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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take DS out of school and move to Australia

38 replies

katedan · 20/05/2009 10:07

DH has been offered a job in OZ for two years. Both of us are tempted to take the job as we travelled round OZ about 15 years ago and loved it but DS is now in yr1 and has finally settled in (he struggles to make friends). We would obviously have to enroll him in school in Australia and I am worried it will be hard for him to adjust. Also I would be a SAHM (as I am here) with my 2 year old twins and am worried I will be very lonely.

So I am selfish to move the family abroad or selfish to DH to say no and stay in the UK.

We have to make a decsion in the next couple of weeks as it takes 8 weeks to apply for visa's and we would have to go in sept so we will be back in Sept 2011 for the twins to start school. It is a HUGE decsion and I would really like the opnions of MN's.

OP posts:
BonsoirAnna · 20/05/2009 10:09

Where about in Australia would you be living? The first thing is to know what sort of accommodation you would have, in what area, so that you can evaluate the lifestyle you might have there.

belgo · 20/05/2009 10:19

Agree with Anna. You have to think about the standard of life you would have, do you think you can make friends, join in activities for the children. Or do you think you will be stuck in the house with the twins all day. it can be very lonely moving abroad with a young family.

Having said that, I would move. Two years in Australia sounds fantastic.

mummydoc · 20/05/2009 10:21

go - you could always come back if it was a disaster but you may live to regret not trying. opportunities come along rarely so grab it. you little boy might find the relaxed atmosphere, less pressurised education system over there easier to cope with and as anywhere in the world there will be playgroups, tumble tots etc to make friends at. We lived there for 7 yrs and loved it. make sure the job offer comes with as many relocation perks as you can get. ask dh to see if he can organise any mummy contacts i.e. doe shis new boss or colleagues have wifes/husbands who are at home with oyung children who could show you around ?

Weegiemum · 20/05/2009 10:29

I'd go! Its an experience, isn't it? Not selfish at all - children move schools all the time (I moved my dd1 from a 4-class rural primary to a huge city school and she thrived on it!) and there are activities anywhere for preschoolers. And at least the language won't be a problem (... at least, not much ...)

hannahsaunt · 20/05/2009 10:46

Go - I sat and felt homesick for my ds1's Ozzie grade 1 class yesterday and flicked through their website reading the weekly newsletter and thinking about how is classmates have grown. We went for a year and I stayed at home with the boys - there was a fantastic amount of stuff to do with the children and we had an amazing year. I would go back (though not forever!)

FabulousBakerGirl · 20/05/2009 10:47

I would go like a shot.

slug · 20/05/2009 11:04

Go.

The experience of a new school and a new, though not entirely dissimilar, culture may well be good for your DS. You will probably find the school allocates a 'buddy' for your son to ease him into the new school and he will be exotic and therefore interesting to his new classmates.

If nothing else there are the wide open spaces, good weather and the opportunity to try out things you might never get the chance to do in the UK. Just one thing to make sure of before you go, if you don't drive already, make sure you get a drivers licence. The distances are unimaginable and the public transport system is not as comprehensive as here.

Original poster
katedan · 20/05/2009 11:08

Thanks ladies, my husband will be based in Brisbane so we will be looking to live in one of the subarbs near by. company not offering many perks as it is such an attractive relocation but they will pay for our flights, first two weeks accomadation, shipping costs for our belongings and some setling in costs. We will have to pay rent, medical insurance, buy a car etc.

Where did you live Hannahsaunt and mummydoc?

It is very scary but also very exciting.

OP posts:
inscotland · 20/05/2009 11:17

Go. It would be one of those things you'd regret if you didn't do it. Join us on the british expats website where you will find loads of people more than happy to help you with the right areas of Brisbnae and schools etc.

You are very lucky!

sunnydelight · 20/05/2009 11:21

Go for it, it will be an adventure and you will regret it if you don't. We're in Sydney - moved here nearly two years ago now - and absolutely love it. One word of advice though, the school system is different and depending on your son's birthday he may go "back a year". A lot of English people find the system here less academically focused than in the UK, especially in the early years, they are far more into "rounded individuals" here. Pesonally I love it and it suits my kids, but we're here permanently with no intention of ever going back to the UK. If you need to slot your son back into the English system in a couple of years you need to be fairly on top of what is going on. A private school might meet your needs better (and may look favourably on any request to keep your son in the year he's in in the UK rather than moving him back) so it might be worth seeing if your DH's employe would cough up for that, it's fairly common. Good luck and enjoy

reddress · 20/05/2009 11:39

Australians are lovely fun people who adore children and will probably invite you over for a barbie on your first night!It is a warm comfortable climate with gorgeous beaches and fantastic food and wine,go for it!

slug · 20/05/2009 11:42

My brother lives in Brisbane. His house has a large garden and the school his DSs go to is great. You will be near fantastic beaches and within holidaying distance of the Great Barrier Reef.

lucky1979 · 20/05/2009 11:44

Do it! My Dad turned down the opportunity of a year placement in Paris as Mum was worried about how my brother and I would settle in, and I always wish they had taken us, would have been amazing.

