To want to go with my friend to her scan?

[TotallyAndUtterlyPaninied]

I MC'd in April. My friend has just found out she is pregnant. We are very different, I am getting married, I have a career, house, car, baby etc. I don't feel angry or resentful or anything towards her, I just feel happy that a new baby is coming into the world.

She was going to have an abortion as she already had 3 children and there is no father in the picture. But she has decided to keep the baby and she has asked me to go to scans etc with her so that she isn't doing it alone.

I want to, as I love babies and would like to be supportive.

But DP is worried that I will fall to pieces as I am very upset over the MC. He said I need to be looking after myself.

Of course you're upset, and it will no doubt be a very emotional experience but as long as you want to be there for her, I can't see the problem.

Sorry to hear about your MC

Thanks Wishing. I think the reason he doesn't want me to go is because he feels like it should be me and him going to see our baby on the screen IYSWIM.

It is lovely that he is only thinking of you (sorry for your loss too) but if you feel you can be there, then go. I am sure your friend will appreciate it.

how lovely of your dp to be so caring. Its really nice too that you feel able to support your friend too.
Do what you feel is right for you
Sorry to hear of your loss

Sorry to hear about your MC

I don't know if this is right or not but it sounds like you have the ability to see the two seperatly, as you said it is wondergul that a new baby is arriving. Of ocurse it is sad it is not yours but that does not mean you cannot still be happy about it IYSWIM. I am not saying that it will be easy and your dp may be right, it may turn out to be a bit much for you. However, you are not going to know that until you get there are you?

Does your friend know about your MC? I would be tempted to just sit her down and explain that, although you may feel emptional, you are nothing but happy that she has this baby and that you would love to still be there. Your dp is looking out for you and that is great but not everyone reacts the same way or grieves the same way. You have to decide for yourself what will be best and gently reassure dp. I should imagine he is pretty cut up too and may be handling it in a different way. Sometimes it is hard to understand when someone reacts differently to you IYSWIM.

Thanks everyone. Unfortunately my friend has MC'd today, too. We are going to be a shoulder for each other to cry on. Xx

Oh no

Clearly you are a wonderful friend, I am trying to think of the perfect words but there are none really are there?

My thoughts are with you and your friend.