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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think a 'qualified Nanny' should know how to fit a carseat?

43 replies

IneedAbetterNickname · 16/05/2009 23:22

My SIL is, as she quite frequently likes to tell me, a qualified nanny. I have 2 children, who are 4 1/2 and 2 1/2. She has 2 boys who are 2years 2months, and 3 months old. Ever since I had DS1 she has criticised, told me I do things 'wrong' and that she should know because she has a childcare qualification and I don't!

The 'worst' (I think thats the word I want) criticism she ever made, was telling my partner (her brother) that I was putting the baby car seat in wrong. By baby I mean rear-facing. I put in it the car with the handle up, where it would be to carry it, as per the instructions. She then told DP that I was 'risking' our son's life as the handle should be down. She told him not me, as she 'knew I was touchy and would get upset'. Anyway, I then checked online,in the instruction book, and in the shop where we bought it, and confirmed that I was correct. I showed SIL the instructions, and she told me they were wrong (because Graco don't know how to fit there own carseats )

Anyway, her baby carseat doesn't fit in her husbands car, so she had to buy a new one just after DN2 was born, and they have one in each car. The new one she has bought is a Graco one, and she is STILL fitting it with the handle down, even though I showed her the manual for my DS. I mentioned it the other day in a casual 'Oh have Graco changed the fitting instructions then?' kind of way, and she replied, "No, you have always fitted that seat wrong, you are lucky you never had a crash, the boys would have died!"

AIBU to think that as a 'qualified nanny' (which I only mention as she goes on about it all the time) she should know how to correctly fit car seats, especially as they come with instructions!?

OP posts:
Original poster
IneedAbetterNickname · 16/05/2009 23:53

She did train about that long ago yes, but the carseat in question isn't isofix, and is still handle up. I also lent it to my Uncle, and he understood the instructions to mean handle up, where I had it too.

OP posts:
bosch · 16/05/2009 23:54

excellent ineedabetternickname.

Hold you fire, you'll get her one day with her supercilious 'I know better than god' attitude and you'll feel so smug for having bided your time!

Original poster
IneedAbetterNickname · 16/05/2009 23:55

Sorry bosch, I dont understand your last post can you explain it to me please? Thanks

OP posts:
CherryChoc · 17/05/2009 00:20

Actually I'm confused about this. The carseat we have (Mothercare) says handle up in the instructions. And I remember the shop assistant explaining why - it's because if the front passenger seat is pushed into the back of the carseat, it gets pushed up towards the back of the seat and the handle stops the baby suffocating in the seat.

But then more recently I saw on a US website someone saying that putting the handle up is really dangerous. I was going to ask why but it was an old post by the time I read it - does anyone know why it is?

FAQinglovely · 17/05/2009 00:21

Cherry - apparently if the carseat does become dislodged from the seat belt the seat them becomes a flying object in the car - posiing a risk to other passengers if the handle is up well that's what I read on a few websites earlier anyhow

KathyBrown · 17/05/2009 00:26

If you had a car seat with a 10kg baby in it flying around the car then again the bloody handle is the least of your worries.

bronze · 17/05/2009 00:31

mothercare own and britax one I have are both up. It was described as working like a min roll cage when I spoke to britax on the phone about something else

bronze · 17/05/2009 00:34

If you look on the britax site theyre all up

KingCanuteIAm · 17/05/2009 00:59

I have had a car seat that required the handle down behind the head (so along the sides then round the top of the seat), another one that required the handle put all the way down so the handle was pushed into the car seat at the bottom and lifted the baby seat up off the car seat at the front and finally a seat that required the handle to be all the way up as the op describes.

There are loads of different makes and loads of different ways to do things, as long as you follow the manufacturers instructions then you should be fine.

Op, your SIL sounds like the sort of person I would end up chinning so I am very impressed that you have managed to make it this far with just a passing comment - well done - and YANBU!

hobbgoblin · 17/05/2009 01:06

God what a Narcissist! Moat car seats I've used as a Nanny or parent have been handle up, but not all.

She sounds freakish though , sorry. Clearly this isn't just about the car seat but her weird need to be right and expert on matters.

Verity79 · 17/05/2009 08:18

Cherry Choc - The handles of baby buckets didn't used to be reinforced and were just for carrying so in a crash they couldn't take the forces in play on them so would fracture showering baby with plastic shards. If the handle was in the down position then the handle would shatter behind the baby. However people din't read the instructions so left the handles up all the time, posing a risk to the child in even minor crashes.

Now as the handles tend to be reinforced they can be left up in the car if allowed by the manufacturer. Though if the instructions say down then down it must go.

SoupDragon · 17/05/2009 08:34

I have had 2 Graco ones and both have been handle up so that the handle impacts with the rear seat in the event of a crash rather than your baby's head. They were not Isofix.

CherryChoc · 17/05/2009 09:15

Ah Verity that makes sense, thanks.

magicOC · 17/05/2009 09:28

She is right as far as the particular one she might be used too, but, designs DO change and as a proffessional she should know this.

I am a proffessional nanny (20yrs) and even I live and learn every day. I would be very concerned about having someone with her attitude looking after my child, safety is a no.1 priority. Years ago we were told to lay babies on their front while asleep.......

loveigglypiggly · 17/05/2009 09:46

Maxi cosi carbiofix is handle up!

She sounds really hard work!

loveigglypiggly · 17/05/2009 09:47

Forgot to say the handle up on the Maxi cosi forms a roll bar effect.

chegirl · 17/05/2009 18:47

The new car seats are up (I think). I have an old car so only one seat would fit, one with the handle down. This was deff the case with my older kids' carseats (17, 15yrs). Apparently the seatbelts are longer in new cars.

Peed me right off because I had to have a really boring grey carseat YUK.

Blondeshavemorefun · 17/05/2009 19:11

tbf there are lots of child car seats about and yes most nannies will know how to put most in

though i have had a few strange ones in my time and will always check the internet

but its always worth checking at local garage/police station that the seat actually fits the car properly as well

but obv follow what the instructions say regarding handle up or down depending on what make

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