Kids being kids?

6 replies

Boys2mam · 13/05/2009 20:40

Ok, so my DS (5) goes to school with my friends DS (also 5). We live 6 doors apart, the boys are in the same class and spend some, but not all, of their after school time playing together. My friend and I take turns taking them to school and picking them up so they are together from approx 8.30 - 3.30, Monday to Friday + any recreational time.

The issue I'm having is that they fight, argue and ignore each other like they are brothers!!! On the way to school and on the way home. Their teacher separated them the first wk of school so they couldn?t disrupt the class (as they can also be so mischievous together) and we are told of any issues that do arise in school time - there are few.

They can be the best of friends then an argument can start at the drop of a hat and I?m lost at how to handle it. I can only think that separating them might be best - take our own to boys to school so they only have the school day together. But is that the answer-passing the buck to the teacher? They love the same things, do get on really well at times and I don?t believe that they can?t be friends outside of the classroom. But the stress with them bickering on is terrible and one or both of them end up upset/annoyed at least once per day.

The trouble is, it's likely to cause strain to my friendship as it looks like I'm being awkward. I drive, she doesn't, so it means she would have to take her son and pick him up every day and its a 20 min walk for her each way.

Soooo, AIBU forcing the boys into spending this extra time together (the to-and-from school) just to keep my friend happy? God it sounds so petty written down!!

Thanks

OP posts:

BiscuitStuffer · 13/05/2009 20:44

I think that learning to rub along together is an important lesson in life BUT if the bottom line is that they actually don't like each other more than they do, then it seems unfair to force the situation during the vulnerable times of their day - ie. just got up / tired at the end of the day. Your call though. You must do what is right for your son, NOT your friend. Your son comes first.

RumourOfAHurricane · 13/05/2009 20:45

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BananaFruitBat · 13/05/2009 20:51

DS and his friend do this, usually on the way home. Halfway home and it's tears and shouting because of something someone did/didn't/might have said. By the time we get home (our house is first) the two are yelling BYE to each other across the road. The neighbours must love us. Even if they don't make up you can bet your ass that DS's friend will be running down our drivway at 8:35 in the morning to call for him.

I think it's actually quite normal!

Original poster

Boys2mam · 13/05/2009 21:08

Thanks ladies, you echoed my more rational thoughts - the one about them rubbing along together Biscuit is exactly why I thought I was being flaky about separating them but my DS came home in tears tonight so I was a bit . Not that he's angel mind but he's my angel

My friend and I have discussed this at length and I think the "rules" (which we have tried before, and they do work for a time) need to be more forcefully presented to the boys!!

OP posts:

thisisyesterday · 13/05/2009 21:14

i would try instigating more rules first and see if you can get it to stop.

if not then you shouldn't feel at all obliged to do the school run with both kids if it is upsetting your son.
it's a shame the other mum doesn't drive, but that's life! if your son didn't go to that school or she wasn't friends with you she'd just have to walk anyway wouldn't she?
so unless she chose that school specifically because you said you'd drive him then she'd be hard-pressed to be upset about you not doing it

do what's best for YOUR child.

ChippingIn · 13/05/2009 21:19

Boys2mam - I think it's great that your son has a mate that is like a brother - that kind of relationship is invaluable in life.

I think the best strategy is ignore, ignore, ignore - they will find their own way through it. The only time I'd interfere is if they are complaining to you, then it's a swift - anymore of that and x goes to his own house as soon as we get home. If it continues then threaten to take them/bring them home separately and no playing together.... they'll soon sort it out! If after a week or so of this, it turns out they are happier this way then so be it. HOWEVER, if it suits you and your friend to share the drop off and collections, then they need telling to behave - end of (but I'm hard and do not tolerate bad behaviour )

Flip