to consider moving ds' nursery because they allowed my mum to collect him without asking her who she was?

[deaconblue]

she had never collected him before but because I was at A and E with dd mum went to collect ds. I told her that there was a photo of her on his file and she should expect to have to show her id too. she arrived, a nursery nurse was coming back into the building and let her straight in. Mum said she was there to collect ds but didn't know where to find him (ie making it clear she had never been before) and the girl showed her straight to his room.
She was able to take him without anyone checking who she was although once he saw her I guess it was clear he knew her.

When I complained the manager claimed the nursery nurse came to find her and she then checked ds' file but mum said there was no one in the office (where files are kept) at any point. He is otherwise perfectly happy but I am horrified as mum could have been anyone and presumably babies who can't verify someone's identity are at even more risk there.
So am I overreacting or is this as awful as I think it is?

See, I think YABVU to put the nursery in this position .
You send someone the nursery don't know ,without informing them.
.Don't you think they might feel kind of awkward and rude by having to challenge her when your DS obviously knows she is grandma.Why didn't you just phone them and say you were being delayed and your mum was picking DS up.

I'm due any day now, so have had to make arrangements for DS to be picked up by MIL for the first time. I have had to supply a picture of her, to go into his file, a password, and also have to ring nursery to let them know that she will be collecting him. As we have a swipe card system for parents to get into nursery, she will have to be let in by a member of staff, and accompanied to his room to collect him. Reading all this back it sounds like he's in a high security prison!!

Katiestar, have you read the thread? The OP explained further in the thread why she couldnt ring ahead. She was in hospital with child.

Sod the nursery feeling awkward or rude. I would rather that then an unknown collecting my child. For example Even if my sons father turned up to collect him I wouldnt expect them to allow him to. He does not know the password and we are not together. They may have seen him at a christmas show but he still isnt a named collector.

while it's perhaps not ideal, I do think a bit of perspective is needed here.

Realistically, how often does it happen that abductors turn up at nurseries to abduct children? If a particular person was strictly not allowed to collect the child then the nursery would surely have been made aware of this, but someone randomly turning up at a nursery to abduct a specific child is highly, highly unlikely, to the point of being neglidgeable.

urseries have only recently been this secure, and this has nothing to do with a spate of random abductions - it has to do with the paranoya perpetuated by the media that there are armies of paedophiles waiting to abduct our children at every possible opportunity. Well there aren't. And while I do think that security is a good thing, as much as for keeping children in as people out, I think one needs to be a bit realistic..

yanbu.

These procedures are put in place to be actively used, not just to look good for the inspectors.

Whatever happened - it was unexpected and they should have contacted you or vice versa before the child was allowed to leave regardless of 'who's on the file'. Bad practice. In school if someone known but unexpected turns up to collect a child, we phone the parent/main carer to check before letting them go.

I think you are overreacting to consider moving him but worth checking procedures are adhered to in future.

WannaBe said it perfectly.

yanbu

i would write a letter stating why you are annoyed

i would also let someone else pick up in a few weeks time and see what they say/happens

maybe the nn let in your mum as she knew your ds was old enough to confirm she was granny - again not professional or within the guidelines of ofsted