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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

People have fallen out with me because of school issues

57 replies

CreasesOnForehead · 08/05/2009 19:07

In our area we have 3 primary schools. Only one of them is any good (and then it's still not briliant) and I was lucky to get my DS in there.

Also in the area are 2 extremely bad secondary schools. GCSE pass marks range from 10% to 17%. Put it this way, we live in a very large city and these schools have an intake of around 200 students a year. This year only 35 people actually CHOSE to send their children to this school. The rest had to be forced there ... and even then most people decided to home-school instead.

Out of the area is a really good secondary school, hugely over subscribed with no chance of getting in unless you live in the catchment.

So anyway as our children are coming up to their final year of primary school, us parents have been discussing the secondary school worries, everyone (including myself) worrying about these two bad schools that our DC's would most likely be forced into.

However, last year I met someone and we ended up moving in together. This moved us into the catchment of the good school. This was NOT the reason I moved. It was just lucky that he lived there. I was considering moving into the catchment anyway before I met him.

Anyway since everyone found out they have all turned against us. The parents no longer speak to me saying I'm selfish and stuck up. Their DC's have started telling DS that I "shagged my way" into the catchment area ... I head one woman say "it's alright when you can open your legs and get your kids into any school you want" etc etc

I'm not going to put him down for a shit school when I have other options just to please everyone! I'm sure any of them would have done the same.

AIBU to treat this as bullying where DS is concerned and inform the primary school to deal with it?

OP posts:
chegirl · 09/05/2009 15:58

What is it with the women who hang around at the school gates?

Havnt they got anything better to do FFS?

Personally I drop my kids off and then cant wait to get out of there.

Ignore the jealous bints. Live your own life and feck theirs.

seeker · 09/05/2009 16:07

"What is it with the women who hang around at the school gates?

Havnt they got anything better to do FFS?

Personally I drop my kids off and then cant wait to get out of there."

There are so many things wrong with this post....but I don't think I can be bothered to point them out!

Except to speculate about what it must be like to be such an elevated being!

chegirl · 09/05/2009 16:16

Why?

Do you think its ok to hang around bitching about other mothers and accusing them of shagging their way to a catchment area?

What the feck has that got to do with being an elevated being?

Touchy, much?

minxofmancunia · 09/05/2009 16:17

agree with chegirl, nothing to do with being an elevated being just not wanting to get embroiled in cliquiness and bitchiness.

To the OP YANBU, they sound vile.

chegirl · 09/05/2009 16:25

You know what? I have just gone away and thought hang on what exactly are all the wrong things about my post? Maybe you could point them out because I am confused.

So not wanting to be one of the women (who have been present at every primary school my kids have attended) who hang about smoking, swearing and slagging off other women. That makes me up myself does it?

I was supporting the OP, I was telling her not to worry about the vile trolls who are making up lies about her.

So thanks for the flame seeker.

junglist1 · 09/05/2009 16:29

I don't see the big deal either, che wasn't slagging off ppl who chat as such, but ppl who make trouble like they were still at school. It goes on all the time at my DC's school.

FatFree · 09/05/2009 16:31

Just read the other thread this one was linked to. Strange how they are so similar, i guess this must be 2 people (or 1 person) havin a larf!

chegirl · 09/05/2009 16:33

Maybe Seeker thought I was being snotty about SAHMs?

I cant think of any other reason for her response TBH.

You have to look at my comments in context. I didnt just come on any random thread and have a go at mums who do go rushing off to important jobs.

BTW I work 10 hrs a week and was previously off work for 5 years so hardly a career woman myself

Other than that I can only think I have offended the pp in a previous thread/life

chegirl · 09/05/2009 16:34

who 'dont go ' doh!

edam · 09/05/2009 16:42

Thread juxtaposition is very odd...

But OP, I think you and your son have had a VERY lucky escape by the sounds of it. No wonder the local secondaries are shit, with parents like that.

