In thinking that my DH is being selfish for inflicting his mid-life crisis on the whole family?

[MadameB]

My DH was 45 yesterday. We have DD 2 and DS 4. He flipped out and made him cancel all plans for the weekend,saying that he couldn't cope with anything. Am really worried about his mental health as he seems prone to bouts of depression. This probably has something to do with me earning 5 times more than he does and me having to travel every other week for 2 days for work which means him doing a lot of childcare. Whilst I really appreciate what he does as a father, I find his sulky beahviour affects the whole family and I would really appreciate any tips others could share for resolving such flip-outs. Maybe I should reduce my hours and let him the breadwinner - what are other peoples experiences? Thanks for any advice

i am a single mum and always have been, so who am i to say anything about relationships!

but when i read things like this i do feel its a shame that some couples cannot talk to each other about such important things.

if he can't talk to you/listen to you or you feel you can't talk to him - maybe that is the first problem to try to overcome. i appreciate the confrontational approach - we need to talk. but if this is not working, perhaps some kind of therapy - for you alone or you both together might be very helpful, especially as you seem angry but also puzzled and powerless about what is going on.

Thanks for all your messages. I did actually have a chat with DH last night finally. He admitted that he shouldn't have shut down communication all day, but he said it was better to be away from the kids so that they couldn't see he was upset. This has always been his MO - we have an argument he withdraws for 24 hours then we discuss it, so I suppose I shouldn't try and change it. But as Fleetwoodmac says, I am quite angry about everything so I think I will take the therapy route and see if we can work things out better together. Thanks again

Good luck MadameB

All the best, MadameB. Hope you manage to thrash it out.