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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be annoyed at a comment my MIL's student made about my daughter ??

38 replies

mummyloveslucy · 11/05/2009 20:27

Hi, My mother in law has had students for about 20 years now. She's usually lucky and has had some lovely ones. Anyway, the one she's got now isn't so nice.
My 4 year old daughter has some developmental issues which are being investigated, but she isn't potty trained and often soiles herself.
We stayed the night at my MIL's house and at breakfast time, my daughter was hiding under the table as she didn't want me to get her dressed. The student was sat having her breakfast. She said to me "Can you take her out please, she stinks!". She then poot her head under the table and said to my daughter "Can you go with your Mum, you stink and it's not very nice".
I was horrified. For a start, I couldn't get to her, as the student was in the way.
I eventually got her out and checked her knickers. She was clean and dry.
Later, my MIL found a bag of cauliflower in the fridge that had gone off and was stinking. That's what she could smell.
When my MIL explained this too her, there was no appology.
I try to keep the peace for my MIL's sake but that really peed me off.

OP posts:
katiestar · 13/05/2009 20:15

Sorry didn't read the whole post about the rotten cauliflower. Itake it all back !

CapnMistyCannonbait · 13/05/2009 20:21

can i offer to go round and punch the twat of a student? is that allowed?

Fairynufff · 13/05/2009 20:24

Sorry to be the voice of the opposition here - although YANBU to be 'annoyed' - I don't think many young students would understand the sensitivities of a mother. Particularly one with a child who has certain issues. When small children are wailing - it is highly irritating, even to me and I am a mother of 3dc. I don't think what she said to your daughter under the table was that bad TBH and she did apologise when she'd overstepped the mark (and explained the reason). Screaming children drive people to distraction - that's partly the biological reason for it (so that an adult reacts in order to provide the child with what it needs).

I think she sounds like a typical self-centred twenty-something to me and you are overly sensitive because of your daughter's special needs...

stillenacht · 13/05/2009 20:25

mummyloveslucy - yes and i always say to the "Don't use that word near me" and they duly apologise and 5 minutes later it comes out again...

Teenagers just DON'T think.

duchesse · 13/05/2009 20:30

The student is doubtless a self-obsessed teenager. Rather like the rest of us at the same age. She'll learn. Her remark is hardly deserving of a witch-hunt.

Fairynufff · 13/05/2009 20:37

Agree with duchesse - I wouldn't have cared less about small kids when I was in my teens and I certainly wouldn't have countenanced for special needs or the precise sensitivities of the parent. All you care about at that age is yourself. All the people on here calling her a 'cow' or a 'bitch' are assuming that this young woman lives in the same solar system as them - she doesn't - and probably wouldn't understand or appreciate your priorities just as you don't understand hers...

ItsAllaBitNoisy · 13/05/2009 20:38

Lol at "Grammer school children should know better." Why? Are they different to other children somehow?

Snobbery is alive and well.

Jux · 13/05/2009 20:45

I would go anyway. Why change your routine and deprive your MIL of the pleasure of seeing you?

However, I would make damn sure to pull the girl up every time she was out of order.

stillenacht · 13/05/2009 21:10

You would like to think they may have the maturity to understand that their teacher (and one who they really like even if that sounds big headed in the words of Alan Sugar - 'I don't give a shit') may be slightly upset that her pupils who she and DH slog for openly disrespect the issues going on in her family of which they are fully aware...

but like i say...

Teenagers just DON'T think regardless of the fact they have been tutored to the eyeballs in how one shape is different from another shape. They may pass the 11plus but herd mentality lives on.....

Olifin · 13/05/2009 21:21

Noooo, the student isn't a girl, she's a 59 year-old woman! mummyloveslucy said so on page 1!

stillenacht · 13/05/2009 23:04

I missed that bit - still think teenagers don't think tho

Unbelievable that a 59yo can act that way

mummyloveslucy · 14/05/2009 09:10

Yes, she is 59 years old. She has 3 children who don't ever see her. (I wonder why)
I would've had more patience with a teenager.

I said "you'd think grammer school children would know better" because they obviously need to be intellegent to pass the 11+.
I'm not a snob, I didn't pass my 11+.

OP posts:
Jux · 14/05/2009 10:53

She's a bully then. Stand up to her.

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