To wish for grandparents who enjoy babysitting

[lunamoon2]

Just a mone really. I only have my mum and mil and fil for babysitters. I don't have any other family and all dh family either live miles away, are at uni/college or live abroad.
A few years ago we tried neighbours teenage children, with great success until one by one they either went away to college got evening jobs and one even emigrated!
Anyway we don't often go out as it is a major hassle to get parents and inlaws to babysit. This month however we have 2 important events coming (both Saturday nights)and need babysitters for both. Oh asked his mum who has said no, due to the fact that pil is having very minor day surgery this month (not on either of those dates btw)and my mum has flown into a huff about "always being asked to babysit" which she is not, it is 6 weeks since she last babysat, before then was Christmas.
The flip side of this is that both sides moan about how little they see the kids and us-even though mil never invites us round. My mum even takes offence that I haven't told her I will be running a mini marathon soon as she wants to come and see me run. I do see her at least 3 times a week btw (with the kids) and am careful to involves her in her granchildren's lives the same with mil and fil.
My dd has even suggested she stay at a friend's house to which my mums response was "Oh I don't think they will like having you there for the night!"
I was a sham for many years as didn't want the hassle of asking either parents to look after our children so that I could work. If they did look after them during the week then I could understand the hostility towards the very occasional babysitting job.

My kids are 12, 10 and 7 and well behaved I am told
AIBU?

Message withdrawn

Look on the bright side, in another year your eldest will be old enough to start doing the odd couple of hours babysitting for his siblings. We started this very gradually when DS1 was 13 and it revolutionised our life! We've never had family to babysit so prior to that it was pay or stay home.

Have you asked around at their school?
We've found teaching assistants are often willing to pick up a bit of extra cash, and the children tend to behave better for sitters when they are a familiar face from school...

UANBU- I have this with my parents. They love dd and want to see her all the time but when it comes to actuallly babysitting her they dig their heels in. oh well.

Hi everyone.
Stayfrosty you are right it is not just the babysitting but the general feeling of not really wanting to spend time with grandkids except strictly on their terms, especially with inlaws.
Last month my dd was in the school play and I asked mil and fil to come, their response was for mil to stare blankly at me and fil got up and switched on the tv!! as my dd was present and fully aware of the situation I didn't push it as I don't want her to feel that they aren't bothered about her.
There have been other instances too, we have asked them to come and watch ds play football in local tournaments and they have been once in 4 years.
Both my dds dance and they have only been to one dance show when my eldest was 4, she is now 12!
my oh says not to bother inviting them ever again as it pees him off so much.

All this from 2 people who were in tears once in my house "because they weren't grandparents and when will someone -ie us- make them feel whole and let them have grandchildren to love"

sympathy to you luna.

last time my mil babysat... 3 yrs ago... she told us we had to be home at 9.30 and when we got home (within curfew i hasten to add), found her lying on the spare room bed, shoes and coat on - ready to leave.

given that the kids were 1 and 3, sound sleepers who went to bed at 7, i doubt it was that traumatic an experience...

i have a rather odd mil.

YANBU - always nice (but not compulsory) to have family support. think its a shame that when someone doesn't get much support from family that the response is sometimes "well your lucky - I get nothing" rather than " I can see where your coming from, I don't get much either".

I try and remain positve for the sake of the children and have said to my oh shoot me if I turn out like that