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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that dozing off on the sofa is OK for a babysitter?

62 replies

BitOfFun · 18/05/2009 16:46

To my mind it is - if the kids wailed it would probably wake her up, we have smoke alarms etc, and I often have a snooze myself after I've put the kids to bed...

Another poster was annoyed to come in at 11pm though and find this to be the case, and I just wondered if anyone else would have a problem with it?

One thing I did have a problem with was finding what looked suspiciously like a small open cellophane bag with some white powder in on the floor under MY BED...so I have never used that babysitter again - but as we'd had a few house guests (who seemed straight as a die though)that month I didn't throw any accusations around...Oh, how I wish I'd discovered mumsnet then

I digress: sleeping on the job - I say OK, so AIBU?

OP posts:
norktasticninja · 18/05/2009 17:15

I wouldn't find it a problem at all. Theoretically. I haven't actually manged to find a babysitter yet

Original poster
BitOfFun · 18/05/2009 17:20

That's the thing, hifi, I couldn't be 100% sure. The babysitter seemed a bit on the wayward side (but as she lived directly opposite I thought her mum would be on hand too etc and notice any wild parties etc)

My cousin and his fiancee had been sleeping in the bed for a few nights that month while visiting from abroad...then again, they are the straightest types you could imagine, and it's very hard to believe. Obviously it wasn't mine or DP's because we wouldn't waste the end of a bag like that don't touch the stuff. I was wary of causing a hoo-ha with my neighbour by telling her in case she didn't believe me, or if I was accusing her wrongly.

OP posts:
evansmummy · 18/05/2009 17:37

BitOfFun, that's shocking!

11 pm isn't late enough to warrant snoozing on someone's sofa when you're being paid to watch the children. Of course we as parents do it, but that's our call, our responsibilty. I think if you're paying someone it's awful to fall asleep. You wouldn't do it in any other job, so why is it acceptable when you're responsible for someone else's children?

Original poster
BitOfFun · 18/05/2009 17:42

I see your point, but I guess I've been inured to mere sleeping

OP posts:
nannynick · 18/05/2009 17:43

I suspect that come 1am-2am I am fairly dozy when babysitting that late (or should that be early), especially if the family don't have any nice coffee! But napping before midnight is wrong I feel. In fact napping at all whilst caring for someone else's children is wrong - but alas the human body doesn't respect that.

wolfnipplechips · 18/05/2009 17:44

Evansmummy but what be the difference if it was later? Maybe they had been up early or maybe they had been up late studying or something. I might think it was bad if they were unwakeable but usually they are woken by us coming in so just resting there eyes

FairLadyRantALot · 18/05/2009 17:47

Hmmm...not that i use payed Babysittes very often...but I think befor midnight it is a bit cheeky....afterall the Babysitter is being payed.
Also, I don't think you can compare a parent sleeping at night with a Babysitter....as most parents are kinda tuned into waking up if anything is wrong and the Kids wander, etc....well..I tend to wake up immediately...

Milliways · 18/05/2009 17:47

DD was mortified when she fell asleep once whilst babysitting.

To be fair she had been at her Saturday job all day, then straight to babysitting. She played with the kids until gone 9pm (they are 11 & 9) then did homework.

The parents found her asleep at around midnight, but didn't mind at all.

evansmummy · 18/05/2009 17:51

Don't get me wrong, I love sleeping. Just not on the job !

Btw, I had to look up inure. Good word!

claireybee · 18/05/2009 17:52

Sleeping on the sofa fine, shagging on the sofa not.

I always used to doze off when babysitting but was worried about not hearing the kids so it was a very light sleep.

Laquitar · 18/05/2009 18:00

I never slept when babysitting but i am one of those people who cant sleep easily. But most of my nanny friends did and none of the families had problem with this - you can have the baby monitor next to you anyway.

nannynick · 18/05/2009 18:04

When doing overnight childcare, I would have a terrible time sleeping... the slightest noise from the children's bedrooms would wake me.

