to not welcome my neighbours' kids into the garden...

[asicsgirl]

... every time we go out there?

We recently bought a garden - small plot over the road from our house. No-one on our side of the street has proper back or front gardens (space for a few pots only), though there are small gardens on the other side of the road.

There are quite a few kids on our road and, although they are nice kids, I'm getting a bit depressed that every time I go out there with ds1 and ds2 a bunch of them show up. We've had the garden landscaped to make it safe and I haven't worried too much about the kids coming in while it's been being done, to dig in the soil and muck around. But now I want it for us; I want to be able to invite them in sometimes, and be in it on our own at other times.

So am I just being a selfish cow? I like the fact that the neighbourhood is safe enough for the kids to play out, but I didn't spend all my savings on creating a community garden!

Tell the dc exactly ythat - they will be invited in sometimes but not all the time and they must leave you alone to be able to invite them in.

Children just don't get it, so spell it out really nicely

We have had this I just had to tell them somedays that ds was about to have his dinner or was tired and grumpy so wouldn't be able to play today as I was ushering them out of the gate .

you started a bad habit, letting them all in. You need to be very firm, tell them you are relaxing in peace.

I can see this being a continual problem. Act like a cow.

Comewhine, I've been doing that, but feel a bit crap about lying - and also it means we sometimes have to go in too, when we didn't want to!

This evening I just ignored the boy over the street (too young to run over on his own) who was calling to ds1 to see if he 'needed any help'. I felt really mean though.

Ivykaty, that's the brave option isn't it I'm just worried about souring (so far very nice) neighbourly relations (with the parents rather than the kids!)

Hey, I had some kiddy in the garden problems and telling them off really didn't work. I had to go to the adults, who in this case were my downstairs neighbours, the kids gps, and tell them that it was my garden, the toys were ds toys and that i would prefer them to stay out. It took me ages, to actually say something because at first i felt rotten. But i am sooooo glad i did.

Nip it in the bud (sorry no pun intended).the whole point of your gardenis that it's your private place to relax

thanks for the encouragement. I will have a go!

YANBU - this would really piss me off too.

Be Firm.

If you feel that is the brave ption and are worried about the kids telling mum - then just say sorry you cant come in today as I have a real bad headache and need some peace and quite in the garden and if I let you in then I cant say no to others as it wouldn't be fair. The important bit add "you can come in the garden at the end of next week.

This is the point next week, leave me alone until then

make out you are trying to be fair and need some peace and at the same time hope they will be aloud in sometime

The parents will understand if they are at all normal, you will have to nip it in the bud and subtle never works on kids so...

has it got a gate so you can lock yourselves in there?!

i would put a lock on the inside of the gate that the children cant open themselves. that way they have to ask you to let them in and that gives you the chance to say that you are having some peaceful time in your garden and you will let them know when they can come in.

Don't lie and make excuses, just TELL them no! Different circumstances, but where we used to live I ended up screaming at kids to get out of my garden! Do it in a calm but firm way now to save your sanity!

hi prammymammy. I often wondered what happened for u. Glad its all sorted and yr chairs stay put now!!!

Hey, Yeah they totally stopped it, and are always very friendly and polite when i see them too. The granda even gave my dog a treat one day, although at the time i thought he might have poisoned it hah.
I'd still be stressing if i hadn't started that AIBU, so thank you :D.

It's very difficult when other children keep invading your territory. I've found a very firm "No" is the only answer for a lot of them.

I've had a bit of an issue with some other children (and their mum!) over the last few months, not with our garden, they don't live near enough. It's just that we all walk the same way home from school each day, (there's only one way!), and these children assume that every day we'll go to their house or they'll come back to ours.

As I work during the day I sometimes like to just bring my dc's home and have an evening to ourselves. After running out of excuses, "We're going to the shop, got an appointment etc!" I just have to say no now. I think their mum realises I don't like these "on the spot arrangements", as she now backs me up by saying no too. She never used to, just stood by and watched her dc's pester me, until I caved in! Well I don't now, I pre-arrange a day to all get together and stick to it!!

thanks all. i've never been much of an on-the-spot person so i can see where you're coming from, onthepier. tbh i think ds1 would really like it if other kids came over the whole time - that's partly why i feel so mean. he's much more sociable than me

crokky, we have no gate yet so that's part of the prob. they can get in at the top end too between the trees. don't really want to barricade ourselves in...