To start building DS's Lego?

[redskyatnight]

DS's birthday was yesterday. His birthday present was one of those humungous Lego sets that come in various sections that have to be assembled separately and then put together. DS wants to do it straight away but DH tells him they haven't got time before school and he (DH) will try to come home early from work to help DS build it. DS is at the stage where he is more enthusiastic than useful in terms of actually building the Lego so this is mainly an adult task.

DS gets home from school and begs me to start his Lego with him. On the basis that the thing will take ages to build and DH won't be home for a while (even if he can get out early) I agree to build one small section (there are 6 altogether). I build the section and tell DS I won't do any more as DH will do it with him. DS is happy with this.

DH gets home (an hour early, fair play to him) and hits the roof. He then rants at me for about 20 minutes about how I have ruined his father/son Lego project. Point out that I have only done one small bit and there is lots still to do. This is apparently, not the point. DS gets very upset. DH eventually goes off and does Lego with him.

DH is not talking to me last night and still not this morning apart from to compare me unfavourably to my mother (who is an evil witch who no one likes). He says I am too practical and totally soulless not to understand why he is so upset. I think that I made the Lego I did to keep DS happy and in no way ruined their father/son bonding time and that HE should have not gone off on one,thereby upsetting DS.

I still, genuinely don't get why this is such a big deal to him. Maybe I am too practical and soulless?

YANBU. I think your dh needs to remember he's the adult and not the child.

Perhaps buy DH his own set of lego to play with

Was the lego bought for ds or dh?! YANBU

Tho, I am slightly envious, dp and I spent a whole evenign assembling a massive lego project for the dts - would have been more than happy to leave him to get on with it!

Er no

methinks dh has some issues left over from his own childhood/lego experiences...

I know this because I am like your dh

i get ds something in kit form and spend hours swearing over it while he stands there saying 'No it's Ok, you can do that bit mummy, I don't really want to any more'

which lego kit was it?

YABU - DP would be very upset if I did this. Lego building has (from as early as 20 weeks pg!) been designated a Father/Son project.

I wouldn't dare...

have to admit i do like helping assemble lego sets so can see his point.

though agree with seeline, maybe he should buy the millennium falcon or something (that takes a day to build)

he was/is being an idiot

Seeline Good idea.

redsky YANBU Bad of your DH to go off on one in front of DS. I hope he apologises.

You were not being too practical, it sounds like you were trying to address your son's needs (it is his toy).

Reading this back, can you see why he was upset? I can - it was important for his to do something 1 on 1 with his son, but he behaved badly, and if there's one message we parents need to get through to our DCs it's that we have to take a deep breath and not think that feeling angry justifies this kind of behaviour.

(I love doing Lego, especially the ones with cute little bits and bobs, like spades and lights and ickle cats and things).

I agree with screamingabdab - your dh should have dealt better with the upset.

My dses are past the stage of lego models - and to be honest I am both sad and glad. The models are amazing - so much better and more detailed/clever than when I was growing up, but (and like mine, it's a big but) they can be incredibly frustrating to assemble.

I still have flashbacks to a Christmas morning at my mum's house. We'd given each of the boys a Harry Potter lego kit, including Dumbledore's office, but they were a bit too young to assemble them, so I ended up doing it. I swear that it's only thanks to the precious gift of alchohol that I retained even the smallest shred of sanity by the end of the job!!

I once spent eight hours on christmas day assembling the millenium falcon while exp and ds mooched around having fun.

We have two big lego kits left over from xmas this year that have not been assembled. This weekend it must happen.

Your DH is a childish prat

yanbu - you figured out a completely reasonable compromise - ds would surely have been crushed and frustrated waiting around for your dh to get home. And am so that it resulted in yuor ds getting upset on his birthdfay... we have situations like this so I sympathise. Maybe next year arrange in advance with Dh that he will go into work 1 hour late - 'dental appointment' ???????