Begs a question... if a babysitter is doing all night, then is it then acceptable that they sleep part of the time?

Makeda · 18/05/2009 18:47

I was the replacement for a babysitter that had drunk most of the contents of their drinks cabinet and used the mother's toothbrush to disguise her alcohol-breath before they got back, so personally I wouldn't be too worried about a little doze.

The problem is if you know it's almost the time they're coming back, so you don't really want to have a coffee because then you might not sleep when you get home (or I wouldn't), but your eyes are drooping and you don't want to sleep on the job! (Also I often used to drive home so needed to be awake enough for that).

FourArms · 18/05/2009 18:58

I don't mind at all if friends babysitting for us doze off on the sofa. I think any mum is awake in seconds when a baby starts crying. I'd be a bit more wary of teenagers sleeping though, as they are less likely to wake. We no longer use the baby monitor, so it's not that easy to hear through two doors a hall, stairs and landing.

Blondeshavemorefun · 18/05/2009 19:34

think it depends on the time - im a night owl, so have no problem staying awake till midnight

think if i was paying someone that i would expect them to be awake till then

unless they are staying over so can go to bed at sat 10.30 if they wnt to

so yes i would be pissed off to find them asleep on the sofa

  • if they didnt hear YOU come into the room, would they hear your children upstairs?
Wilkiepedia · 18/05/2009 19:39

Depends on how heavily asleep they are. I am such a light sleeper that a mouse farting would wake me up so it wouldn't be an issue for me not hearing the child/ren.

On the face of it, I wouldn't have an issue if they were just having a doze but I would be a bit put out if I managed to get in the house and have to physically wake them myself at 11pm.

magicOC · 18/05/2009 20:19

Depends on how late it is.

I did an 11hr day then went to babysitting (normally 1030/11pm latest on previous occassions for this particular family).

When they came back home I heard the front door open so woke from my snooze and said

MORNING

But then again it was 3am

No warning it was going to be this late, and I needed to be back up at 7am for another 11hr shift.

letswiggle · 18/05/2009 20:27

What a funny question - what's wrong with going to sleep at night? I do every night, after all.

Strange babysitter to leave their cocaine - isn't it very expensive?

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 18/05/2009 20:44

Lol - do parents stay awake all night? No? Well let the bloody babysitter sleep then. I always went to sleep if I was tired. Most people wake up if they hear a child wailing (apart from my DH that is )

Blondeshavemorefun · 18/05/2009 21:02

but parents arent being paid to look after their dc

the babysitter is, and i feel that they should be awake

magic oc - that seriously takes the piss,esp if they knew you were working the next day

if they wanted a late night,then they should have offered you to stay over and go to work from theirs

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 18/05/2009 21:08

Babysitters are being paid to be there in case the kids wake and need something, or in case of emergencies. They do not need to be awake all the time to do that job.
I personally found it physically impossible to stay awake late. That doesn't mean I wouldn't wake up if I needed to or that I wasn't a good babysitter.

magicOC · 18/05/2009 21:13

Blondes thats what I would have thought, or at least tell me the expected finish time when booking me then I would have made a choice.

My new rules are 1130 max on a work night (still have a bit of a drive home afterwards) and if it's going to be any later than 1am on a weekend it has to be pre arranged.

AND heating on when it's -5 outside, this is enough to make me want to hibernate under a blanket, guaranteed to find me asleep then

Blondeshavemorefun · 18/05/2009 21:17

ALWAYSfind out where the heating switch is

navyeyelasH · 18/05/2009 21:31

All the parents I work for tell me to have a little snooze, some even have blankets and pillows! I always babysit after already working a 10 hour day so must look pretty tired but feel too guilty to have a pre-meditated sleep IYSWIM? I have nodded off though but am always on edge listening to the monitor.

magicOC · 18/05/2009 21:40

Blondes re. heating switch........you live and learn

wont be making the same mistake this coming winter.