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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder where the warm and fuzzy has gone?

31 replies

verBoden · 06/05/2009 10:54

My five-year-old son had his first tennis lesson and it was a disaster. I had made a point of asking the teacher beforehand if it would be OK for him to join a group which was made up of kids who had been playing for a while, and was made to feel I was fussing. The class started with him shouting at the kids to run to the "Baseline!" "Service line!" "Service box!" My son didn't have a clue and, uncharacteristically, started to cry. Rather than help him, the teacher looked horrified and asked whose child he was. My son walked off the court and the teacher didn't make any effort to encourage him to stay on or talk to him afterwards. Isn't sport supposed to be fun? I feel as though I've missed the boat and that five is too old to be a beginner. It's not just with tennis, but with swimming, football, karate. The teacher was clearly an arse but the pressure to train up little ones seems so intense it scares me

OP posts:
RumourOfAHurricane · 06/05/2009 10:56

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RumourOfAHurricane · 06/05/2009 10:58

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mylifemykids · 06/05/2009 11:00

If he didn't have a clue then why did you make a point of asking if it would be OK for him to join a group made up of more experienced children?

Five isn't too old to be a beginner in anything.

TBH I'm confused by your post!

dinkystinky · 06/05/2009 11:00

It does sound a bit hardcore verBoden! I agree that sport is supposed to be fun - maybe you need to start your son off in a beginners class for tennis/swimming etc. as teachers of beginners seem to be a little more understanding/tolerant? It sounds like the tennis coach had no idea how to interact with kids, especially small ones on their first time in the class - not all sports classes are like that. My DS1 (3) does little kickers football classes and loves it but the class is very clearly tailored for small kids who need encouragement and support.

I hope your son isnt too scarred by his experience and you find a good supportive class for him.

MorningTownRide · 06/05/2009 11:00

So when should children be taught to play tennis? The womb?

Aaaah Testicular Tennis Training

SimpleAsABC · 06/05/2009 11:03

Hang on a wee minute,don't you think the OP is saying that she feels the pressure is too intense? Thus agreeing with shineoncrazydiamonds post of 10.58?

Or.. maybe her ds has asked to join a club, or would benefit from a hobby. The fact that he is five might indicate that the OP has been holding back from sending him to something like this, but if he's wanted to, didn't want to stop him?

Also, there is no other mention of attendance at other clubs, again suggesting that the OP is well aware that "kids don't NEED constant clubs"...y'know...

RumourOfAHurricane · 06/05/2009 11:03

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SimpleAsABC · 06/05/2009 11:04

Sorry started writing that after the 2nd response.. Clearly took me a while

JRocks · 06/05/2009 11:05

I read the asking if it was ok to be asking if it wouldn't be too much for her DS.

RumourOfAHurricane · 06/05/2009 11:05

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JRocks · 06/05/2009 11:07

Yeah, there is that. I don't really have any experience in this area, DS is 3, and the only things he does are ones he wants to, IYSWIM.

SimpleAsABC · 06/05/2009 11:12

He doesn't need them, that's my point, perhaps he wanted them!

He's five so probably attends school if not preschool, perhaps other peers have been going for a while.

I thought (although fully agree about needing further clarification) the mention of other clubs was OP assuming everything was the same.

Her ds will be a busy boy if he does all that!

RumourOfAHurricane · 06/05/2009 11:14

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Original poster
verBoden · 06/05/2009 11:21

I am anti after-school clubs in general, except swimming which I think is important,because I think kids need downtime, but felt that I might be being too hardcore the other way. My son was keen to give it a go so I thought I 'd give it a try. I was sucked in but it has only confirmed my gut feelings

OP posts:
Original poster
verBoden · 06/05/2009 11:35

Thanks for the support. It makes me furious that parents take junior sport so seriously, but then I wonder if I am letting my own kids down by not signing them up for anything. Most of the children in my son's class in Year One are pretty proficient at swimming, tennis, football etc. I don't want him to the be the Mr Bean of the group but, at the same time, I think that endless lessons and summer camps are appalling.

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RumourOfAHurricane · 06/05/2009 11:46

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Marne · 06/05/2009 11:48

My 5 year old doesn't do sport (apart from PE lessons), i think 5 is too young for after school clubs unless its something they are really going to enjoy.

slummybutyummy · 06/05/2009 12:50

Shineon - your dancing friend sounds mad! Having said that some parents need the after school clubs as part of childcare (I'm SAHM but some others do). My boys have both done some activities, not loads though DS2 did more earlier at his request.

OP - is it a club run at school by outside provider or completely seperate? Where are you in country? My son did tennis club at age 6 and it was loads of games and raquet skills. Coach should have been aware a 5YEAR OLD (!) beginner wouldn't know tennis terms.

He sounds an arse but I would find somewhere/something else fun so your son doesn't turn anti-clubs altogether.

welshbyrd · 06/05/2009 17:25

why did you ask for him to go into a class of kids who already knew the rules etc etc?

Think this is the dealings of a over pushy parent?

All that asking for him to be placed into a class with already competent tennis kids has done, is made your son feel silly and upset, for not knowing where lines etc etc are,

Why didnt you want him to go into the beginers class? because infact thats what he is

Very bizzare, clubs are to be enjoyed, let him enjoy

IneedAbetterNickname · 06/05/2009 19:05

Shineon, your brother sounds like my SIL, DN did baby swimming lessons at £100 per 10 weeks term, 4 terms to finsh the course, plus they had to buy a special baby wetsuit (I think he had 4 of those too) and special nappy system (again 4 different sizes). He cant swim any better than DS2, who is a couple of months older, all they have for their money is a nice(ish) pic of him swimming under water!

I'm also confused as to why you didn't put him in the beginners class?

screamingabdab · 06/05/2009 19:16

The way I read the OP is that, this was the only class available to the OP, given her son's age, but that the other kids had already been learning for a while. THAT was the point she was making, that kids start learning tennis so early that by 5 you can't be in a Beginners class.

The OP wasn't being pushy, she was concerned her son might be out of his depth, but the teacher didn't listen

Is that right, Verboden?

welshbyrd · 06/05/2009 19:55

the OP stated " I had made a point of asking the teacher beforehand if it would be OK for him to join a group which was made up of kids who had been playing for a while, and was made to feel I was fussing."

I take this as she chose for him to not go into beginners class

If she meant that there was no places in beginners class then i apologies

But im still sure after re-reading the original thread, she requested for him to not join beginners.

RumourOfAHurricane · 06/05/2009 20:08

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mummyflood · 06/05/2009 20:10

The way I read OP was, when she realised the group was semi-established (i.e. kids who had had already been going a while), she confirmed with coach that her DS was a total novice, and would he therefore be ok with more 'experienced' kids, is the correct interpretation, OP?

Tennis IMO is brilliant fun, DS2 goes (although he is 13), and if I were you I would find a different club if your DS is still keen to go and you want him to. This coach does not sound very experienced with this age group. At his age they should be playing 'mini tennis', with sponge balls and a very small portable net. When I have seen little ones playing over the years, it is not so much a 'lesson' as such, but more just good fun and is great for hand/eye co-ordination and general activity, with lots of laughs and encouragement from the coach.

screamingabdab · 06/05/2009 20:20

OP - come back and explain yourself - we are finding it hard to understand what happened !!