Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

In having a massive hormonal cry about something my DP said?

22 replies

Queenoftheharpies · 08/05/2009 13:20

Just been showing him some new (maternity) clothes I bought - including a dress I wasn't really sure about and was thinking of returning.

He said "Well, it's OK. But all maternity wear looks like shit anyway so you might as well keep it if it wasn't expensive".

I wouldn't be upset if he was criticising the dress in question. But ALL maternity clothes? WTF am I supposed to wear for the next 3 months then, a sack?

I told him he had no fucking tact and stormed out of the room crying.

OP posts:
booyhoo · 08/05/2009 13:21

men!!! do you think he got the point or does it just make you feel better? ive been there too.

FabulousBakerGirl · 08/05/2009 13:24

YANBU as anything is allowed when you are pregnant but focus on he is saying clothes are crap, not you.

KingCanuteIAm · 08/05/2009 13:24

No, it was tactless! However, how did he act afterwards, has he been mortified when he realised that he had just insulted your present and future wardrobe and that you will now think he is thinking that whenver you get dressed or did he behave as if you should stop being silly?

If he is mortified then I would forgive him, he clearly has a case of FootInMouthItis, if not then I would have a bit of a discussion with him to try to get him see your POV!

sobloodystupid · 08/05/2009 13:25

I was a big whinge bag of unreasonableness for the last trimester. Memorably, I texted DH telling him to move out because he made Xmas pudding (I know,I know, - hence the name!)
It was clumsy and tactless what your DP said. Honestly, don't allow this to spoil the day or, God forbid, the weekend. Tell him he is a prat and that he must rub your feet for an hour (particularly if he hates doing it). Graciously concede that you may have overreacted slightly

wotulookinat · 08/05/2009 13:28

YANBU. He can't help being an unthinking man though.

Original poster
Queenoftheharpies · 08/05/2009 13:39

He's not said anything, other than yes and thank you to a sandwich. Which I totally wasn't in the mood to make him but I was making my own lunch and thought that deliberately not making his would be an overreaction too far.

OP posts:
Curiousmama · 08/05/2009 13:49

Does he think women look crap when pg?

KingCanuteIAm · 08/05/2009 13:50

Hmm, maybe you should do a bit of calm explaining? A least if he knows why it was tactless it may help you - although I think getting him to not make the same mistake again may be a bit more difficult!

blondie80 · 08/05/2009 13:59

you're not alone, my dh is really tactless aswell, he said to our dd yesterday 'where is big blubber belly?' meaning me. i'm 16 weeks pg.

junglist1 · 08/05/2009 14:10

When me and P first got together he MEANT to say "you're priceless". What came out of his gob was "You've got no value". Don't worry,it was just a silly off the cuff comment that came out wrong.

YanknCock · 08/05/2009 14:51

I would have done the exact same thing (storm out and cry). But we're due the same month, so I'm not very good for a different perspective!

Original poster
Queenoftheharpies · 08/05/2009 14:58

He has since tried to cheer me up. I explained why I felt what he'd said was hurtful and he just thought I was getting upset about him not liking the dress, thus missing the point entirely.

curiousmama, he does think pg women look crap.

He's completely tactless with everyone as well. When my 5-months-pg best mate came over the firs thing he said was "fucking hell, you're fat".

It's the same old story - women are from venus, men are bastards.

OP posts:
PM73 · 08/05/2009 15:02

YANBU, when i asked my dh how i looked when i was trying on a maternity swimming costume he said i looked like the only gay in the village. Needless to say he regretted that comment for many months after!!

SerendipitousHarlot · 08/05/2009 15:08

I can remember trying on a new outfit for New Years Eve once, years ago.

I said to ex, 'does this make me look fat?'
He said - 'You ARE fat. Just accept it.'

Twat.

Original poster
Queenoftheharpies · 08/05/2009 15:13

at PM73. At least that's funny.

OP posts:
Joolyjoolyjoo · 08/05/2009 15:16

That's funny, PM73! OP, this is the kind of thing my DH would say, without thinking (and then be made to regret for the next 3 days! )

nickschick · 08/05/2009 15:17

My dh doesnt'do' pregnant women - and only when the midwife told him I was a funky mum to be, did he realise that there is far worse ways to look when pregnant.

It did piss me off tho and he suffered a helluva long time

Wonderstuff · 08/05/2009 15:23

PMSL at PM73's dh.

Queen YANBU I would have reacted in the same way. Tell him his purpose in life should be to try to make you feel good about yourself.

PM73 · 08/05/2009 15:25

Yes i must admit i did laugh (but not in front of him obviously

onthepier · 09/05/2009 18:55

That was insensitive of him, Queen.

Many years ago when I was about 7 months pregnant we were booked in for an open evening at the hospital I was due to give birth in. There were about 12 of us, with partners, all around 7 months pregnant being shown round the maternity unit.

My dh said, (quite loudly), "My god, you can't tell me these are all at the same stage of pregnancy as you, you're the biggest of the lot!"

He apologised afterwards as I was upset, but claimed he wasn't aware that anybody else heard it, (I saw a few shocked faces!), and he didn't mean to be offensive, etc!

MEN!!

mamas12 · 10/05/2009 02:27

Well I think the only thing to do is walk around maked then isn't.!!!

ninedragons · 10/05/2009 04:55

Sorry, I am pissing myself giggling at the only gay in the village. I had a tankini when pregnant and am pretty sure that's exactly how I looked too. I should have bought a little leather peaked cap to go with it.

Very insensitive of the OP's DH.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread