to expect someone to be contactable when they're looking after my child?

[splishsplosh]

Ex's mum drives me mad - it's lovely she wants to spend time with dd1, I appreciate things she does etc, but whenever she has dd1 to stay or visit at the weekend, she is not great at bringing her back at agreed times (often later than I'd like), and notoriously unreliable at answering her phone in general.

Today I have been trying to contact her for over 2 hours to make arrangements to collect dd1, and there's no answer from landline or mobile.

I hope everything is OK - if it is then it's just so frustrating......

OK, maybe IABU, but it's complicated by the fact that ex is supposed to be collecting her, and I wanted to meet them out as don't really want him coming to the house for various reasons, but have 7mo dd2 at home, and if stuck to the original plan, I would be walking 30 minutes to meet ex, and another 30mins home and it'll all be getting late and we'll all be grouchy, and i wanted to combine it with getting some milk in Tesco before it shuts at 8 on the way home.

Also the journey from hers to here is over an hour, and if ex goes to collect her, then have to add another 30 mins once he knows what time to meet them...

YANBU

Does she know you worry?

You are their mother and you have a right to be able to contact them and whoever they are with at all times. If someone cut me off from my children like that, it would be the last time they took care of them.

Turned out OK in the end as she brought dd all the way here herself on the bus, arriving back about 7pm. She said she'd lost her phone, but her grandad was at home so no idea why he didn't answer landline.

Glad it was ok but Y were NBU - I would want to know I could get in touch with whoever was with my child if I needed to. What happens if you're taken ill and need to let them know? etc., etc.
Saves a lot of worry just to make sure phones at hand.

YANBU.

You should let her know that you were concerned, and that next time she looks after the kids she must keep her mobile phone switched on, or tell you where they are going and for how long (e.g. we are going swimming from 3 til around 4/4.30 so you won't be able to reach us). Remind her again next time she picks them up. If she doesn't do it, let her know that she will have to visit with you instead of taking the kids in future.

It's perfectly reasonable to want to know where your kids are.