to think that DH is actually being unreasonable?

[Boobalina]

Long story short. We have 2 kids - 4 and 19 months. DD who is 19 months gets up most mornings at 6am which is rather antisocial but nothing can stop that at the moment. So to combat fatigue / annoyance - DH and I have been taking it in turns to get up with her in the morning and then wake the other at 6.50am to get ready for work.

I am now longer working and for the time being am a SAHM with the kids going to nursery 2 short days a week.

It was my turn yesterday AM to get up with DD and she surpassed herself at waking at 5am and not going back to sleep.

This morning was DH turn to get up and she woke at 5.55am and the conversation went like this

DH: (stifled sob like noise) Its too early, she cried out in the night and woke me up too, I'm not getting up, you can as I have to go to work this morning.

Me: But its my turn to sleep in and I was up at 5am yesterday

DH: You dont have to go to work like I do and the kids are at nursery so you'll be doing nothing all day anyway

Me: Various swearing and then I say I'll do it this once but I am not doing it again tomorrow when you change your bloody mind on a whim.

So he then gets up at 6.50am and basically gives me evil looks and says that I made him so cross he couldnt get back to sleep properly and that was all my fault. I got really cross and said he was a selfish twat and should say sorry and then all hell broke loose and we both spectactularly lost it and said really horrid things to each other and he has gone to work and now we arent speaking

I kn ow its a boring 'he said / she said' thing to read but he's really annoyed me!

Yes, rest if you want and sleep in the daytime, when kids are out at nursery. I found that difficult as there were so many chores to do..

I think that was the most annoying thing - as I had offered the night before to get up and he declined and then as I was lieing there thinking - great I dodnt have to get up now - he started the whole thing off. (He has been doing it a lot since I stopped working).

Anyway, I have just emailed him saying I will do the earlies with DD mon to fri and we do a lie-in each at weekend. He is pleased.

He does help with kids, does the baths himself and takes his turn at cooking when he can. But is very poor at being appreciative or saying thank you. He does that screwed up whatever face alot also...

Grrr.!

Indeed Maltesers. I did treat myself to a cup of nice coffee and a sit down with Grazia for 10 mins this morning, inbetween food shopping, laundry, ironing, getting stuff out of loft for a toy sale this sunday, tidying house. (I'm not being a matyr promise!)

Tell him " i would love it if you just say Thankyou for ..." Its important to say it to each other occasionnally so we feel appreciated. Motherhood can be a thankless task...some thankyou 's are nice.
Of course you are not being a martyr.... daily chores never stop... there is always something to do in the house. If you saw my teenage dd 's room your hair would stand on end. !!! i am not goin g to tidy it... she is 18 yrs old and hates me touching it... !!

My ds is 8 yrs and STILL wakes up at 6.15 and ofen comes in... but at least i dont have to get out of bed... tilll 7am. Wait tilll kids are teenagers.... they NEVER get up..... till 11.30 am. Trouble is they dont get to bed till midnight !!!aaaaahhhhh !!

Sorry, but I agree with the others that YABabitU and like MmeLindt said, don't let it end up being a "you had this & I didn't & I now expect you to make it up by blah, blah, blah."

Is your 19 month old in a bed or a cot?

Could you not put her in a bed and put a safety gate on the door and let her get up and entertain herself in the morning untill you get up.

Glad that you and he have come to an agreement. I agree with Maltesers (have to as I have a dog named after her, or at least the breed is, the dog isn't)

Sorrry, Rambling

Thing is, you do so much at home and it can be really irritating to then have the feeling that he feels like you are sitting around doing bugger all.

Make sure you reserve some of the two nursery days for yourself. Get your hair done, go for coffee with a friend, go swimming or to the gym. You will be happier, and a happier mummy makes happier DC.

Shame it does not make them sleep longer

This is a hard stage though - it gets easier as they get older and you get more sleep, honest. Try to build in a nap after lunch for yourself on nursery days, since, as you have now taken on board, you are going to have to get up more than DH is. And don't feel guilty about it!