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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

End of year/school-school plays

18 replies

tullytwo · 13/05/2009 17:35

Ds1 is leaving primary school in June. Every year the final year put on a school play.

Ds1 went and tried out for a part (was quietly impressed with his confidence as its not a natural thing for him)

Anyway they were all informed today that the 4 main parts have gone to girls-3 of these parts are actually male roles too.

He is very upset and I feel for him and the rest of the boys in his year who seem to feel the same as him.

Surely the main reason to do this play is so that everyone leaving feels a part of it and whether or not they were the very best or not surely they should feel involved..

One of the girls (through no fault of her own) is constantly picked for these kind of things.

AIBU to think the boys in this year have been short changed?

Am going to speak to the teacher tomorrow _not with the intent of changing her mind but just to see whether she realises how left out the boys feel.

OP posts:

bigchris · 13/05/2009 17:37

well if all 3 parts went to boys and only 1 to a girl then the girl's parents would probably complain too
isn't there a chorus or something so everyone is involved?

needanap · 13/05/2009 17:39

I do sometimes feel that these things are taken too seriously. Perhaps the girls were better than the boys but FGS, every kid should be involved! Totally unfair to leave the lads out in this way!

Having said that, if 3 of the main parts went to boys then wouldn't the girls be left out?

Maybe a play should have been chosen with lots of parts so no one felt so left ou.t

Original poster

tullytwo · 13/05/2009 17:40

Yes of course there is a chorus and I am not advocating that all the boys get the main parts but surely and equal representation to make them feel part of it

Boys often struggle to do these kind of activities and to then be told no for every part must make them wonder why they bothered.

This is not about ds1 not getting a prt its about no boys getting any parts.

OP posts:

PrimulaVeris · 13/05/2009 17:43

End of year 6 plays are a chance to relive the agony of nativity plays. Even with choruses etc you always end up with a few main parts and other minor parts (4th Slave in Joseph, anyone?). Parents go in and demand that the y6 teacher reorganise parts. Some go to the Head. Kids complain. Nobody can do anything right.

It's a real PITA but best to just practise that rictus grin every time the play is mentioned

Original poster

tullytwo · 13/05/2009 17:43

Trust me I am not some pushy parent who is tormented that my pfb didnt get a role-its just I often feel that boys get the short end of the stick especially when it comes to things like this and unfortunately the kids do take it seriously

I dont think that all 3 main male roles should automatically go to boys either based just on their sex but surely half and half would have been achievable

OP posts:

Original poster

tullytwo · 13/05/2009 17:45

I dont expect the roles to be re-allocated and I honestly am not bothered that ds1 didnt get a part-just impressed he tried out as I wouldnt have

Its the end of year play and who cares if its crap-its not the west end-and i just think its a shame that the same kids get to feature again and again and a whole section of the year feel left out

Just me then!

OP posts:

needanap · 13/05/2009 17:46

Half and half would have been best, I agree.

Off topic- but not just parents take this too seriously! When DD was in her last year of primary school I couldn't let her go to an evening rehearsal because she was in a show at the time (and the school rehearsal was announced on the day). The teacher called me a 'f*cking bitch'!! School shows can drive you crazy!

cornsilk · 13/05/2009 17:47

At my ds's school the staff's children are always playing a main part. Funny that...

pointydog · 13/05/2009 17:50

The audeince doesn't enjoy it if you can't hear what anyone is saying.

MummyDragon · 13/05/2009 18:08

That's life I'm afraid. Good preparation for when they don't get that dream job or whatever in xxx years' time. That said, YANBU - I would probably feel exactly the same way! (My DS was a camel in his nativity play last year and he stole the show, of course )

ellingwoman · 13/05/2009 18:08

When dd2 was in yr6 the traditional yr6 christmas concert was given over to the drama group which had one yr6 child in it. The rest of yr6 sat on the floor out of sight for the entire show. They reverted back to normal the year after, much to dd2's disgust.

This year with dd3 in yr6 the theme was musicals and each musical featured was entirely made up of male parts and the boys selected for them were from the other yr6 class. All the girls were furious! Dd3 out of sight for the entire show. We're pinning our hopes on catching a glimpse of her at the Leaver's concert next month

Original poster

tullytwo · 13/05/2009 18:14

So I should just say nothing? I feel very aggrieved on behalf of the boys in the year

OP posts:

MummyDragon · 13/05/2009 18:33

If you didn't have a boy, would you still feel aggrieved on behalf of the boys in the year and would you be considering saying something? If the answer to both those questions is a firm Yes, then say something. But it won't change anything and let's face it, the teachers will never be able to please all the parents all the time!

branflake81 · 13/05/2009 18:36

Actually, I do think you sound like a pushy parent, tbh (sorry!)

It's just one of those things and not worth getting in a stress about.

Your DS will have forgotten all about it in a few months' time.

herbietea · 13/05/2009 18:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster

tullytwo · 13/05/2009 19:41

But surely if its just one of those things that no one ever does anything about then the status quo stays the same and nothing changes.

Not sure why I sound like a pushy parent-ds1 is fine about not getting a part-he just enjoyed the audition -the boys as a whole just feel peed off that they havent got a look in.

The play is Oliver too herbietea!-and good point about the lead part!

I know it wont change anything but maybe next year she will bear it in mind-one can only hope

Yes I would feel aggrieved for the boys even if I didnt have one-obviously because I have one I am more aware of how they are feeling.

I gues I dont want to just tell him that its just one of those things as I feel boys get told this a lot-esp at primary school and that someone needs to speak up for them.

OP posts:

gerontius · 15/05/2009 22:55

Why should the teacher have to make sure that everything's "equal"? In plays, people who are good at singing/acting get main roles, people who are less so don't. Otherwise the end result is no good.
If boys were put in parts purely for the reason that they were boys, surely the girls who were better might feel a teensy bit aggrieved?

violethill · 16/05/2009 11:30

Grit your teeth and wait for the day these things are behind you.....

School plays are a minefield - I got sick of watching the same kids in the lead roles, particularly when they weren't even well-cast or the best for the part. Some kids push themselves forward for everything (and they can tend to be the ones who have least self awareness ) and even worse, some parents push their kids forward. Primary school is probably the worst time for it, but it does get better. Once they're doing Drama at exam level, you get some real surprises and kids who were never in the limelight show themselves to be truly good performers, whereas some of those annoying brats who were centre stage at age 10 are crap, because their dramatic skills haven't moved on since age 10!!

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