to not really like it when people drop in unexpectedly any more?

[plumandolive]

It is my age ...I know ...I know... I used to love it, open house, always people coming and going.
This morning, at about 12, a friend I hadn't seen for a month dropped in unexpectedly, and I had people for lunch, and wasn't ready.
She's a good enough friend, and didn't stay long because she saw I had loads to do.
Fair enough on a Sunday though to drop in.

I work from home, so it happens during he week sometimes too. And I can't not answer the door because people come through the back which is usually open.

I'd just like some notice really.
But I also love seing my friends, but realise I'm no longer as casual about it. Time is shorter.

YANBU, but it hard to change people's habits. People just walk in without knocking, just a hello! at the bottom of the stairs - its a bit disconcerting!

But then, to be honest, I am a bit more of a hermit these days, and if I am given notice, I am often too busy for visitors! .

YANBU I can't stand it. It even puts me off people TBH. My attitude is if I wanted to socialise I would've arranged something. People think they can force themselves on me when I'm knackered, busy, or have exams coming up, and I'm expected to entertain them and their kids. So, so selfish. Rant over.

I thought it was just because I was getting older and more protective of my time- which I am.
I used to love those Summer days when the children were all very small and we opened some wine and cooked some pasta, and everyone stayed for ages.....

Ahhh

ha i know how you feel , my inlaws do this 2 me all the time , really annoying
i got so fed up with it last xmas i decided 2 do the same on my brother in law (as he is the worst offender) ha
we arrived over 2 their house ,saw his wife peeking out of window but she didn't answer the door but it worked coz since then my brother in law always rings when he almost at my house , gives me 1 mins notice , better than none

Time to lock tthe back door perhaps?

But what if someone says to you something like. "I don't work on Fridays, pop round one week" without making a definate arrangment/time, is it ok to just actually turn up one friday afternoon?

Dontlook- I think some people don't mind.
I wouldn't have a few years back!
Some people genuinely like friends feeling they can come and go.
I think.
Don't they?

Yes- back door..lock..hide... crawl on all fours to turn off radio....peek out through curtains until they've gone...

Sometimes though it's a "oh fuck, I haven't hoovered/washed up/or I look like shit" type emotion too though if I'm honest

I like people dropping in. But equally I am utterly ruthless and have no qualms about saying 'sorry, I'm working' or 'sorry, we're just about to have our tea' if its not a good time for them to visit. And then ignoring them and carrying on working / serve up food etc if they don't go away.

Now everyone has mobile phones I don't see the need to turn up uninvited. At one time you might be out and think "I'll just pop in and see so and so". Finding a call box would be too much messing about, but you have your phone right there now so can check that it's ok.