to think we should give up trying for a baby against DP's wishes?

[TotallyAndUtterlyPaninied]

MC'd 15th of April and hoped all month I'd get pregnant straight away. It's 5 weeks today since I started bleeding.

Did a test and it's negative. I feel very depressed and can't get babies out of my mind. I feel like I'm going to turn bitter if I carry on.

DP thinks I'm giving up only 2 months after we started trying in the first place and thinks we should keep trying. But I feel like it's better to accept that it's not going to happen for us, and just move on rather than face heartbreak every month (or every day).

Should we give up or carry on trying?

carry on
two months is nothing

good luck
chin up

I think its too soon to say its never going to happen, but I also think you could benefit from a break from thinking about it and trying, get a clear head and grieve for the baby you lost before thinking about trying again.
I'm sorry for your loss. Hope you feel up to trying again in a few months. x

keep trying. It will happen

I don't know you, or your circumstances, so I really can't advise. But the average British woman takes around 6 months to conceive. And 1 in 3 pregnancies ends in miscarriage. I understand (I really do) the pain of repeated negative pregnancy tests, and of miscarrying, but I think it's too early to convince yourself it isn't going to happen for you.

Are you sure there isn't anything else going on? Are you quite sure it's what you really want? I think most people in your position would be prepared to carry on. If you don't want to give up, then please don't. Hang on in there.

I would give yourself a break.

Having a MC is a sad and difficult experience and it sounds like you need a little bit of time to come to terms with that before you are ready to try again.

Why don;t you suggest to DH that you have a couple of months off and then try again later in the year?

You might feel ready to try again once you have given yourself a bit of time?

Totally, I think you need to come back here. You poor love, I know how you feel. Its ok, it will happen. Have a bit of a wallow. Miscarriages are shit shit shit. Don't feel bad about feeling defeated.

sorry that you lost your baby.

That's terribly sad.

It is early days,although every day/ month must feel stretched out and a painful wait.

I can't speak for you, but I know after my MC the grief and loss was all the more poignant with trying again.

Don't despair, it is a difficult time.

Thanks everyone, I've gone under Lucky's wing and gone back to the TTC thread. I seem to be wandering around looking for answers (or one answer- 'you will be pregnant in so many days').

I don't want to give up, I just don't want to feel like this forever

Aww hon - don't give up. it took us 13 months with 2 very early miscarriages/chemical pregnancies and now I'm 28 weeks. It is def worth the waiting...

Take a break from TTC. You feel wretched because you have had a mc and you want/don't want to 'replace' that baby - I've been there, it's very conflicting and upsetting. Just take the pressure off for a while - you will feel differently, I promise. But take a break for your own emotional health. xxx

I also think you should take a break from TTC, paln a few nice things for the summer, and then come back to it when you are feeling up to it.

I had one DD and thought that I would conceive straigh away with no 2 but one very early miscarriage and a year later I ended up with DS. I was resentful every month and gutted when other people announced their pregnancies. It's natural to feel so dispondant. I would keep trying and accept that it could take a while.

And you should go to the ttc threads for support- AIBU is fraught with danger for any topic

Sorry for your loss.

It was a year after i MC before i was pregnant again (not saying this will be your case) I remember all the neg pg tests and hoping this will be the month. 4 yrs on we now have 3 girls.

Hang in there its early and never say never in the game of TTC. The TTC threads are so supportive on mumsnet.