to ring and cancel the party altogether?

[ConnieComplaint]

Story so far.....

Dh has a cousin, I never see her unless she wants something, ie: a babysitter for her 5 children.

She rang me last week asking for a 'favour'. I said I would if I could...

so she launches into how she has started a new money making thing, hosting 'popular' parties... (think tupperware, but it's not this, just don't want to say here what it is incase she uses here too!)

She asked me if I would be interested in hosting one of these... I say not really, not my thing etc... she says "please, I am really desperate, I need to fo four a month to reach my target income, & i am going to ask XXXX XXXX & XXXX" (all relatives)

So finally I said what would it involve, she explains (that it would cost me a 'small' amount of money... but that if I bought anything I would get discount) I say I'd have to think about it & see when suits. That was last Friday... she called me again last Saturday, have I thought of dates yet? NO. She called me Monday... not, still not been talking to anyone, go ahead & book other parties & I'll hold one later.

She called me again a night through the week & i explained that some of the people I would have liked to ask were off on holidays, then I would be on holiday, then I have 2 weddings etc & didn't know exactly when would be suitable.

She kept on & on about setting a date. I eventually said I would call her back.

I was talking to a relative on Thursday who said she had called her to host a party & she had said no. She told me that no-one had booked one yet & dh's cousin was angry that she had said no & said I was 'messing her about'.......

She called me Friday & twice on Saturday, I didn't answer the phone as I am angry at her. I googled the firm & everything os so expensive no-one I know will be able to buy anything anyway!!

I feel like calling her & telling her I don't want to do it now, she can't force me, can she?

I reluctantly said I would host one in the first place & she knew I really didn't want to if I could help it

WWYD?

As a compromise why dont you ask her for some catalogues & say you will pass them round work/mums at school etc & try & get orders for her that way.

I used to do Virgin Vie cosmetics parties & if someone was reluctant to host a party i would offer then the chance to become an'angel' & that way they also earned themselves a bit of commission too.

Say no, life is too short, she is not a friend, you owe her nothing and it is not your responsibility to help her make money. Especially not from you and your friends.

I would tell her that I've had a think about it and I've decided that I don't want to hold one because I don't want any of the merchandise.

If she kept going on I would politely say "I've already said no" until the message hit home.

Just say no. You don't want to do it, can't afford it etc so just say so.
If she can only get bookings through family members her 'business' will soon peter out anyway.

Just say that you don't want to do it. She seems to have no problem pestering you incessently when you clearly don't want to do it, so I don't think you should feel bad just saying no, this is not for me.

Just say that you don't want to do it. She seems to have no problem pestering you incessently when you clearly don't want to do it, so I don't think you should feel bad just saying no, this is not for me.

You have to pay her for the party?!

If it is pampered chef, I wouldn't do it either. It is soo expensive.

None of my firneds would really want to pay those sorts of prices.

I think it's the ingredients I would have to buy. She said she would cook starters, main & dessert.

Everything is expensive!!

I think she; s being a twit - four a month? How the heck will she manage that if she can't get four relatives interested in the first month?

You probably need to apologise for agreeing, say you're sorry to duck out, but you agreed as you felt under huge pressure from her and having seen the products now you don't think you or anyone you know would be able to afford them.

She created this mess and it's down to her to sort it out - passing the buck onto you and others isn't going to help her.

Yanbu.

Be strong. Be assertive. You know you have to say No to her.

agree with flight

i have stopped going to these sorts of things, as i cannot buy a lipstick/ lemon squeezer etc.. just because a friend is hosting it. i hate feeling obliged to buy something.

not your fault she cannot drum up enough interest

it is not your responsibility

what will she do when she has run out of friends and family to badger??

These parties are an absolute farce. I'd have said no straight away but you can still change your mind and say a clear no - don't give a silly excuse as she'll talk you round it.

I went to a body shop party and felt embarrassed into buying 20 quids worth of stuff I didn't want out of pity for the girl selling it.

Never again. If the products were any good, they'd sell themselves and wouldn't need 'demonstrators'.

Avoid, avoid, avoid.

Shame about the negativity on this posting - these parties can be fun - I'd never done one or been to one until last week and had a right laugh as well as raised about £200 for a fab charity.

But if you don't fancy it, don't do it and bow out by saying no. If she's going to do it as a business that's up to her not you.

But don't give up on 'parties' altogether. The premise that if the products were any good they wouldn't need demonstrating is not altogether true - surely if a product was any good, it wouldn't need advertising but look at Tesco, Asda, Coca Cola, M&S etc etc etc - all spend an absolute fortune on advertising whilst P Chef and all the other party direct selling companies do their 'advertising' through parties.

tell her to fuck off Just say no. She's the one messing you about. Tell her you don't have enough time/money

why are you dredging up such an old thread? are you a party host per chance?!