My DP works part time in a local shop. He does various shifts, but the earliest he starts is 11am. We have a 2.3yo old DD who gets up at about 9am every morning (sometimes it is as early as 7am, sometimes as late as 10am) I don't work, so I don't mind getting up with DD most mornings. However, is it unreasonable for me to expect DP to, maybe once a week, allow me to stay in bed for an hour or so longer while he gets up with DD, does her breakfast and gets her dressed?
Most nights he is up till 3 or 4am or even later playing world of warcraft on his computer, and even when he has what he calls a "morning shift" (ie 11-3) he only gets up about 10.30. Today he got up at 4pm. I got up at the same time, but for me, it was after a nap after I had spent all morning entertaining DD.
He is very good generally, and does most of the housework on top of working, but I am pregnant and suffering with tiredness, morning sickness and depression, and could really do with the gesture that he sees DD as his responsibility too.
It's not just mornings, it's little things all day long, for example, if he goes to the shop he just goes by himself, but if I go and try to nip out by myself he makes a big deal of "do you want to go with mummy?" to DD so I have to take her, thus making the entire trip take about five times longer.
Or if we eat tea together (which he usually cooks, but only because he refuses to eat my cooking) he always wolfs his down then goes straight into the other room to read the paper or play on the computer. DD is usually the next to finish (I eat very slowly as I'm generally trying my best not to throw it back up) and makes a fuss to get down from her highchair, so i lift her down and she goes into the other room to see her daddy. He then starts muttering under his breath about me not letting him have a break at all and often tells her to go back into the kitchen.
He does work hard, but he's not full time, and he only works for a max of four hours at a time (very rarely he will do two four hour shifts straight after each other, when of course I don't expect him to do anything at home). He moans that he is exhausted, but that is mainly because of the late nights he spends either on the computer or out at the pub.
I think one of the most annoying things is that whenever anyone professional is around (quite a few people visit the house due to my mental health problems and pregnancy) he won't leave her alone!
I am probably being unreasonable, but neither of us are morning people, and neither is DD, and she can be very demanding in the morning. Earlier in the pregnancy he would bring me breakfast in bed, which was absolutely lovely, but he would still bring DD in and leave her in bed with me, often while I was actually throwing up into a bucket beside the bed. When we got downstairs we would always find him on the computer.
Like i say, he does do most of the housework, so I feel really mean moaning, is it just that I am getting depressed that I am finding it hard to cope? I feel like world of warcraft is the "other woman" in our lives. He will quite happily sit and ignore DD to play on it for hours and hours. I will sit and read the paper while she is playing quietly, but I rarely get through an article without being interrupted several times to deal with her.
He had to look after her for an hour recently (because I was throwing up and so dizzy I didn't feel safe in charge, and he was just in bed) and didn't even know where her nappies were kept!
I keep saying I will make more of an effort with the housework, it's just I'm finding it so hard at the moment to just keep myself and DD going day to day. I had a bath yesterday and it was the first time I had washed myself in two weeks. Skanky, I know, but I just couldn't get together the enthusiasm during daylight hours (the bathroom light is broken) along with the time apart from DD. In the end I just announced I was going for a bath while she was napping and told him he had to listen out for her.