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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think this women is a complete moo??

43 replies

6inchnipples · 20/05/2009 22:29

There is a mother at my ds preschool. She is always going on about how 'perfect' her kids are. They are very quiet, shy perhaps, but to the point that i find them almost rude as they never answer when you speak to them. My kids are spirited, creative, cheeky, independant, wilful and sometimes downright naughty but she goes on like 'oh x would never do that (something my child is doing) X has always been perfect' It really winds me up.

Another thing she does that pisses me off. I got a breastfeeding bag thingy when preg from m/w, i ask her did u get one?? She says 'no i dont breastfeed, i prefer the idea of bottle feeding so my husband and i can share it'. I doubt the m/w was only handing out bags to those that were intending to breast feed

Latest annoyance. I mention giving kids their milk before bed. She asks 'oh do you still give them milk before bed' (They are all under 5)i say i do and so she tells me her child is not allowed anything to drink after dinner, i ask what if she is thirsty would you let her have a little water? I don't think so she says, it might make her get up in the night and i'm not having that.

I just find this fucking cruel. Is a drink of water not a human right? And getting up in the night? is that not just part of being a parent?

OP posts:
6inchnipples · 20/05/2009 23:02

i realise we all do things differently, she is the one initiating the chat, i literally run away from her as i find it irritating having my kids compared to her child all the time as they are very dif altho i'm not the one claiming mine are perfect (far from it)

She just bugs the tits off me so i avoid her now having previously taken time to invite her for coffee, along to toddler grps etc

OP posts:
6inchnipples · 20/05/2009 23:05

Not just skinny, skinnY AND constantly talks about exercise and is a control freak. Yeah could be wrong about that bit but it wouldn't surprise me.

OP posts:
TheCrackFox · 20/05/2009 23:06

Being skinny might just mean she doesn't eat biscuits all day.

It is not illegal not to go to baby groups.

Most mums think their own DCs are more perfect than anyone elses.

Some women choose not to BF. Not the end of the world. Maybe she tried with the first one and it really wasn't for her?

OK the drink thing is weird but maybe her DCs have had massive bed wetting issues and she doesn't want to talk about it?

tw1nkley · 20/05/2009 23:17

I would tell her that she should speak to her HV about no drinks after tea because it could have health damaging consequences for the dc. I spent too much time thirsty when I was a child, its not something you forget.

Just found this about bedwetting ...

What you can do 'To increase bladder capacity and encourage good function, ensure that your child has 6-8 glasses of water or water-based drinks throughout the day,' stresses the advisor from ERIC. However, during the last couple of hours before bedtime, limit drinks to water or diluted juice only, as there are certain ingredients in other drinks that may exacerbate the problem. Encourage your child to empty his bladder just before you tuck him in.

its on this website

6inchnipples · 20/05/2009 23:22

I'm not jealous that she is skinny. I'm slim and far better looking oh and i'm perfect.

yip i know its not illegal not to go to baby grps, just like its not illegal not to play with ur kids but its still a bit shit.

I think my kids are more perfect than anyone elses... i just dont go telling others about it and slagging off their kids.

I know lots of women don't breast feed, im a midwife. And i know its not the end of the world. She didn't try with first one, she doesn't fancy it. Her words.

Her kid doesn't have bed wetting issues, my ds is only just becoming dry at night, so mine was the one with issues as far as she is concerned.

OP posts:
6inchnipples · 20/05/2009 23:25

tw1nkly i have read this stuff too thats why i found it

My ds(4) only just becoming regularly dry at night but my dd (2) been reliable for yonks.

Apparently red and brown drinks before bed a no no as irritate bladder.

OP posts:
ronshar · 20/05/2009 23:28

In the ivillage article it does say twice that drinks should be limited before bed time. So maybe she has just taken this bit of advice slightly too far.
I try to discourage my DDs from having anything much to drink after 6pm. They are in bed by 7pm. I feel quite strongly about getting good sleep so would rather they slept through than had to get up for the loo in the night. However if they are thirsty then they are allowed to get a drink.

Some mothers do feel the need to appear perfect. And I think it is sad for them. How lonely her life must be.

liahgen · 20/05/2009 23:36

6inch, could I direct you to my thread please for a min

thank you

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 21/05/2009 13:30

The woman does sound like a pain.

I do hope people don't go around thinking preschool kids are rude because they don't answer people who say hello to them though, my DD steadfastly ignores people and it's not for want of teaching her manners.

MorrisZapp · 21/05/2009 13:37

I don't get what you're moaning about.

Why is it that in every thread like this it's always 'My friend brags about her children but they're not that great. My kids are (x, x, and x wonderful qualities). I'm sick of her bragging'

Cue responses: 'Your kids sound lovely. She is just an insecure bragger'.

Am I missing something or do you both brag about your kids? Or, is it only bragging when it's other people's kids, in the same way that one person's witty, creative, adorably naughty child is another person's spoilt annoying brat?

wolfnipplechips · 21/05/2009 13:39

YABU apart from the drinks which is a bit mean what else has she done that is so wrong and i bet she doesn't completelt deprive them.

BF is a personal choice she wasn't mean in her response to you just stated it how it was and aren't everyones kids perfect?

Are you sure there isn't another reason your put out by her?

wolfnipplechips · 21/05/2009 13:41

BTW children are entitled to be shy, my dd is confident in someways but doesn't speak to adults easily and has been like that since she could talk.

Upwind · 21/05/2009 13:44

I love you Morris Zapp

Upwind · 21/05/2009 13:45

OP - are you sure you are not simply jealous of this mother's slender body and well behaved DC?

MorrisZapp · 21/05/2009 13:48

Thanks Upwind, I love you too! Fwiw, I was a witty, creative, adorably naughty child. Still am really, but I know a lot of the other kid's parents thought I was an almighty pain in the backside, which I probably was.

I used to ask people's mums if they believed in god, and their dads how much they earned etc. Then say 'But WHY shouldn't you say these things' endlessly. (slaps younger self)

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 21/05/2009 13:49

These threads worry me, I talk to people about my DD at toddler group and its just conversation, but when I read these I end up thinking..."oh are people feeling full of hatred towards me deep down" .. you do sound quite bitter, OP

MorningTownRide · 21/05/2009 13:59

Have you ever 'failed' to breastfeed? Hmmm?

When you tell people you tried and it hurt and your baby had to go back to hospital and with your next baby nobody would help you so you ff instead....Sometimes it's easier just to say you chose to ff.

As for the no drinks after dinner. We eat at 5.30 - 6.00 then we say no drinks after that...well apart from the water just before bed

"My kids are spirited, creative, cheeky, independant, wilful and sometimes downright naughty" Whoop di frickin' do

thefortbuilder · 21/05/2009 14:22

maybe she couldn't breastfeed and doesn't want a huge conversation about it so came up with some other reason.

or has she had a boob job that no one knows about so she couldn't bf?

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