At about 3am this morning dh and I sat bolt upright in bed to the sound of someone messing about on dd's toy keyboard downstairs. It was very loud. It was not one of the demo tunes - it was someone bashing the keys.
Both children in bed with us, so not them.
With only the minimal of prodding from me, dh gallantly shuffled out of bed and went to investigate...
... only to come back seconds later to reassure me that the baby gate at the top of the stairs was closed. You see, we have one of those special baby gates that can withstand an onslaught from gangs of musical armed robbers. Oh no, we don't, it's just a normal baby gate.
The jaunty keyboard music downstairs continued unabaited.
Dh bravely crept downstairs.
I waited upstairs with the children.
...
...
...
The keyboard music stopped.
...
I waited.
...
Nothing.
...
Right. By now they must have dh trussed and gagged and suspended from the light fittings. How am I going to escape? I'd have to throw the children on to the trampoline from the balcony. But then the gang of masked thugs might see... had we closed the sitting room curtains before coming to bed? Maybe I'd be better to hide? In our rather small 2-bedroom house. Okay, I'd bargain with them. Could I buy them off with my jewelery box? Probably not. I'd need a weapon. Would a coat hanger make a better weapon or a shoe?
...
Downstairs a chain flushed.
...
Someone padded upstairs.
...
I clutched my coat hanger and put myself between the door and the children.
...
Dh, yawning and scratching his bum, appeared in the bedroom.
Well?
Well what?
Everything okay?
Oh. Yeah. Dunno what was going on with the keyboard.
AND YOU HAD A WEE BEFORE COMING TO LET ME KNOW THIS?