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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want to buy my son a Nintendo DS for his 5th birthday?

34 replies

MummyDragon · 09/05/2009 08:59

I've just posted this elsewhere too as I wasn't really sure where to put it ..

I am not at all convinced that my DS is old enough to have a Nintendo DSi or whatever they're called for his 5th birthday. He already has a VTech handheld/console game which he likes a lot anyway, and at least I can pretend that it is eductional! (well, it is, actually!). But all - and I mean all - the mums at school are raving about their 5-year-olds having the DS and how wonderful it is. Never having been much of a one for computer games (the only game I ever played was Donkey Kong) I am very unsure about this. 5 just seems SO YOUNG to be constantly plugged into a computer game, and my friend's son is horribly aggressive for hours after he finishes playing it. All comments welome. Thank you!

(btw, my son loves learning on computers at school and is a "typical boy" in that his absolute favourite activity is getting wet and muddy. For hours and hours).

OP posts:
shootfromthehip · 09/05/2009 09:02

My DD asked for one for her 5th birthday but as she is still not reading, I decided that it was too big an expense and there was too high a risk of it getting broken between her and her 2 yr old DB.

YANBU

civilfawlty · 09/05/2009 09:04

good god no. i keep hearing parents say "all the other kids have got them etcetc" - but really, if no-one bought them there wouldn't be a problem.

They are draining and horribly absorbing and eviscerate other wonderful childhood activities. DONT DO IT!!

bluejeans · 09/05/2009 09:05

DD was the last of her friends to get one at age 8 - we held out for that long for same reasons as you! However it has proved extremely useful for car/plane/train journeys- but I do find I have to limit the time she spends on it. I agree 5 seems young - but will be interested to see what other parents of 5yos say on here

EasyEggs · 09/05/2009 09:05

My ds's aged 5 and 7 have one each that they got for xmas, BUT on the condition that they are only allowed to play it in my room so they can't get lost or broken and my dd can't get them. This also means I get to say when they can/can't go on them so they get very little use tbh!!

The only reason the 5yo got one too was to stop any arguements before they started.

I think in all honesty YANBU.

serenity · 09/05/2009 09:05

Having a DS doesn't mean he'll be constantly on it - you're the parent, you limit it as you see fit.

Just because other mums have bought them, and think they're fab doesn't mean you have to.

Your friend's son might be horribly aggressive, but it doesn't mean your son will be, or any other child will be. Depends on a number of factors, things like the game they're playing (plenty of nonviolent games for the DS!) and the personality of the child itself

I bought my DD one for her 5th birthday, but she has two older brothers and was playing theirs anyway!. DS1 didn't have anything similar until he was a fair bit older.

In the end it's your child and your choice. Does he actually want one?

namebacon · 09/05/2009 09:06

As long as your son can read I don't see what the problem is or that there is any difference between a VTech and a DS.

If he isn't reading yet though then YANBU and as it sounds like your son has a summer birthday you have lots of choice of garden toys around this time of year, I'd go for them.

Original poster
MummyDragon · 09/05/2009 09:13

Thank you ladies. That was quick! I think I am going to get him a new game for the Vtech and some more balls etc for the garden! Tbh, having a Vtech AND a DS is a pointless waste of money - thank you namebacon for tactfully making me realise that! Thanks lots

OP posts:
MANATEEequineOHARA · 09/05/2009 09:16

I agree, 5 is too young and I cringe at parents talking about their kids in reception playing on ds, playstation etc. My son has one age 7, but I really limit how much he plays on it, and he only has two games, I didn't even buy it, it was left here by his excuse of a father, I would not have bought one yet.
Agree with the above comment about being v.handy on long journeys though!

catwalker · 09/05/2009 09:21

I agree 5 is probably too young, but peer pressure is terrible. My eldest son's best friend always had the latest gadgets, right from a very young age, and it was hard not to try and compete but do what I thought was best for DS. Two things I will say about a Nintendo DS is that there are quite a few eduational games you can get for it AND it's easily removed and put on a high shelf or "lost" when you thing they've had enough - unlike an X Box etc which has to be unplugged etc.

sweetheart · 09/05/2009 09:29

I'm going to go against the grain here! My ds is 3 and he has a 2nd hand nintendo ds which he loves!

We brought it because he was forever grabbing my dd's ds (she is 8) and I was worried he would break it. We also recently ent to america on holiday so we brought it to keep him quiet on the plane.

There are lots of games aimed at children of this age and he actually does manage to effectivly play thinks on it - not just constantly tap the screen!

