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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think a colleague coming back to work off maternity leave can say WHEN she is coming back

27 replies

Joggler · 20/05/2009 11:26

as she is
a) happy to come back
b) definitely coming back
c) would help us ALL if we knew.( affects other peoples jobs)

do some people think they have to leave it to the months notice even if they KNOW alread?

OP posts:
Original poster
Joggler · 20/05/2009 11:28

.

OP posts:
SparklyGothKat · 20/05/2009 11:28

YABU I was all set to return to work after Ds1 and in the final month we decided that I would stay at home with Ds1 and cope on Dh's wages. Things change and she might not be fully sure what is going to happen

MollieO · 20/05/2009 11:28

The law doesn't require longer notice and she may change her mind so yes you YABU (not often I actually say that to anyone!).

nickytwotimes · 20/05/2009 11:29

They don't know though do they?
Things can change in a matter of weeks.
Sorry Joggler, but yabu.

MadameCastafiore · 20/05/2009 11:29

She has every right to tell you when she wants to. YABVVVU.

Original poster
Joggler · 20/05/2009 11:29

yes but she has already said she IS and needs the money.

grr

OP posts:
Original poster
Joggler · 20/05/2009 11:30

oh i know i am tbh.
but its inconsiderate. I mean its not like she has had 3 months off , its AGES.
make yer farking mind up.

OP posts:
babyOcho · 20/05/2009 11:30

YABU, it can all change. You don't know how she is feeling or what her real situation is.

jasper · 20/05/2009 11:31

joggler I fee l your pain.
It is very disupting for those still at work.
But it is the employee's right to do it .

YANBU

wickedwitch81 · 20/05/2009 11:31

Yes YABU - circumstances change, people can change their minds.. When i had my DD i was adamnat that i wasn't going back but when the time came to give my answer i had to go back.

nickytwotimes · 20/05/2009 11:32

But what people say and what they do are different.

Original poster
Joggler · 20/05/2009 11:33

lol at nicky.
Financialyl its in her interest to come back at that time.

OP posts:
Weegiemum · 20/05/2009 11:33

" "

Is that not

BigBellasBeerBelly · 20/05/2009 11:34

I have said I am going back to work after next DC.

I really really want to.

But in practice it depends on various factors revolving around childcare as to whether i actually will be able to or not.

So I suppose I have been misleading as I have been saying I will return. I have however said that it's reasonable for them to assume that I will take the whole entitlement.

Sorry you're in a pickle Joggler, I think all you can do is assume the max and take it from there? Maybe post in employment there will be people who know how best to go about covering mat leave etc.

Original poster
Joggler · 20/05/2009 11:35

OK so what about this. You know when you are going back - no issue about it. DO you tell them anwyay or not tell them. A mate of a mate did this and we couldnt understand it.

I mean oyu could tip them the wink - its looking like early August or whatever

OP posts:
bigchris · 20/05/2009 11:35

yes maybe she is having trouble sorting out childcare

Original poster
Joggler · 20/05/2009 11:37

hmm she has had QUITE a few months to sort it.
i know IABU. I just think a month is not enough.

OP posts:
BigBellasBeerBelly · 20/05/2009 11:42

I think people like to play it close to their chest as things can change so quickly with a little one. You just don't know how you're going to feel. BTW many nurseries aruond here have waiting lists so long that you have to get your name down when you find out you are pg, if you want a place for when you go back to work after a year.

edd021208 · 20/05/2009 11:44

YABU. It really is completely their business for now, and while you might think you know all about their life (eg refs to them needing the money and so on) who knows what is going on, or what might change? I've so many friends who have changed their minds as the time to go back to work looms, just as their babies start getting more interesting!!

ReligiousBiscuit · 20/05/2009 11:44

yanbu - pita

meemar · 20/05/2009 11:47

If she gave you a date that she was definitely coming back, then changed her mind (because circumstances change) you would still be pissed off.

So she may as well leave her options open, because she can't win either way!

Gateau · 20/05/2009 11:53

YABU.
Motherhood changes EVERYTHING and comes BEFORE everything. Work might be first and foremost in your mind and your colleagues', but for many mothers - me included, it's further down.

EyeballsisonaDietAgain · 20/05/2009 11:56

I decided a few months before that I was going back but even up to the last week I was hoping for a financial miracle so that I didn't have to. I coouldn't really confirm one way or the other what my name was for the first year of dd's life

flowerybeanbag · 20/05/2009 12:07

YABU because things can so easily change, and frequently do.

Having said that, if she wants to come back earlier than the full year, she must give 8 weeks notice, not a month.

Original poster
Joggler · 20/05/2009 12:08

ok ok! I haev accpeted i ABU

just wanted to say if you KNOW and are sure - second kid maybe, then bloody say

OP posts: