining anyway' is she trying to justify her actions, i couldn't believe what i saw and what i heard.

Do wish i had the nerve to say something, and i wish the mum gave her a cuddle after she left the store but something makes me think she didn't

Cookielove, you made that pretty clear, and I think your basic point was well-made. Yanbu for thinking that hitting out at a child that easily is shocking.

Some posters who've talked about their awful day have said about shouting and having a bit of a parental paddy, but that's different to hitting, isn't it? There's looking shouty and mental on the one side, and on the other side there's hitting a crying child and saying "well she's always whinging anyway!". Two different things. Not the same at all. One's understandable and excusable - the other isn't.

She could be an utterly shit mother who hits the kids all the time
but she also could have reached the end of her tether that day and have gone home feeling terrible and in tears.

I think the strong response here in her defence is most likely because we all really want it to be the second situation! Its so horrible to believe its the first iyswim.

Today my 3 year old destroyed my brand new cushions by ripping the buttons off with his hands one by one while I was making breakfast. I dont get new things very often and these were a gift, I was pretty upset.
I shouted at him, he cried a lot. I sat him on the naughty step and he screamed for 3 mins.
When I went to get him I realised he was screaming because he'd cut his hand badly ripping the buttons off the cushion.
I felt terrible... but these things do happen!

Sometimes I have seriously wanted to thump DS but I never have. Certainly even if he was whining a lot and hurt himself a lot I would give him a hug. I do however often end up dragging him places / shouting in public / dealing with screeching child when he is having a complete meltdown.

Surely its wrong if she thumped her child whatever though? I can understand everything but that bit...

Some people do hit their children, and it is not illegal in England.

I would not do it, but then I don't agree with time out/naughty steps either. To me they are just as bad, but I would not judge others for it.

The mother shouldn't have hit the girl who had done nothing wrong, but we can't know what she is like as a parent the rest of the time.

I have said (shouted) things at my kids that I will regret forever. And I'm not sure it is preferable to being hit.

People don't always behave as they should.