I would suggest if he really wants one to go on Ebay and get a 2nd hand one - there will be lots of cheap ones on there now that the DSi is on the market.

Wilkiepedia · 09/05/2009 09:32

I wouldn't do it - hate seeing kids with their heads buried in consoles particularly at his age. Like someone else saids, loads of fab garden stuff around at the moment, books etc - much better IMO until he is a bit older.

KnickKnack · 09/05/2009 09:34

My kids are 5 and 7 and have recently got an old xbox for £15. Most of the games available cost between 50p and £5. I really couldn't justify the cost of a DS or PS3 etc on a young child (although I guess for some, money is not an issue).
Time on the xbox is strongly limited (perhaps slightly longer on stormy days). Fortunately all of the neighbours seem to limit time too, so most of the kids are outdoors for most of the day (even in rain). If left to their own devices most of them would probably spent hours in front of the box though.

If he already has a Vtech I think you should wait a while longer before getting him another console.
Perhaps you could let him play some games on your computer? I think its useful for them to learn mouse control and awareness of how computers work, as they play an increasing role in school/work. I can link you to lots of good kids websites if you like. Even the most game-orientated sites are good for developing some skills imo.

KnickKnack · 09/05/2009 09:36

I think the main point of my post got a bit lost there...the main factor with children and games is to continue to be strict with the amount of time they are allowed to play on them

TooMuchCaffeine · 09/05/2009 09:43

I think 5 is too young. My DS is 5 but we have decided that he can't have one until his a bit older (at least 8). There are plenty of other things that are more constructive and fun for young children to do on their own. I know some people say the games are educational etc, but so is real life, conversation, imagination, creativity and so on.

Roobie · 09/05/2009 09:45

My 7yo dd hasn't got one yet and actually hasn't particularly nagged for one regardless of the fact that the rest of her class seem to be glued to theirs. I tend to think it's best to wait for these things as otherwise all present ideas are exhausted before they even hit junior school.

citronella · 09/05/2009 09:51

YANBU at all. They are expensive and there's plenty of time yet. If he has one at 5 what will he want at 10?

dietstartstomorrow · 09/05/2009 09:56

YABU - get with it, this is what kids like doing.

Don't get the new DSi though, as that would be a waste of money for a 5 y/o. I would just get the normal DS.

My DS got one for his 4th B-day, and he plays it every now and again, but not loads.

I hate the way some parents think by having these things so young is bad, and that they will be obsessed. It's a very OTT attitude.

SummatAnNowt · 09/05/2009 10:15

You're the parent, get one if you want, or don't get one!

ds got one for his 5th birthday and spent about a week playing it all the time and now he just pops on it for 15 mins at a time, or at useful times, like if I'm at the hairdressers. Yes I let him play on it all the time to get it out of his system. I've done the same with the television and the gamecube and he also self-regulates those too. None of that changed him, his most favourite thing in the world is still playing, with playing outside being the best thing ever.

Gorionine · 09/05/2009 10:16

YANBU

Doodle2U · 09/05/2009 10:19

The DS has been brilliant for my DS on a number of levels.

He isn't allowed "to be constantly plugged into a computer game,...". We have boundaries!

He was 5 when he got it and my daughter was 5 when she got hers. They are NOT the root of all evil.

Doodle2U · 09/05/2009 10:20

Morning Gori - looks like we have opposing views on this thread - fancy a fight?

Flamesparrow · 09/05/2009 10:21

We have a family one as I think that it is too expensive for one child to have alone at that age.

They share, it is when we say they can play.

No aggression with it though Maybe that depends on the games and/or the child though.

Peachy · 09/05/2009 10:37

DS3 has been bought one for his sixth birthday in July, tbh I owuld have rather not but it's a slightly different scenario for us (he ia autistic and addicted to the PC, a DS is the only way we can get away for more than a day or two. you do best you can).

You can set limits, you can choose the games- it doesn't have to be violent bash em up stuff, it can be colour by numbers, or sims pets, or whatever; that sort of game, where the time is limited and controlled, I dopn't see as an issue at all TBH

verylapsedrunner · 09/05/2009 10:41

YANBU don't do it

MummyDoIt · 09/05/2009 10:47

My DH bought me one last year and I've only just started letting my DSs, age 5 and 6, play on it. It is very useful for long journeys and the like but I strictly limit their use of it. I haven't bought them any games of their own. So far, they're using a compendium of games that I have which includes bowling, Connect 5, Solitaire and things like that. I have no intention of letting either of them have one of their own but then I won't let them have computers, televisions, Playstations, Wiis or anything else of their own. We have family ones that we all share.

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