to not want to play the role of present-fairy yet again?

[OrmIrian]

MIL is bloody hopeless about buying presents for DH. She never seems to get herself organised to get anything until it's too late, and then DH gets a card with 'sorry about the present, I'll send it later'...and later never happens. So since we've been together I have usually had to sort it for her, either find something and tell her, or even buy it for her and she(sometimes) pays me back. It's got to the point where DH finds me something to tell MIL to buy and I am supposed to sort it for her. Last year she didn't bother to ring me until 2 days before when it was too late to get anything delivered, and so yet again DH had a 'later' present that didn't materialise.

So it would appear that not only do I have to find something for the DC and myself to give DH, I also have to for his mum. And then ring her. And then buy it. And if it's like previous years also wrap it for her

I have 3 DC, a full-time job and more than enough other little chores to do without playing present-fairy for a grown woman on behalf of her son. She manages for everyone else (incl me btw) so why can she not do it for DH.

I really resent this. In case you haven't worked that out..

Could you tell her you are too busy and could she please do it herself? You could offer to give her ideas if she's stumped.

I wouldn't do it for her though, you've got enough to do!

DH is a grown-up, his world won't fall apart if his mother forgets to buy him a birthday present, and it will serve her right if she can't be arsed and he's offended.

You'd think so greeny wouldn't you But DH does the usual man thing of not saying how upset he is to her, just sulking at home.

Well, htat's their problem then! They're adults.

Honeslty, knock it on the head or you'll be doing it for the rest of her life

I just wouldn't do it. Problem solved. If DH sulks about it then so be it.

YANBU - don't do it and if dh doesn't get something from his mother, that's her problem and he can take it up with her if he's upset.
If you make it clear to MIL that you haven't got the time/energy etc to do it and so if she wants to get something for her son, she'll have to do it herself from now on, and if she still doesn't, well, that's her problem!
I do wonder about MILs sometimes....in my family, none of the inlaws seem to be able to send dcs anything remotely close to their birthdays, if at all!
Good luck - and enjoy the spare time you'll now have in future years!

My MIL always asks me if my DH wants anything and will get it but if I have no ideas she sorts it out herself.

I wouldn't do it, he's old enough not to care if present a few days late anyway. Sort out your own stuff and just accept some people aren't as organised as you but that doesn't mean you have to do it all for them. If she doesn't bother getting her son a present then he can not bother getting her one and see how she feels about it, although I bet you're one of these women who buys all their husband's presents for them as well.
I'll sort out my kids presents from my relatives if asked, mainly to avoid postage costs as we live away from them. I don't get involved in inlaws presents though, they can liase with husband if necessary.
I don't see why women should get stuck with all the crap jobs.

I mentioned to DH that perhaps he should rign his mother to tell her what he wants for his bday. He muttered a bit and looked uncomfortable. So I went on' because I get a bit fed up always having to sort this out'

And apparently it's a bit unfair as she is getting on now (no really?) and it's hard for her to get to the shops etc etc. .

So I called her today with a bit of a mild self-righteous strop on...and she's already got him a present But I bet he won't like it He prefers me to sort it because I get what he wants.

Ah well my conscience is clear. And next year I will be justified in not bothering as MIL will have covered it. Hurray.

Does your mil have a PC? If so get your dh to do a wish list on amazon, send her the link and let her get on with it

She does and she had bought stuff online before but apparently she can't do it without help of her grandchildren.

Actually I found out the she is having a knee op in a few weeks and she will be incapable of doing much for a while after that. So I think we'll be doing more than just buying presents for her.

I just wouldn't bother anymore. She's a grown up. If she wants your DH and DCs to have gifts at their birthdays, Christmas or whatever, that's up to her. Why've you taken it upon yourself anyway? You do have enough to do as it is.

I started doing this one year for some reason I can't remember now I think that I got fed up of DH getting upset at not getting a present year after years. And then it stuck.

but I've broken the habit now!