There may well be an international school available though your DH's work and they tend to be full of kids who are used to classmates coming and going which might make things easier for your DS.

SammyK · 20/05/2009 11:46

ooh I would go in a heartbeat what an offer

{whispers} I probably wouldn't come back either

bigchris · 20/05/2009 11:47

yes, will you have to come back?

muxlo · 20/05/2009 11:56

What a wonderful opportunity!
I live with the hope that one day DP's company will relocate us somewhere sunny.
Go go go!

mummydoc · 20/05/2009 14:48

we lived in brisbane for 7 years , it is a really great place, though like slots of big cities does have some rahter souless suburbs. The inner city suburbs are full of yummy mummys and activities, i did toddler yoga, baby swimming, tumble tots, playgroup, coffee in the park ( the parks are amazing) . you'll love it !!! if oyur budget stretches live in new farm or paddington or redhill ( all luvely suburbs but new farm is on the river and fab park , gorgeous cafes etcetc. we lived there and loved it

hannahsaunt · 20/05/2009 14:56

We were in Townsville, north QLD. Brisbane would be fab and there are some lovely mnetters around (Eidsvold is in Brisbane so she could give you lots of inside info). Sounds like a pretty good lot the co is giving already - flights and shipping is great. Schooling was amazing and the opportunities just wonderful; ds1's school had something like 6 acres of playground including a rainforest area and 2 ovals and climbing frames etc (school numbers were capped at 400 as they had such a small playground!!!). Need to leave now but could wax lyrical for hours if needed

NellieTheEllie · 20/05/2009 15:01

Have only read the Thread Title....
No YANBU.
Go....!!!! You'll have a ball.

mrsruffallo · 20/05/2009 15:08

YADNBU
I would be packing already!

lynniep · 20/05/2009 15:21

I'd go as well if thats the only reason stopping you. I really liked Brisbane (didnt live there though - lived in Sydney for 15 months) and I think there will be plenty of stuff to do with the twins socially if you're a SAHM.

I also think it will be a great opportunity for your DS. I dont know what year 1 is (is it young - 5/6?) If so , they are so young they will definately benefit from experience change of scenery/culture etc.

Two years is a good amount of time to decide if you really like it too - maybe you wont want to come back (I wanted to come home as it happens, but I dont regret going, although was without kids at the time!)

nickschick · 20/05/2009 15:23

GO [ENVY]

LouLovesAeroplaneJelly · 20/05/2009 15:25

katedan - I'm from Brisbane so feel free to ask away.
If I was in your position I would go like a shot. For every reason that is listed above.

sorrytonamechange · 20/05/2009 15:29

golly haven't even read the thread in my eagerness to say

GO just go just go

it's a good time for your son, it's just going to be great for you

I have never met an unfriendly Australian out or in Australia

have a good time baby

bye!!!!

legalalien · 20/05/2009 15:52

Hmm, I think it's a hard one (unlike everyone else, it seems). Some points I think you need to consider:

(i) how good is the job opportunity from DH's perspective - does it have benefits other than the fact it is located in Australia, in terms of career advancement / what the job is. Would he take the job if it wasn't in Australia? Does he really want to do it? Is there an "easy" route back to the UK at the end of the two year period, or earlier if you do end up massively homesick?

(ii) How much do you rely on family for childcare / help at the moment? Are they "down the road", so that they help out on a regular basis? If so you may find that you miss them more than you think; if not it will make less of a difference. If you are used to that sort of support network you may find it hard to be away from it (from personal experience, it isn't easy to be 12000 from family and close friends - although you will doubtless make new friends in Oz, this will take a little time)

(iii) only you know your son's personality - some children are a lot more sensitive than others. Most children, anecdotally, seem to be quite good at adjusting to this sort of change, but you will undoubtedly have the most insight!

(sorry if this sounds a bit negative, just want to make sure it isn't all too "australia, fab, everything will automatically be perfect because the sun is shining"....). As others have said, I don't think the loneliness (or the change of school curriculum) will be that big a deal. Remember that the school year runs from January in Oz.