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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

People who don't RSVP for birthday parties

25 replies

MaryMotherOfCheeses · 07/05/2009 21:20

I need to know.

It's just rude not to let people know. Real bad manners.

Apparently this kid has told DS he's coming but that he'll be coming late. His parents will drop him off at the Pizza Hut. The rest of the kids are meeting at our house and we're taking them in our two cars. But they don't know which Pizza Hut, I don't know if we're bringing him home as we are with all the other kids, I don't know what time he's going to get there. They don't know what time we're eating. Or what time we're leaving there.

Is it really too much to ask that people just bloody RSVP????

It's so simple.

OP posts:
nickytwotimes · 07/05/2009 21:21

Yanbu.
It is rude.

bigchris · 07/05/2009 21:22

how old is the friend?
maybe he's just confused and he's not going

Original poster
MaryMotherOfCheeses · 07/05/2009 21:23

Maybe he is.

But I don't know.

Because the bloody parents haven't been in touch.

OP posts:
Original poster
MaryMotherOfCheeses · 07/05/2009 21:23

they're all 8.

OP posts:
HerBeatitudeLittleBella · 07/05/2009 21:26

Savages.

I hate them.

mumtoone · 07/05/2009 21:27

I had a similar issue with ds's party and I found it quite rude. I don't think we will invite the children we had no replies from again which is a shame for them but I don't want to be messed about.

thisisyesterday · 07/05/2009 21:29

that really is rude.
I have to say I am the kind of person who does totally forget to RSVP, i am very bad

but wanting to make different arrangements and not letting you know is just plain weird!

Nappyzoneisabeetrootrunner · 07/05/2009 21:31

thanks you have just remindied me to rsvp for a party on sunday - the parent will think im a loon ringing at 9.20pm but hey ho!

I agree its rude not to but does anyone else feel such a rambling knob when they ring up and have a stringof questions? (i had no iidea what kindof party dd was invited to and if we were to stay or go)

ingles2 · 07/05/2009 21:31

YANsoBU.
T'is ds2's party on sunday. I had to chase a woman down the road for a reply today. Got a curt yeah, in return.
Honestly, I've been trying to plan this for the last fortnight as we're driving 12 kids for a day out.

Itsjustafleshwound · 07/05/2009 21:32

I would just phone the parents and just be a bit arsy 'Hi X, I haven't received a response from you so I was just phoning to confirm ...' - guilt them a bit into some manners ....

Hulababy · 07/05/2009 21:34

I'd phone them or ask at shool.

HecatesTwopenceworth · 07/05/2009 21:34

nope. not unreasonable. Am waiting for approx half the kids invited to ds party to rsvp (well, their parents anyway.)

I need to know, for catering as much as anything! Do I provide food for the number of rsvps and risk twice as many people showing up and there not being enough food, or do I cater for the number of invitees and risk half the food being wasted, or do I go halfway between the 2 and risk a bit too much v everyone going home still peckish?

And party bags?

And cake?

Do people not realise there are COST implications? How hard is it to phone/email/text??

I feel your pain

Original poster
MaryMotherOfCheeses · 07/05/2009 22:05

Thank you. have been off wathcing last night's Desperate Housewives.

I don't have their phone number. Which means I have to loiter in the playground tomorrow to find the parents so i can talk to them.

And (this is embarassing) we have a spare place as one kid has dropped out so No 8 on the list can now come. DS has been asking if this lad can come too, and we've had to say no as we ran out of space in the car.

If the first set of parents had let me know what they're up to, we might have been able to ask No 8 with more notice.

Grrrrrr.......

Bloody parties.

OP posts:
Blondeshavemorefun · 08/05/2009 09:08

yanbu

it is rude not to rsvp to an invite

it takes 30secs to ring/text or catch in playground

if inviting whole class, i found easiest way was to have a list by classroom door and ask parents to sign by their name if they were coming

Original poster
MaryMotherOfCheeses · 08/05/2009 14:22

Oh dear

Spoke to the boy's father today.

Judging by his accent, the family aren't from this country. I hadn't realised.

So it may be that they just don't understand the whole RSVP thing.

But aaaaanyway, the rest of you who do it with no excuse, it's RUDE. Grrrr....

OP posts:
mum23monkeys · 08/05/2009 14:31

yanbu (surely they rsvp in other countries?)

My ds is having a party this weekend. I'm guessing at how many are coming - I've had 4 definite replies out of 20. Great.

endless · 08/05/2009 14:39

Oh god, i have done this twice this week.

My excuse is that i have just had number 4 miscarrigae and it went from my mind, trying not to burrst ito easin the plaground all eotional and pathetic!!!!

2 mums have ased me in the palyground, nd iwent red in the face and said so so sorry but yes, ds will be comingto both parties and i am very sorry.

am crap, but not a savage an not done intentionally

apostrophe · 08/05/2009 14:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

apostrophe · 08/05/2009 14:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

endless · 08/05/2009 14:44

ciiiiiicle of hell..........nnnnnoooooo

please donnnnnbaish me into a circle of heell

key bbourrd playin up now.

feel like codddd

Blondeshavemorefun · 08/05/2009 17:13

endless - obv there are special circumstances

so sorry about your mc xx

pinkstarfish · 08/05/2009 17:22

YANBU at all. I feel your pain

endless -

SugarSpike · 08/05/2009 17:31

I had the same last month, its soooooo frustrating, I had two numbers on the invite or the slip to give back and not only did a few leave it till the last min to let me know a few didnt reply at all, it is rude, there child has been invited it just common courtesy to reply specially when its just a phone call or text. I had to do my own food and party bags etc for the kids who didnt reply just in case they did turn up, they didnt of course,if they'd have told me I could have invited a few kids who were asking if they could come(as I couldnt invite the whole class)
But no YANBU, its annoying

DottedPyjamas · 08/05/2009 18:24

"yanbu (surely they rsvp in other countries?)"

Not in all countries, in Sri Lanka it is not necessary to RSVP children's parties .

I can understand why you are annoyed though OP.

SqueezyDiva · 08/05/2009 22:37

Could you send a polite reminder email to non-responders before you confirmed numbers with your caterers etc.?

Not everyone, even those born and bred in good ole Blighty, is au fait with the whole bourgeois RSVP culture.

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