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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have expected at least 1 or two things for mummy to have come home from nursery after a year of being there???

52 replies

tryingtobemarypoppins · 14/05/2009 09:36

Perhaps a painting or a card, Christmas decoration????? DS is 17 months now. AIBU??? I am about to fill in nursery questionnaire and want to add this.

Also despite getting an outstanding OFSTED all their desplays are soooooooo dull, just a few photos of babies slepping, or eating. Where are the exciting giant nusery rhyme characters or hundreds of colourful handprints????

AIBU about that too???

OP posts:
LoveRain · 14/05/2009 11:39

Why do you want to display on your fridge something made by the nursery's staff???? (in order for the nursery to tick the box). Or even worst something that your toddler was forced to make (again, in order for the nursery to tick the box)?

mylifemykids · 14/05/2009 11:42

My DS is 4 and loves painting and making things. I know for a fact when they were making 'vehicles' as a tick box task he made a FANTASTIC rocket. It had tissue paper fire coming out of the back and everything...I have no idea where it disappeared to because it never came home. I was going to hang it from DS's ceiling in his bedroom!!

That poem IS lovely but surely just the occassional work of art wouldn't hurt!!

jeee · 14/05/2009 11:47

At least 90% of my DCs artwork gets binned as soon as it gets home. And just wait until they start school and junk modelling. Never laugh at another child's junk modelling, because it's certain your child will exit their classroom brandishing an even bigger junk model.

ShouldDoMoreExcercise · 14/05/2009 11:52

I can understand your puzzlement, because if they have been doing craft, you would expect it to come home. Maybe you should ask what happens to the Picasso copies your child does.

But open this can of worms at your peril! My house now looks like an art gallery, we have to try to sneakily take them down when DD isn't looking! We have a strong carrier bag which we put most of the pictures into, that way she doesn't feel like we are binning them, but we don't have to look at them all the time!

LoveRain · 14/05/2009 11:52

Oh and the times that we mixed them up and a toddler took home someone else's painting! Of course i bet his mum was very proud

Sunshinemummy · 14/05/2009 11:55

I would be puzzled too. DD is only 8 months and we've had birthday cards for me and DP and Easter cards from her so far. I know they did her feet and hands last week too as she had bright pink paint in between her toes!

missorinoco · 14/05/2009 11:55

I think it would be worth mentioning it in the questionnaire.

Ds is now nearly two and brings home his "artwork" every few days, which usually gets binned.

It seems to be done as part of an activity rather than for us, except for at times like Mother's Day, etc, when he makes, in the loosest sense of the word a card for us.

It may be that they are chucking the artwork and hadn't thought about sending it home. [optimistic emoticum].

But definitely put it on the questionnaire. That's the point of them.

laweaselmys · 14/05/2009 11:57

Are you sure they even do craft?

I do get the point of the poem - but things like pencils pens paint etc should be on offer to them very regularly (whether this DS chooses engage in it or not) because it helps them develop the gross motor skills they will need to hold a pencil and write. Just as important as all the other things he is learning from other kinds of play.

Surely if they offered it there would be something on the walls that other DC had done at the very least?

Morloth · 14/05/2009 12:32

Count yourself lucky. Perhaps the staff have realised that it drives most parents absolutely fucking BONKERS.

I recently filled up 2 LARGE GARBAGE bags with paper/artwork that DS had brought home - he is 5. Now I have guilt. Most of it is scribbles.

I got caught trying to dispose of the "volcano" that really just looks like a great big POO. Now it has to stay on the bookshelf in the lounge room so he can see it everyday and I don't chuck it.

ruddynorah · 14/05/2009 12:39

oh goodnes come to ours. for mothers day dd made me a biscuit, a bookmark in a flower shape, a photo frame and a card. i think they were trying to make sure every kid made something, no matter what day they were in, so dd managed to make so much cos she was there 4 sessions.

easter she came home with a decorated egg, a painted butterfly, a chocolate nest cake with mini eggs and an easter card with pic on of her painting the egg...phewph..!!!

i only keep cards

PolkaDotRachel · 14/05/2009 12:53

My LO is 11 months and has been at a private nursery since January and we regularly get some random scribbles come home.

We also got an Easter biscuit and card, a mother's day card with hand prints and they also take photos of him playing during the day and stick them in his little diary (which comes home at the end of each day).

They must have a photo printer or something coz they're brilliant quality and I love it! It really makes me feel part of his day!

And he only goes 1 day a week normally so I would be a bit if you get nothing?!

The nursery is beautiful and there are photos, drawings everywhere. They even send a letter home the other week asking for photos to be brought in from home to add to the display. Maybe suggest this in the questionaire - I'm sure they wouldn't mind constructive comments?

Steamrunner · 14/05/2009 13:04

my boy goes to childminder he has brung home some snake skin from "speedy" the snake, some biscuits he cooked, a snail made from clay, a birthday card for me, glitter pictures, many,many differnt illnesses, some "flowers" made from like pipecleaners n egg box bits n paper for the leaves in a pvc cup like what you get drinks from vend machines in for the plant pot, some boiled eggs all decorated up, a model chicken with real bwuck-bwuck sound effects and a collage made from paper and feathers and that seems to be showing selected extracts from the Bayeux Tapestry. Hell of a first day, I can't wait to see what he bings tomorrow!

katiestar · 14/05/2009 13:58

i wonder what you think a baby of 8m gets out of having his foot painted positioned on a piece of card and then wahed and dried again ?

