To be just a touch disappointed that my friend doesnt know my 'style'

[StripeyOss]

Just opened my prezzie my BF sent me in the post this morning.. and once again she's sent me jewellery and its something i wouldnt pick for myself/wear.

Now.. please dont think i'm ungrateful because i'm not.. i love the fact that she always thinks of me and spends her money on something for me for xmas/birthday.. but i feel she's also wasting her money because she's not yet managed to pick something i would wear.

I love her to bits and would LOVE to be able to see her wearing something she's bought me with pride... but i cant.

Argh! I dont get it.. we're both very similar style wise (gothic), i'm really not THAT hard to buy for.

*see her WHILE wearing something

YABU, at least she's making an effort, if i thought someone i cared about was slating my efforts on the net i'd be devistated.

maybe she's trying to tell you to change your sense of style

sell it/exchange it/ give it away whatever but for crying out loud say thank you with good grace and stop wasting time being disappointed over it and take it as the nice gesture it was meant as

but you are ungrateful,you arent receiving it gracefully.you are compalining about the gift and overlooking the kind sentimant

next time ask for vouchers

yes, but wouldnt you also like to know you're picking something they actually liked?

I hate that she's buying me stuff that is essentially just going to dust gather until i throw it away the next time i sort through my jewellery box.

oh good grief.. of COURSE i accept it graciously, and always find something nice to say about whatever it is.. i just think its such a bloody shame she's taken the time and effort and hard earned cash and its not going to get worn.

my dh buys me stuff I wouldn't pick all the time, I live with him, he sees what I buy for myself/how I dress the kids etc etc

it STILL means something to me and will do for a long time

or just be explicit about what you want or ask for vouchers

scottishmummy.. i cant because i dont like asking for presents, i'd be happy with just a phonecall to wish me Happy Birthday.. if i say, 'get me this/that/vouchers" it sounds like i'm expecting something from her and i'd never do that!

I think YANBU to be disappointed, It happens to all of us. Many times I have received something and appreciated the sentiment but it is not something I can use and it is a shame and a waste really.

But I think it is often very difficult to shop for others, I really struggle when buying presents because I sometimes have no idea what people will like, even when they are people I know really well.

Oh I know where you're coming from here. My mil has known me nearly 20 years and buys me things that completely bemuse me.

I always accept gracefully of course, but it does puzzle me. I wear quite plain things, and yet some presents have been really the total opposite.

I think sometimes people, with the nicest intentions, do give presents that they would love. If you or they have a very definate 'style' it can be hard to live with it. It is a shame because the item just gets put to the back of a drawer.

Or worse - if you wear it to be polite, they give you more next time!

the woman who got knicker elastic from her MIL needs to come on here

I get annoyed because I spend so much time finding DH the perfect gift and I think he wanders into a shop he likes and either takes the first thing he sees OR takes advice off 50yr old salewoman who's just trying to shift something thats been sitting for years

at least he goes though and thats an improvement

I do understand but it is my Mum who just doesnt get me.

I dont 'do' ornaments at all as they gather dust/clutter/too much to look at etc etc.

I also dont 'do' rodents - long scary tails and scurrying feet

and yet she thought she had found me a perfect gift.

A fake mouse on a fake loaf of bread with lots of fake poppies/flowers around it.

Truly hideous.

I think I 'lost' it in a house move.

my MIL bought me a playboy/bunny handbag - am not sure how to take that at all

My mil bought me a hat one Christmas. A proper hat, not a wooly one.

Apart from the fact that I never wear formal hats, how do you choose a hat like that for someone anyway?? It's made me laugh for years that has

Tsar - ever get the feeling you're getting recycled gifts ?!? Its certainly what I've come to think

YANBU. You don't sound ungracious, you sound nice.

Is there any chance you could tell her that the jewellery doesn't suit you, i.e. it's too chunky for your bone structure/too short for your neck/draws attention to a disliked body part, so you could blame it on that not on your friends style? And ask for the receipt? Or that you could both go back and exchange it together?

I get where you're coming from - I have a few gift bits of jewellry that I just don't wear and they do make me feel awful, more because I feel I'm letting down the person who gave me the gift!

Do you go shopping together? I find it a lot easier to buy for people once I've been out shopping with them a couple of times and seen what they pick up, maybe your friend would be the same?

I think Thebolter is taliking sense.

GossipMonger - that sounds like the most awful...thing ever. Wtf is the point of it?!

Maybe...I'm not sure though in my mil's case. She would actually buy it I think; she's not adverse to spending a few quid.

I actually quietly took one thing back once (awful cardi) because I knew it came from M&S and was that it had cost her so much. Then I felt awful for not liking it. Aargh!