To think my health visitor might bother to talk to me about PND this time round?

[NotSoRampantRabbit]

Just had antenatal home visit from the Health Visitor. Tis their new policy to come and check up on you introduce the service a month before due date.

The health visitor clearly remembered me because she commented on things that had changed in the house and talked about DS1.

She came to see me a few times when DS1 was about a year old because my PND had flared up quite badly on my return to work. She was fairly useless to be honest (in fact the whole HV service was pants).

She has just left. She spent 20 minutes asking me practical questions and reminding me about health and safety stuff (fine, I know they need to do this). She did not, at any point, acknowledge the mental health problems I had after the birth of DS1 or talk to me about the support on offer should the same thing happen again.

I just feel that I was let down last time, and that this time will be no different.

Am I being unreasonable to think that, if they go to all the trouble of coming to your house, it's not too much to ask that they might address such an important issue.

Or am I just over-sensitive about it all!?

Yes, that's dreadful and she's not doing her job properly to have neglected to ask you about this

Presumably she would have checked and read your notes before coming to see you? (When I've done community work - nursing - it's always common practice to read up on the notes prior to a visit to 'refresh' yourself IYGWIM)

How ARE you feeling? If you're a bit anxious, is there someone based in the team who you feel you do have a decent relationship with, who you can talk to?

Thanks for replying bernard.

When DS was a baby I used to go to the clinic every week and express my anxiety about his colic/feeding/weight (you name it - classic signs that all not well). Different HV's wrote notes to that effect in my red book, but at no point did they join the dots and take me to one side and ASK me how I was feeling.

I was really struggling but thought what I was feeling was normal. I am not "vulnerable" and so was not really monitored, just left to cope.

The whole experience has left me feeling very negative about HV's to be honest.

I guess I was anticipating today's visit in the hope that they would prove me wrong. But they haven't...

I am a bit anxious, but I have a great group of friends who know how things were last time. My counsellor has jst emailed me about a group she is setting up for new mums and I intend to use that if I need it. Plus I will take AD's alot sooner if I feel myself getting bad.

I just wish I felt that the HV service gave a tiny rat's ass about me!

It's good you have a solid support network in preparation for dc2 and that you yourself have a sound awareness of how things 'go' when all is not well... all good indicators that if you start to get low again, it might not completely get out of control

It does feel a let-down when you don't get the support you feel you ought to from HCPs. I hope you have no need this time for their support, anyway

Hi Rabbit (great name!)

As you already have a counsellor and your friends/family obviously know what signs to look out for should the dreaded PND strike again, I'd say that you are probably going to get better support than you would if you relied on your HV team anyway - so sod'em (and no, YANBU). Let's hope they don't miss the telltale signs in someone else who doesn't have the support network that you do though - good grief, and they call themselves "health" "care" "professionals"??

Good luck x

YANBU, I would think that after all the pleasantries and routine stuff, she would ask how you are feeling about things and if you are anxious. I am sure there would be things that you would want to ask and support she could offer at this stage, had she bothered to acknowledge the PND.

Thanks all - sorry I whizzed out to do food shop (first day of mat leave - hurrah).

I do have a good support network and I am hoping that this time will be different and that I will enjoy the baby stage.

I have never been one to rail against "the system" but having spent a lot of my hard earned money paying for support that I feel should have been offered to me via primary health care services I find myself feeling cynical and cross.

It would have been helpful to know what support is available four years after I last needed help. Back then I eventually battled my way onto a group for women with depression, but there was no specific service for PND. I wish I had more balls but for some reason, in the face of these people, I go all pathetic and meek!

Anyway, I have good friends and family and MN as a sounding board if I need it. So I will take your advice Mummydragon and "sod 'em" !