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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think my Ex is really stupid?

15 replies

muggglewump · 10/05/2009 15:50

So, DD's Dad left when she was six weeks old and hasn't seen her since she was 2, his choice.

He moved back to Australia and I just found out last year I could apply for maintenance which I did and have been granted it although ntohing has been paid yet. It's not a huge amount (AUD$251 a month) but he has contested this. Now while I don't believe for a second he can't afford it, there's nothing I can do about that given I have no idea where he lives other than the country.

However the Aus CSA have forwarded me the letter he sent them minus his contact details and there's a bit in the middle which says "I have not been able to see, nor contact ,my daughter in 5 years and would appreciate some contact details".
Ha I haven't moved at all and still have mail adressed to him from when he lived here, plus obviously mail which states I still live here.
I will send this immediately to the Aus CSA showing him for the idiotic liar he is.

I'm not even angry, I just find it funny!

OP posts:
Jacksmama · 10/05/2009 15:55

He's stupid. End of.

What a t--t. Hope you get your support payments. Good luck!!

Original poster
muggglewump · 10/05/2009 16:00

I can only presume he thinks that implying he has no contact details means he will have to pay less or some such.
I don't think it works like that anyway but it still has amused me that all he has done is shown himself as a liar.

God what did I ever see in him?

OP posts:
caramelwaffle · 10/05/2009 16:05

Goodness. He is a silly man. Made me giggle

Nancy66 · 10/05/2009 16:05

what a low life - not only did he abandon his child he now doesn't want to financially help her either.

oldspotraver · 10/05/2009 16:16

I think a lot of men try and use this as mitigation as to why they shouldnt pay any money or just to make them not look like a twat as in... I'm a good guy really its only because I dont have contact details that I have not bothered

As if the CSA are interested

Tippychickchickchicken · 10/05/2009 16:18

The big thick.

Original poster
muggglewump · 10/05/2009 16:22

I think you are right oldspotraver.

I don't need to send them anything as his contact details, or apparent lack thereof means nothing to them, however it will amuse me and annoy him to do it, so I will.

I don't know why he doesn't just pay, it's not a huge amount and he certainly could have afforded it when we were together so I don't believe for a second he can't now.

I just wish I could have seen the look on his face when he realised that he has to pay even though he's on the other side of the world and that I actually went for it after all this time!

OP posts:
Original poster
muggglewump · 11/05/2009 00:23

I've just got off the pdone to the CSA.
They have said that his apparent lack of contact details isn't relevant at all.

They use an average salary figure to calculate what he has to pay if he doesn't provide proof of income, which he hasn't.
He will have to provide this now if he wants the claim reasessed.

They also said it may be possible for me to obtain a court order here claiming for the last 7 years as he has never paid. If I get it, they will then chase him for that too.

They also said that to their knowledge, it should be fairly easy to get DD dual citizenship though I don't have, nor can they give me his contact details, they can give them to parties concerning things like the above.

I'm guessing the court order at least costs money I don't have now, and I can't afford to get DD another passport now either but knowing it may be possible in time is great.

While he's clearly a knobber and shite father, if I can at least get money for DD and the chance for her to live and work in Australia if she so wishes then I will.

OP posts:
MissSunny · 11/05/2009 00:44

Message withdrawn

Original poster
muggglewump · 11/05/2009 10:09

It doesn't look like they will.

I applied for maintenence in November, he has been ordered to pay from December 2nd so they work really quickly over there. They were really helpful on the phone and have said they will call me and work with the time difference to make sure I'm up to date with any changes.

I just wish the CSA over here had been so efficiant. In over two years they did nothing.

I'm off to phone Immigration about Dual citizenship now.

OP posts:
Original poster
muggglewump · 11/05/2009 10:36

That looks like it could be tricky. I need a copy of his birth certificate or passport to prove he is Australian along with DD's BC to prove he is her father.

Hmm, I have his Dad's address so will try him, if not I'll see if the CSA can help by contacting immigration and providing his details on my behalf.

I will do whatever I can to get this for DD.

OP posts:
laweaselmys · 11/05/2009 10:37

Dual citizenship is great - if she has Australian nationality too, she can enter US more easily too. They have a lottery for work visa's you can enter if you come from certain countries including Oz which the UK is not on.

The only negative is that if she was arrested in Australia the British console would not be able to intervene on her behalf. Which itself is not a huge issue unless you think Australia is going to be taken over by a hostile government.

laweaselmys · 11/05/2009 10:38

I should think that is what the CSA is offering to do - guarantee that he is a citizen.

Original poster
muggglewump · 11/05/2009 11:24

I didn't know that about the US laweaselmys, just AUS and NZ, that's great.
Yes, I think that is what the CSA will do, I'll call them back tonight and ask.

I just want to give her as many opportunities in life as I can, even if her father won't.
After all she hasn't had the start she could have given that I chose him as her father

OP posts:
qwertpoiuy · 16/05/2009 07:56

any update OP?

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