Just be grateful neither you nor your son has to see any of them ever again after June! (And if the comments really are upsetting your son, I would go and talk to the teacher and make sure they do some work with the class on bullying and what is acceptable behaviour.)

seeker · 09/05/2009 16:56

I think the OP's being treated very badly by some of the people at the school gate. But it is about foul people, not about school gate

I get so pissed off by the "Oh, I never talk to people in the playground" "I loathe all the mothers at the school gate" "I can't wait to drop my child and run"

It's as if people think that once somebody exchanges two words with another parent in the playground they become second class citizens and "beneath notice".

Nothing to do with SAHMs.

policywonk · 09/05/2009 17:03

I agree with seeker, I think. I hang around at the school gates talking to my mates quite frequently, but I'm not smoking, swearing or slagging anyone off. I'm just talking to my friends. I hope nobody at my school hates me for that.

chegirl · 09/05/2009 17:05

Again - look at the context of my post. If you dont slag of mums for shagging their way to the best school, you have no reason to be so offend have you?

Because I am not talking about you am I?

chegirl · 09/05/2009 17:07

Maybe Seeker you can start your own thread about this and let the OP continue to recieve support from those of us who are being specific to her issue?

policywonk · 09/05/2009 17:08

che, I do understand the point you're making, but your first post was very scattergun and didn't differentiate between women who do and women who don't behave badly: you just expressed irritation at any woman who stays at school to talk to people.

I have no wish to make this a fight to the death

chegirl · 09/05/2009 17:15

Polywonk - I wouldnt dream of a fight to the death either but my post was on THIS thread and I didnt start my own AIBU. It was aimed at 'those' women and certainly not people who exchange two words with their friends.

Why on earth would I despise them or see them as 'beneath notice'. How weird would that be? Does anyone think like that? It sounds a touch paranoid to me.

seeker · 09/05/2009 17:17

"What is it with the women who hang around at the school gates?

Havnt they got anything better to do FFS?

Personally I drop my kids off and then cant wait to get out of there."

Do your children go to the same school as the OP's, then, chegirl?

chegirl · 09/05/2009 17:19

What do you mean seeker? I am finding your personal attacks a little tiresome now. You responed in an over the top way to a comment that was not directed at you in any way and it appears you are now trying to justify your reaction.

Its boring

cbmummy · 09/05/2009 17:21

Hi. I do not think that you need to report it as bullying re. your ds as they are pointing the comments at you not him. I think it is really crap that they are being so narky with you. Just sounds like ideas of grandeur to me. I mean to be honest they are at the bloody school themselves, so why are they taking that tone.

Personally, I would not see them worthy to kiss my arse and would tell them all about themselves.

The fact they are spending so much of their time loitering at the gates talking about you rather than getting on with their own lives is rather telling.

It is the age old thing of bored women with too much time on their hands treating the school as their own playground instead of their kids.

I have been their done that and worn the t-shirt - been on the receiving end. I can see that it is because they are pathetic, bitter, lonely souls who really have nothing better to do than have their lives revolve around gossip and griping.

Honestly - what did they do before they had kids?

chegirl · 09/05/2009 17:27

bloody hell look out cbmummy you will feel the wrath of seeker in a minute

cbmummy · 09/05/2009 17:31

I am a big girl I can handle it - all that time spent by those school gates

SnortyBartFast · 09/05/2009 17:33

blimey ladies
i will bang you heads together in a minute

SnortyBartFast · 09/05/2009 17:34

and those fouled mouthed women who tell their DC's (!) that you shagged your way up, should have their mouths washed out with soap.
they said that to their dcs? who then repeated it to your dc?S??????/
unbelievable.

Quattrocento · 09/05/2009 17:37

I'm sorry OP but this story beggars belief.

cbmummy · 09/05/2009 17:39

The OP's story may sound extreme but fact is this happens in most schools across the country.

It is diabolical!

I am happy that my kids are now in a different school since we moved away where this does not seem to happen quote as openly anyway lol.

But then again we are not really encouraged to loiter!

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