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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be a tad miffed with DP's brother - I know I probably am!!

11 replies

macdoodle · 15/05/2009 22:37

DP of 6 months, all going really well, he is very close to his 2 brothers, who I am yet to meet being they live miles away!
Am going up to Scotland with him next weekend for 3 nights, so we can go to a wedding, we are staying overnight at the wedding venue, but have 2 nights in Glasgow!
His eldest brother will actually be away on holiday so I wont meet him, but DP asked him if we could stay in their house (he is married, DP gets on well with his SIL, no kids), to save getting a hotel and just generally easier.
His brother has said he would rather not and would prefer if we made other arrangements, which is fine and we will get a hotel no prob which will probably be nicer!

Now I know that I probably wouldnt want a stranger in my house when I am not there, so I kinda know IABU.
On the other hand I know if it was my sister that I had asked for a similar favour, she wouldnt have hesitated even if she hadnt met DP, she would trust I wouldnt let someone wreck her house.

oh I know IABU, but I cant help wondering what exactly he thinks we will do, or get up to, or behave that he has said no I am a 38 year old GP with 2 children, I am hardly going to have a house party and wreck the joint, cant help but feel a tad insulted !

OP posts:

pinkstarfish · 15/05/2009 22:40

I can see why you feel a bit miffed, but I guess at the end of the day, it is his choice. Maybe bring it up with your DP to see if there's maybe more to it?

Hope you have a nice trip away all the same, hey, at least you won't after to tidy up before you leave if you stay in a hotel!

blondie80 · 15/05/2009 22:40

i'm with you, i or my family wouldn't mind letting anyone stay if we where there or not.

some families are just, not as close, plain
weird.

don't take it to heart.

VinegarTits · 15/05/2009 22:45

Hmmm he does sound a bit anal, maybe its just the way he is, or he may have other reasons why he said no, might not have anything to do with you being a stranger to him

bosch · 15/05/2009 22:46

not sure that you abu. Just remember to take the moral highground if they need to use your home in future...

Could dp's brother be annoyed that his brother/your dp hasn't made the effort to bring you up to meet him? Not reasonable either but possible explanation for lack of brotherly love...

Original poster

macdoodle · 15/05/2009 22:46

oh well DP just looking for a nice hotel, you are right I wont have to clean up make the beds or be on tenterhooks worrying they will wonder what we did ;)

OP posts:

BananaFruitBat · 15/05/2009 22:49

I wouldn't let anyone stay in my house. I'd have to clean it properly. That would take months!

Hassled · 15/05/2009 22:49

I'd feel really funny about other people, whether I knew them or not, using our house in our absence. Not a reflection on other people, more a refelection on me - so don't take it personally.

Original poster

macdoodle · 15/05/2009 22:50

Well its more down to me I havent been up yet, I have 2 DD's youngest only 16 months so babysitters overnight a problem, have roped my mum and sister in for this visit, but they both have to travel, dsis leaving her DH and mum her beloved cats so not so easy!

I was already worried what they thought of the baby brother seeing a not quite divorced mum of 2 who lives a long way away, and my paranoia is now gone into overdrive!

OP posts:

NeedCoffee · 15/05/2009 22:59

awh, can understand you feeling a bit put out, but i'm sure he has his reason. Get a lovely hotel(-have a look on laterooms, or travellodge have got a sale on) and have a fab weekend away with DP

hereidrawtheline · 15/05/2009 23:04

I can understand why you feel insecure about it - he cant possibly think you will trash the place it must be something else.

I dont know how many bedrooms his house has but I feel sick thinking of anyone other than me, DH and DS sleeping in my bed. I would grit my teeth and let very very very very close people if I absolutely had to but I would secretly hate it. My bed is just so personal to me. I do however have a double sized futon for the odd guest in our conservatory, we dont have a spare room.

Servalan · 15/05/2009 23:06

I wouldn't like someone staying at my house if I was away with DH and DD, now matter how well I knew them or how much I loved them.

It's not a case of whether people wreck the house. It is just a privacy issue and feeling that my home is my own special place. Also, I'm with BananaFruitBat on the cleaning thing

I know this is probably daft, because I don't think family or friends would go a-snooping or anything. The thought of it gives me the heeby-geebies though - just a wierdy gut territorial thing I guess

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