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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to write to ds's class teacher?

20 replies

2and30characterslong · 05/05/2009 19:19

ds is a quiet little thing at school and gets a weekly report home (every pupil does)

it is broken down into marks for play time and class time, ds usually get 10/10 every week but this week he only has 5 for class room points.

this comes under 'behavior is unacceptable'

i have asked him about it but he insists that he does not know why.

is it going to look really precious if i write a note asking for it to be explained.

i would feel more comfortable having a quiet word but we were just asked last week to start writing notes to the teacher rather than forming a queue at 9.00 am.

OP posts:
WinkyWinkola · 05/05/2009 19:21

Why not just call the school asking teacher to call you?

Couch your enquiry in a way that you're hoping your DS isn't becoming a troublemaker.......you're trying to help the teacher type thing.

namebacon · 05/05/2009 19:22

how old is he?

benfmsmum · 05/05/2009 19:23

I would write, you need to know why his marks have dropped. Could be nothing, but you still need an explanation.

nickschick · 05/05/2009 19:24

Just write and say ,although I think this could have been cleared up in seconds I can appreciate that a whole group of mums all needing a quick chat can quickly lose you a lot of time in the morning therefore I wonder if you could give me more detail as to why ds gained a 5 in his class points,obviously this is a big drop and im anxious to avoid this continuing many thanks mrs 2and30

chocolateismyonlyweakness · 05/05/2009 19:24

YANBU, no harm in querying this, you just say you would appreciate a word about it in your note back to the teacher.

It's interesting that your ds's school write a note to go home every week. How old is he? My ds's school has never done anything like this! Is it an independent school?

Greensneeze · 05/05/2009 19:25

I think it's pretty crap of the teacher to record such a dramatic drop in behaviour and send it home without so much as a word to you!

in fact I think a weekly report with marks out of ten for behaviour is preposterous

are there any other primary schools near you?

RumourOfAHurricane · 05/05/2009 19:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
2and30characterslong · 05/05/2009 19:26

its a normal state school and he is 7.

they have done this for years now.

OP posts:
Original poster
2and30characterslong · 05/05/2009 19:28

it is a excellent school and i dont really have a problem with the marks out of ten card.

it works towards 'golden time' or something on a friday.

OP posts:
Original poster
2and30characterslong · 05/05/2009 19:28

sorry should say i dont have a problem unless it falls to 5/10!

OP posts:
Greensneeze · 05/05/2009 19:31

ok, I wouldn't be happy with it but - he's your child and it's your choice

that said, I would wan tto clear this up with the teacher - in person - as soon as possible. It seems paradoxical to me that a teacher who sends reports home every week is so dire at actually communicating with parents in any useful way. If his behaviour is unacceptable you should already know about it, and when, and why! IMO.

benfmsmum · 05/05/2009 19:39

We have a "keep in touch" book where we as parents and the teachers can write anything we think is relevant to the child and school. Sending home a "score" without any back up doesn't make sense to me! A teacher won't be able to see all the parents before school starts so sending a note in (as encouraged by the school) would make sense.

steviesgirl · 05/05/2009 20:20

Sorry but the idea of weekly reports giving a child marks out of ten is just horrible for the child imo. No wonder kids feel so insecure and unhappy at school these days. I would demand to speak with the teacher if I were you. Make her find the time. I hope my dd won't be subject to weekly reports when she starts school.

ravenAK · 05/05/2009 20:25

How is the info presented?

If it's a tick sheet or stamps, it could just be that the teacher &/or ds was disorganised about adding the last few stamps for the week?

echt · 05/05/2009 20:43

Yes, I would get in touch with the teacher. No, not in person; such interviews can take up a disproportionate amount of time. The teacher should record unacceptable behaviour in writing in the first place, wouldn't take a second, so on reflection, maybe they SHOULD get tied up in an interview for being so daft.

But, as others have said, what a school! Unacceptable pressure on such young children.

piscesmoon · 05/05/2009 20:44

I don't like the idea of it at all. I would just catch her at the end of the day and ask.

welshbyrd · 05/05/2009 20:53

i would be enraged if my dc"s school sent letters home, asking parents not to ask either before or after school about a problem with thier child, and to put it to paper and send it in that way

cant see how either parent or teacher could get a proper valid point, feelings, etc across in this way, and tbh doesnt really encourage parents to get to know their childrens teachers either.

Regarding the points thing, i would phone the school in the morning, and fully prepare them, that you will be intending on disscussing things with the teacher later on tomorrow afternoon, after all class has left with parents

Greensneeze · 05/05/2009 21:06

I think speaking to a concerned parent is an entirely appropriate use of a teacher's time. Any teacher who refuses to communicate in person has no place in a school IMO.

Original poster
2and30characterslong · 05/05/2009 21:37

the points only get added to the sheet at the end of the week so its not a case of it not being brought up to date on time.

there are 2 boxes per week and on a friday the teacher writes the marks on the card to be send home iykwim.

dd left hers at school on friday and we had a holiday yest so today is the first i have seen it.

OP posts:
seeker · 05/05/2009 21:44

There are two things I find unacceptable here. The weekly report card is outrageous.

But the teacher not being prepared to speak to parents about issues that concerns them is UTTERLY outrageous! What if your child came out in floods of tears about something, or with a black eye - are you supposed to write a note to the teacher about it?

What if you can't write, or can't write English, or are too embarrassed about your spelling or handwriting to write?

Wait for the teacher after school tomorrow (can understand why 9.00 isn't a good time) and ask for an explanation.

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