Felt so embarrassed this morning being shown up by my daughter!

[onthepier]

This morning my friend (who normally drives her dc's to school), knocked on our door to see if we were ready to go as she'd decided to walk today + her dc's wanted to walk with mine.

Anyway, this was 15 mins. before we normally leave, my dd was still on the computer after having repeatedly been told to log off and I was still drying my hair!

My dh answered the door and called up to me. Told him we weren't yet ready and would be 10 mins. or so, so they carried on and said they'd prob see us on the way.

Anyway, soon after we left the house another lady I know with her children caught us up. My dd (aged 10) had woken up in a bad mood and this carried on all the way to school!

"It's your fault we couldn't walk up with our friends, why did you bother drying your STUPID hair, the wind's messed it all up anyway, you're horrible to me, I really don't like you!"

This ranting and screaming continued for this 10 min. walk, with me telling her to stop it and even my friend looking horrified and telling her "not to be so nasty to her nice mum!"

I felt so angry by the time we'd got to school that I told her she's banned from the computer until Saturday, (she likes to e-mail her friends and play games), and she's not allowed a friend over for a sleepover next week now, (we said she could choose somebody).

This ended in her shouting at me to take a punishment away, just as she went in the gate. I'm due to collect her from an after school club soon and still feel upset that she showed me up, do you think I'm being harsh?

Not harsh.
She was brattish.

I don't think you're being harsh, but I don't think she should be on the computer before school.

That's checking the night before postings on MN time

no - at ten she's got to learn a bit of self control. I don't think it matters whether it was in front of someone else or not (tho obviously it made it worse for you) - but from her pov she's got to know that she can't speak to you or anyone else like that.

So I think you're quite right to take away the treats.

First comment is normal from a teenager (but I don't have a 10 yo so could be normal for them, too) and a swift telling off would be my response.

10 minutes of ranting and screaming is Not Good At All. You need to find a way to stop her in her tracks, rather than her being able to carry on.

Banning from computer sounds fair enough. Maybe the sleepover is too far away/too big for a punishment for being rude today - could you say to her, OK, if you can talk politely from now on, we'll think again about the sleepover - but any more episodes like this morning and it will be OFF!

Harsh? Nope.

Her behaviour was totally unacceptable, and you gave her plenry of opportunities to stop.

She could have apologised but she ended up "shouting at me to take a punishment away." My DCs would have got a third one for that until they got the message.

Not harsh at all, but I second cocolepew that computer before school is asking for trouble.

DS is only 5, but he can't have access to any screens in the mornings - just doesn't work out.

Agree with everyone else. No screens in the morning and consequences for being rude to mum.