Smithagain · 14/05/2009 14:16

Well, when we painted DD1's feet aged about five months (to make Christmas presents for grandparents), she had a whale of a time, squishing her feet in the paint, giggling and the tickly brush and enjoying having our undivided attention.

At 17 months, they are a bit young to be producing heaps of artwork, but not too young to be experimenting with messy stuff if they enjoy it.

I'd be inclined to mention it (but not demand artistic output every day). And I'd be more inclined to mention the dull displays. Our local children's centre has fantastic displays, including in the baby room, with up to date photos of what the children are doing, lots of interesting things to look at, different colours, mirrors etc. It makes the whole place feel so loved.

EachPeachPearMum · 14/05/2009 14:22

The tickling sensation of paint being put on a foot with a brush, or stamping your foot into squidgey paint, then onto paper. Seeing cause and effect of stepping around with paint on your feet. Seeing the paint in your toes at bathtime, and pointing, because you know its not usually there...

And the standard of art produced by my dd at her nursery is pretty convincing that no staff member produced it! the number of sheets with just 1 brushstroke, or whatever- and the fact that the stuff was identical to what she produced at home with DH was a pretty good indicator that she'd done it herself.

Haylstones · 14/05/2009 14:30

My ds hasn't brought anything home yet (he's 15 months) but I know they display the work for a while before sending it home or waiting until they move up to the next group.
However, this is fine by me as dd is 5 and I am overwhelmed by paintings lovingly created by her at nursery, playgroup and now school. I thought she was now mature enough to understand that I can't possibly keep EVERYTHING she does and sometimes I have to recyvle the older pictures and thought she'd understood until she came home from school with a painting- message on the back 'mum please keep this forever'. The guilt- what must the teacher think!! Sometimes she finds picturesin the recycling box and picks them out and I blame dh

Fledge · 14/05/2009 14:36

Would be nice to think parents were remembered whilst children at Nursery... motherind sunday card... father's day card....

Isn't that what that CBeebies TV Show "Me too" encourages us to hope for?

LoveRain · 14/05/2009 15:07

EachPeach Obviously the staff will not produce 'proper' art work but one brushstroke, enough to keep naive parents happy . Can you tell i have worked 8 years in Nurseries?

Original poster
tryingtobemarypoppins · 14/05/2009 19:37

Loverain, as a teacher I totally understand what you are saying and I am not naive. What I am saying is that where does their mark making go??? Parents should celebrate their children's play and it improves home/nursery links.

OP posts:
LoveRain · 14/05/2009 19:49

sorry OP the 'naive' comment was not for you. Was for EachPeach because her post was a bit ... erm naive . I can see what you are saying but honestly don't take all this 'art sessions at nursery' too seriously and don't listen to proud mums who claim that their babies are becoming Picassos thanks to the fab -expensive- nursery.If you are happy about everything else i wouldn't worry about this. In fact i would be happy because i wouldn't like my baby to be forced to do something when not in mood. I prefer to 'do painting' on weekend when and if he is in mood.

Original poster
tryingtobemarypoppins · 14/05/2009 19:54

Thanks Loverain. I do want to raise the displays with them though. A wall of messy art floor to ceiling would be great not photos of babies sleeping!How could I put this in the questionniare without them thinking bad of me?!!

OP posts:
Lizzzombie · 14/05/2009 19:58

OP - Are you sure there is not a little draw somewhere with your DS's name on it which you are unaware of, and its packed full of things which you should have taken home, and all the staff think you are terrible for not collecting it, but really you just haven't been told about it?
My DS's nursery has a 'quota' of artworks/cooking which need to be taken home each week depending on how many hours the child does. I am sure he doesn't do most of the artwork produced, but I always melt when I find handprints or footprints, as I know they are his as the paint is still down his fingernails.

EachPeachPearMum · 14/05/2009 21:07

Naive in what way?
If you read my post I specifically said my dd's work was very basic. At 3.3 she is just about beginning to be representational. The work she brings home from nursery is identical in skill and content (mainly "fireworks") to that produced at home.
I wander into her nursery at all hours of the day, as my working day is very variable. I see children doing art and craft frequently- they are definitely doing it themselves, and having a whale of a time- they are certainly never made to take part in anything they don't want to do.
That coupled with the fact that my dd cannot stop talking is very verbose, and goes into extreme detail about everything she has done each day leads me to repeat my assertion that the work brought home is not produced by staff.

WriggleJiggle · 15/05/2009 20:11

The nursery dd went to was very into 'messy play' and the process being more than the outcome. She didn't often bring artwork home (how can you bring a tray of swirled sand or mounds of soggy pasta home? )

They did used to send home lots and lots of photos though showing the 'making' that was going on, which I thought was a great idea.

fucksticks · 15/05/2009 20:35

DS is 3.5yrs. He's been to private nursery and now goes to school nursery.
He very very rarely brings home any art work. I still have a picture on my fridge dated a year and a half ago, which shows how little he does as theres nothing to replace it yet!
All the other kids have piles of the stuff by their pegs when I collect him, he just hates crafty stuff, really hates it.
I'm glad they let him get on with the stuff that he does enjoy, and although they ask and encourage him to join in, they dont force him.
Maybe your DD doesnt like painting?