to be bugged about friend emigrating then returning to England for benefits but moaning ?

[mrsblanc]

Friend emigrated to Australia 4 y ago.

Moaned for most of her life about how awful UK is.
Her dh had a car serious car accident at Christmas ( months in hospital ) then returned a month ago to UK because her dh could not work in Oz but the benefits system there is not v generous.
Now here for the sole purpose of claiming benefits and moaning to anyone who will listen how crap it is to be back in `England.

GRRRRR

AIBU?

Is there any reason she can't get a job, and off benefits?

no YANBU.
Is her DH now disabled then? That can't be easy if he is.

Well she sounds like a right misery guts anyway - has she always been like that? However, on the other hand, life with a disabled partner in a country you don't want to live in can't be much fun: she (and her DP) are going to be dealing with the loss of their future plans, and a life on not much money so it's understandable that she moans.
Still, if you don't need it, and you probably don't, just try to keep contact with her to a minimum if changing the subject every times she gears up to a good howl doesn't work.

she had a job in Oz, he is alive and well ! He is not disabled at all, just a bit scarred and cut up.

I have every sympathy for anyone who gets injured in a car crash ( he was at fault) but surely the attitude should be " we are so lucky we could return home where we would be looked after' ? Not to revert to moaning about the UK

i can see that all her life plans have just been ruined, so perhaps a bit of sympathy is due to her, but (as i heard on the US thread recenlty) some people can make lemonade out of lemons, and it sounds like your 'friend' doesn't know how to do that

actually this is most;y about me getting pissed off at people who moan about the Uk, as if they were not any part in what makes up the uK, iyswim.

yep, i agree with that.
d'ya think she moaned whilst in oz, or does her personality change as the plane lands?

I am someone who could find themselves back in the UK soon. Not willingly, but because dh doesn't like it here & wants to go back to the UK. After almost 3 yrs, he is still not settled.

I am happy here, very happy! I have friends, I have family (well his family, but they are good to me) so I am very very reluctant to leave.

If I went back to the UK I think I would grieve. Grieve for my life here, my friends, my family. Too right the UK would 'suck' because every fibre of my being would be in Australia. It doesn't matter how grateful she should be, all her dreams has just gone. She is returning to a place she never thought she would....that can be a huge shock for someone.

Nevermind someone who finds themself with a recovering dh who can't work. She maybe felling resentful & angry...I say you cut her some slack. Her life has taken a turn that she didn't forsee.

Oh & it maybe that he can't work in his given area anymore & depending on their residential status here (they could have been here on a work visa, that stipulated he must work in his given field to be able to stay) they may have been 'forced' to leave.

I, therefore feel that YABU.