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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be mad with dh for spending £88 on a pair of pyjamas?

22 replies

moulesfrites · 16/05/2009 14:22

Ok, so like many other people we are feeling the pinch a little. We are going on holiday in half term and I was worried that we are not going to have enough spending money etc. Anyway, I went to the gym this morning and dh went to do some shopping. He had mentioned that he could do with some new pjs for going away. So he came back with a pair of Ted Baker pjs that cost £88!!! I didn't say anything because he had bought them with his own money, not joint account, but he saw my face when I saw the price tag and then kept asking me what was wrong. So eventually I told him I thought it was excessive - I wouldn't have had a problem if it had been on actual clothes, but pyjamas! He made the point that he once bought me some very expensive silk pjs as a gift, but they were a gift and that was long ago when we actually had spare cash. My normal pjs are £15 -20 from M and S. Please help me to get some perspective here. Now we are not really speaking and he has huffily said he will return them, but now I feel rotten that I have dictated to him how he can spend his money.

OP posts:
Lizzylou · 16/05/2009 14:24

YANBU, that is so expensive for a pair of PJ's!
Fair enough if you can afford it, but if you're tightening your belt then only fair to expect him to do the same.....

KerryMumbles · 16/05/2009 14:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mylifemykids · 16/05/2009 14:31

£15-£20 for a pair of PJ's is extortionate to me as well!

Where is your spending money for the holiday coming from? Joint account or yours/his account?

Seriously though, £88 for a pair of PJ's?!!

FabulousBakerGirl · 16/05/2009 14:32

Does the money he has spent from his own account mean you will go without something else?

Does he spend this much often?

Cut him some slack imo.

moulesfrites · 16/05/2009 14:32

Spending money will be from Joint account. But I actually pay in more to that than he does, as I earn slightly more.

OP posts:
EyeballsisonaDietAgain · 16/05/2009 14:34

His money I suppose but £88 for pyjamas?? Oh well, fool and his money and all that

Overmydeadbody · 16/05/2009 14:34

£88 is a waste of money for something he's only ever going to sweat and fart in.

EarlyAdopter · 16/05/2009 14:34

i cant see any on the website

moulesfrites · 16/05/2009 14:35

We have both been cutting back tbh. I haven't bought myself new clothes in months, and although I feel I could do with a few new things to go away, I decided I would just have to make do.

What is the MN consensus on what is a reasonable amount to spend on PJs then? Where would you get yours mlmk?

OP posts:
terramum · 16/05/2009 14:37

Unless he is spending money that should be going on bills or essentials then YABU....although I don't really understand why couples have separate accounts (unless one is used for a business). We have one joint account and all monies are ours and we don't spend it unless we both agree. If there is spare money then treats and splurges are fine.

alicet · 16/05/2009 14:42

If it is his money I think YABVVU - it is up to him what he spends it on. Surely this is the reason you have a joint account and sole accounts (as do we) so that you can choose exactly how you spend your money without haveing to justify it to your partner. So I wouldn't spend that on pj's and neither would you but its none of your business! Entirely irrellevant that you haven't bought clothes for ages - that too is your choice - presume you are spending your money on something else that you have chosen instead.

If he had bought them on the joint account you would have big grounds for being pissed off. If he was racking up loads of debt that might impact on you as a couple to buy them on a credit card you would also have grounds for complaint. But he didn't. End of.

Btard · 16/05/2009 14:43

Message deleted

LaurieFairyCake · 16/05/2009 14:44

Bite your tongue and apologise. If you have decided that you have a joint account which is fairly done and a separate account for luxuries for each other let each other get on with it.

We don't have this system but I would be very pissed off if I came home with a Rigby and Peller bra which cost that much and he made a cats bum face about it. I would love that bra and have giant norks so it would be the only bra that would fit properly.

If he loves his pj's you should say 'those are nice, glad you like them'. Tis no different than if he came home with a dozen games bought with his money.

Blondeshavemorefun · 16/05/2009 14:45

yabu as it is his money

i assume you both have a joint account and then a sole account (like dh and i do)

what he spends his money on is up to him

HappyMummyOfOne · 16/05/2009 15:17

YABU if he used his own spending money, I wouldnt be pleased if DH moaned about what I bought.

seriouscase · 16/05/2009 15:18

I get the point that it is his money but I do think YANBU because that is a disproportionate amount of money to spend on pyjamas.
But DH spends nil on them as he doesn't wear them .
Treat yourself to something!

MsMaggieBeauregarde · 16/05/2009 15:20

His 'own' money. That's all very well so long as you have your own money too. Do you?

If you can spend your own money on a treat you like too without somebody saying 'ow much!!!???? then it's fair.

If you don't also have the same chance then it's not right.

loopylil · 16/05/2009 15:22

hugely expensive but its his money presumably he worked for it its your fault if you spent just 15 quid on m&s next time you'll know better and splash out yourself be pleased you haven't got a skinflint for a partner
silly row apologise for being jealous of his splurge and start speaking again really not worth it watch the news or read a paper for some perspective

hatwoman · 16/05/2009 15:30

agree with the others - as long as the his money/your money thing is done fairly - and he's not going to be whinging about running out at the end of the month and cadging from you/the joint account - then you can't really complain. you can take the piss out of him for wasting stupid amounts of money on pyjamas though.

violethill · 16/05/2009 15:37

YABU - you shouldn't try to control what he spends his own money on.

If it's a gorgeous pair of pjs which last him years, then it's money well spent in a way. Some people would prefer to buy bottles of wine, or chocolate or a new handbag.... horses for course.

juneybean · 16/05/2009 18:17

Take him to Peacocks, they have jarmies for £4.

MoominMymbleandMy · 16/05/2009 18:29

I think he's bonkers but if the arrangement is that you each have your own spending money it is his choice. But only if you have the same degree of licence with your spending money.

You could tell him you'll feel wary about ripping such an expensive pair off him in the throes of passion!

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