to be a tad miffed with DP's brother - I know I probably am!!

[macdoodle]

DP of 6 months, all going really well, he is very close to his 2 brothers, who I am yet to meet being they live miles away!
Am going up to Scotland with him next weekend for 3 nights, so we can go to a wedding, we are staying overnight at the wedding venue, but have 2 nights in Glasgow!
His eldest brother will actually be away on holiday so I wont meet him, but DP asked him if we could stay in their house (he is married, DP gets on well with his SIL, no kids), to save getting a hotel and just generally easier.
His brother has said he would rather not and would prefer if we made other arrangements, which is fine and we will get a hotel no prob which will probably be nicer!

Now I know that I probably wouldnt want a stranger in my house when I am not there, so I kinda know IABU.
On the other hand I know if it was my sister that I had asked for a similar favour, she wouldnt have hesitated even if she hadnt met DP, she would trust I wouldnt let someone wreck her house.

oh I know IABU, but I cant help wondering what exactly he thinks we will do, or get up to, or behave that he has said no I am a 38 year old GP with 2 children, I am hardly going to have a house party and wreck the joint, cant help but feel a tad insulted !

I can see why you feel a bit miffed, but I guess at the end of the day, it is his choice. Maybe bring it up with your DP to see if there's maybe more to it?

Hope you have a nice trip away all the same, hey, at least you won't after to tidy up before you leave if you stay in a hotel!

i'm with you, i or my family wouldn't mind letting anyone stay if we where there or not.

some families are just, not as close, plain
weird.

don't take it to heart.

Hmmm he does sound a bit anal, maybe its just the way he is, or he may have other reasons why he said no, might not have anything to do with you being a stranger to him

not sure that you abu. Just remember to take the moral highground if they need to use your home in future...

Could dp's brother be annoyed that his brother/your dp hasn't made the effort to bring you up to meet him? Not reasonable either but possible explanation for lack of brotherly love...

oh well DP just looking for a nice hotel, you are right I wont have to clean up make the beds or be on tenterhooks worrying they will wonder what we did ;)

I wouldn't let anyone stay in my house. I'd have to clean it properly. That would take months!

I'd feel really funny about other people, whether I knew them or not, using our house in our absence. Not a reflection on other people, more a refelection on me - so don't take it personally.

Well its more down to me I havent been up yet, I have 2 DD's youngest only 16 months so babysitters overnight a problem, have roped my mum and sister in for this visit, but they both have to travel, dsis leaving her DH and mum her beloved cats so not so easy!

I was already worried what they thought of the baby brother seeing a not quite divorced mum of 2 who lives a long way away, and my paranoia is now gone into overdrive!

awh, can understand you feeling a bit put out, but i'm sure he has his reason. Get a lovely hotel(-have a look on laterooms, or travellodge have got a sale on) and have a fab weekend away with DP

I can understand why you feel insecure about it - he cant possibly think you will trash the place it must be something else.

I dont know how many bedrooms his house has but I feel sick thinking of anyone other than me, DH and DS sleeping in my bed. I would grit my teeth and let very very very very close people if I absolutely had to but I would secretly hate it. My bed is just so personal to me. I do however have a double sized futon for the odd guest in our conservatory, we dont have a spare room.

I wouldn't like someone staying at my house if I was away with DH and DD, now matter how well I knew them or how much I loved them.

It's not a case of whether people wreck the house. It is just a privacy issue and feeling that my home is my own special place. Also, I'm with BananaFruitBat on the cleaning thing

I know this is probably daft, because I don't think family or friends would go a-snooping or anything. The thought of it gives me the heeby-geebies though - just a wierdy gut territorial thing I guess