in worrying that not attending parties will result in the invitations drying up.

[WilhelminaFewFriends]

Hi there,
Having a feeling sorry for myself moment.
It's not like I get invited to many parties but it just seems recently that when I do get invited, I'm always knackered/ill etc.
I don't want to end up as a billy-no-mates.
Do you think I should just go ahead and make the effort even when I really don't feel up to it?
I always send my apologies and express regrets for not attending but am wondering if i'm sabotaging my own future social life.

i was in ivited to a party once 14yrs ago and decided not to go cause i just needed to sleep then at 10pm i thought sod it and went and met my dh

get yourself out

I've done the same a few times but only to people I didn't know that well. Get out and about, if you don't enjoy when you get there at least you showed your face. But the things you don't feel like doing sometimes turn out really fun!

Yes, you will find that the invites dry up as people will think you are not that bothered. Unless you are reslly ill you should go - do you think you are persuading yourself you are ill/too tired so you don't have to deal with socialising?

Possibly - it's alright to turn down an invite occasionally, especially if hosts know you have kids/work long hours/are often ill/all of the above. But if you turn down every invitation you get with the excuse of being too tired or under the weather, people might start to assume that it's your way of saying you don't want to go or have better things to do. I probably would, if I knew somebody always rejected invites that way.

A colleague at work never comes out with the rest of the team for the monthly after-work drink, hasn't in the two years she's been working here. People used to invite her but then stopped bothering even to ask.

Dmo's right, sometimes it can be good to get yourself out and socialising. Why not go in future, but say you can only stay for an hour or so - then you have the choice of leaving after that or staying longer if you start to enjoy yourself.

thanks for the frank responses.
DH and I are supposed to be at a friend's party tonight but we're both really run-down and tired.
There are other factors in play here, too- the cost of a babysitter, DH coming off a long run of demanding shifts (which means I was left to do everything with the kids single-handed), and the fact that, frankly, as we've hardly seen each other in a fortnight, we wouldn't mind a couple of quiet nights in over the weekend.
The party's also a themed fancy-dress do and I haven't had time nor opportunity to sort out a costume.
I think it's because I live at a military base and the social life is so important here, I'm paranoid that not attending some of the parties etc will kind of exclude me from the 'circuit'. I was out on Wednesday with the girls, it's mainly the "couples" events that seem to go amiss.
I know we should go, but, just not tonight!
I also feel bad coz I know the hosts have been planning this party for ages.
Thanks for letting me vent.