To feel that SN professionals make you feel even guiltier than normal?

[laumiere]

Is it me or is the general 'everything you do affects your child' message so much worse when it comes to SN kids?

My DS1 has cerebral palsy and autistic tendencies, and we just had a new baby. At his latest meeting there was general surprise that I wasn't doing 25 hours of physio and constant speech therapy every day, and that DS1 would suffer horribly as a result. FGS, it takes all of my power just to get all of us up and dressed in the mornings!

Why is it health professionals always make you feel guilty for what you're NOT doing?

Same as welshwoman really- I satrted out on the every plan going system and now do the sensible medium. I have 2 with SN but also one with SEN and that still means extra work on educational atuff for school, meetings with SENCO's etc.

however I applied for training as a TA with SN kids alst week (as a stop gap before doing eiother PGCE or SW) and suspect I will be more relaistic than most PMSL.

Riven, are their any charities that could help you towards that Bike? Just wondering...I assume you have an OT with dd, could they maybe get funding somewhere?

When I saw those Bikes, I thought, that they would do very very well in Germany and Netherlands, what with lots of people cycling there...

I feel I am torn between the because-her-love-was-so-grat-scenario and if-you-could-only-relax-dd-would-be-able-to-have-a-normal-life-and-not-feel-disabled.

On a good day, the same person can manage to convey the two messages simultaneously.

Or perhaps it's only me expecting the two messages simultaneously.

Can I ask parents of children with SN, is it how the 'advice' is despatched that grates, or the quantity, or what?

I am an SN HLTA in a school and am very conscious how I might come across to parents of children who have enough on their plates without me spouting pearls of wisdom.

ASK WHAT WE NEED DONN'T TELL US WHAT TO DO

Is it higher level TA?

The bits that grate on me are the platitudes, the stuff meant to feel good thats clearly bollox.

The stuff about how well ds3 was actually doing after the place at SNU had been allocated that was in fact based on nothing but a wish not to worry me and amde me go half mad doubting my own judgement.

not telling me if DS1 has had a rough week in case it worries me.
I can only trade in facts and full information; anything else and i'm on quicksand

Yes it is a Higher Level TA. And I really want to be the sort of 'SN professional' who listens, rather than spouts.

Although I feel I am performing at Amateur level atm!

totally agree with OP

Can I just say, that as a parent of a child with very very minor ailments, pag's comments rang very familiar bells with me re the reactions and advice from acquaintances, family and medical people.

It must be a tiresome drain for all of you who have to care for children with serious conditions that impact on the whole family's life. I can't imagine how frustrating and demoralising it must be at times.

Thanks Riven! I am fairly new to the role, love working with the children but worry that my parent skills are not so hot.

lol riven - totally agree tho

yanbu. kept being advised to take DS to loads of M/T groups when his language and therefore social skills were very very delayed. Yep - if I was a bit lukewarm about them when he was a baby, I was really going to find enjoyable when he was amongst the oldest but in some ways least capable kids there wasn't I?

Wot pag said, be honest! If DS is rough with the other kids (even if he doesn't mean it) I need to know!

Teachers have this affect on me too! YANBU !!!

and EX - friends!

I can totally relate to the comments about other parents and recovery books etc.

My daughter died from cancer. If ONLY I had loved her a little bit more and if she had ONLY been a little bit braver and if I had ONLY done my research into the right diet for her.......

Yeah whatever.

CHEGIRL... HUG XXX

Aww thanks MUM2ASD you dont get many of them on MNs

((chegirl)). there's an awful lot of folk belief and mythology around "fighting" that isn't backed up by the research that must be so frustrating for people with cancer and their families.

Total yep its one of my pet hates. Although I do understand the need for those living with cancer to sometimes use this terminology. I am often torn. If my DD had survived I would probably speak of her in terms of beating cancer etc because I know how hard that bloody fight is. Its the lazy media stuff that winds me up IYKWIM.