to be so upset about moving?

[debs40]

I'm probably being a big baby but I'm starting to get really upset about moving house.

We rent a house and have done for the last 6 years. Our children were born here (not literally but ykwim!).

Our landlords want the place back. They offered to sell it to us but we didn't feel it was a good time to buy - the local market is falling, uncertainty with dh's job)

Anyway, we are now moving into another rented house next week. I've been so busy running around doing everything. I have two kids (6 and 3) and dh works miles away and is out 7 to 7.

I've no family here about from a disabled brother who moved here at Christmas and who I have to support and sort out his bills and shopping etc etc.

I'm just arguing with dh all the time as he is really crap at organising anything and has done nothing towards the move. He just doesn't know what to do -- he's like a rabbit caught in the headlights..

I work from home and I've got loads on at the moment so I'm working weekends and evenings around the kids.

Today I'm sitting here crying about this crappy house. I don't think I thought we were actually going to move but it's hit me that we are and I'm so pissed off.

It's not as if we're moving to somewhere we will 'own' (or the bank will we're renting again so we will have to move again at some point when we want to buy.

The house we're moving to is nice enough. We had to stay local for the school as ds2 is due to start next year and we have to get his name down.

Maybe we should have just tried to buy this place? I don't know but I'm just thinking life is pretty crappy at the moment

You're not unreasonable to be upset.

Uncertainty about a job is a very good reason not to buy though - imagine if you'd bought the house, spent a fortune on legal fees, surveys, stamp duty and so on, then the job fell through, the mortgage became unmanageable and you had to leave anyway? Wouldn't that be worse? You might give up the house and still be left owing money to the mortgage company if the price of the house had fallen.

I do hope the move goes ok and you feel better about the new rented house when you get there.

Thanks. Trouble is, he was contracting and now he has got a permanent job so we would have been alright. I suppose in an ideal world this wouldn't be the house I would buy, but I didn't think I''d feel like this about moving to rent again

it's absolutely fair to be all of a mess before moving - all that history and all the faff of the move -
thing is like most things it's the preamble that's worse than the actual event -
it's tough changing everything but you never know it might be wonderful when you get there - nice to have something refreshing and new -
why not get a moving company that packs everything for you .. they are not always that expensive and are worth their complete weight in gold ...

Yanbu. Moving home, even locally, is a huge emotional strain. I'm sorry that your DH is so unhelpful, but typical of so many men who think that as they work such long hours everyone else should do the other stuff. Not knowing what to do is no excuse, he's an adult, he has the means to find out. There must be some sort of list somewhere on the internet with all the things you need to do when you move house.

Frankly, I'd do all the important things myself just to make sure they are done, arranging for last meter readings, informing the utilities companies of your new address and moving date, transfer phone no., hire van/removal co, get lots of mates to help if moving yourselves. Final rent payment confirmed on old house and new rent on new house. It's worth getting your mail redirected at the post office for 3 months, but do make sure you tell everyone you deal with your new address, banks, insurance, car registration/DVLA, school, work, Dr etc. Pack yours and the kids stuff, and let him take responsibility for his own stuff. It must be really tough to not be able to trust your partner to do these things.

I feel that you are overwhelmed by this whole situation. If you're going in a week there isn't a lot of time to worry about the what ifs, make a list of jobs for you to do, and one for DH, TELL HIM that these need doing urgently. Most only need a phone call, and the people at the other end will tell you what they need you to do if anything.

Good luck in your new home!

YANBU, I lived in my last house for 5 year and even now when i walk down my old street etc i well up, im a total wuss about it but its my house, i loved it. we were planning to move anyways but in our own time, because she wanted her house back we are in an ok one but not one i love like i did that one.

Thanks guys. You have made me feel better.

Great advice girlywhirly. I am so used to running around doing everything and I am sick and tired of nagging dh. He thinks I'm being a cow but I know I'm not unreasonable to expect him to do SOMETHING!!!!!

I will do a list and will go for packers and movers slightlyharried

Thanks again