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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to *hate* World of Warcraft?

49 replies

WoTmania · 05/05/2009 18:54

I know I'm not....
I hate hate hate it.
DH loves it. I have wangled 3 WoW free nights a week but it really galls me that DH would rather spend time on that than in my crabby unpleasant tired delightful, serene company.
I also think they should outgrow it by the time they reach their 20s rather than, in their late 30s/early 40s, meeting up to do 'Naxs' and 'Dungeons' and killing 'bosses' but that's another AIBU

OP posts:
PortoPandemico · 05/05/2009 20:19

I sent DH the detox link at work. You just know what he will say in reply....

BillSilverFoxBuchanan · 05/05/2009 20:21

YABU to hate WoW. It's a valid form of entertainment.

YANBU for wanting to have a relationship where you don't have to fight for time against an online game.

PortoPandemico · 05/05/2009 20:21

YANBU by the way.

screamingabdab · 05/05/2009 20:25

BigBella As long as you are both happy ....

BigBellasBeerBelly · 05/05/2009 20:26

Ha yes! Makes a real change from sitting gormlessly in front of the TV every night

littlelozz · 05/05/2009 20:42

No way AYBU - I bloody hate this game!!

Hubby and I nearly split up over it as he would much rather play that than help with DD1 or anything to do with tidying up. Or even worse spend time with me. He would come home from work and sit on the PC till 4/5 am and then be cranky all the next day. His day off which he looked after DD1 meant she sat in her bouncer as he played stupid raids or nax or other bollocks.

Thankfully he seen the error of his ways after I walked out and things improved greatly. He stills plays it but knows how I feel about it. Good job as DD2 will be here in two days. Must show him that site although he has admitted that he's cutting down so he can help more. Very mature for my hubby lol

Naetha · 05/05/2009 21:28

Personally I can't stand WoW, but I DO play a similar (but obviously much better!) game called Warhammer Online with my husband.

It's always about moderation with these things - we only play when DS is asleep, we always share mealtimes (i.e. no tv dinners) and generally spend plenty of time together away from the computer.

For those that seem to be whinging about it unreasonably (and not being funny, but you're wondering why your fellers want to immerse themselves in a fantasy reality when you're nagging them to do tidying and lawnmowing??) how about trying it? I bet most people who play WoW or WAR or whatever would love their partners to play with them and to understand the game from their perspective. It can be a lot of fun, and as long as you don't let it overpower your life, can be a great way of spending time together.

Original poster
WoTmania · 06/05/2009 07:54

Naeta - I probably would enjoy it if I played it but then it would be even worse. We'd never talk at all and I'd never get anything done. I'v had to keep my books upstairs so I only read them last thing in bed or the DC would be ignored all day while I 'just finish this page/chapter/book' and if I played WoW it would be 10 times worse. I have threatened to though so he can't get on there.
I also would like my life back before WoW - He used to play chess, twice a month at one club twice a month at another and county games when they came up (usually once a month) he gave that up ostensibly to be at home more. I'd rather he was out playing chess at least then I know I'm not going to get much help. Although in fairness he does get them ready for and into bed of an evening and gets up at 5 with them at weekends(and plays WoW while they play). It just means there isn't that much time for us as a couple - we used to sit and chat [shock} while playing cards and stuff. (no tv because he'd just watch it too much)

OP posts:
oopsiedoopsie · 07/05/2009 09:22

Its unreasonable to hate a game, but not to hate that you feel you are being cheated out of time with your other half because of it.

I play a similar game a couple of nights a week, mainly when my missus has her mates round or is catching up on 'cack' telly she has recorded. Would I play more if I could? Probably yes, but not at the expense of spending time with the family.

SouthernLights · 07/05/2009 09:34

Hate the player not the game.

Me, DH, and some of our very close friends are big fans of this game, but at various points we have all recognised that we are playing it too much and cut back, or stopped altogether. It IS possible! If you feel your DH is going overboard then your issue is with him not wanting to spend time with you, and you need to make sure that banning the game isn't just going to drive him into the arms of another "mistress", like the pub (which would be much more expensive!)

Alternatively you could get another PC, start an account and play with him...

Original poster
WoTmania · 07/05/2009 09:42

SL - he always says 'at least I'm not down the pub/out playing chess'. In reality he wouldn't be down the pub - we can't afford it and he didn't before he started playing it. I think one of the main problems is that his friends, who don't have dcs and don't get up at 5am, all play it and can play til later so he' does nax or dungeons and gets roped in for hours.
I don't want another computer, one is bad enough, and like I have said before if I played nothing would get done. Besides, I dn't want all my interaction with him to virtual characters running around doing quests.

OP posts:
SouthernLights · 07/05/2009 10:06

Okay, that's fair enough (I was sort of joking but I have seen it work for other couples before). My other point still stands though, you need to address him not the game. He needs to realise how much of a problem it is and take the decision to stop or cut back; if you "ban" him then chances are he'll just start playing behind your back.

How about some sort of timetable where you both agree how many hours a week he plays, maybe cutting down a bit at a time? How about suggesting that you get an equal amount of time to read - that might bring home to him how much time he's wasting spending on it.

Original poster
WoTmania · 07/05/2009 10:23

Well, we have a def 3 nights he doesn't play but limiting it would be really awkward as once he's in whatever thing he's in he needs to finish it on the whole.
I wasn't massively serious about it btw, this thread has got a lot more so than I meant it to.
He's also said he'll try to be off it by 9.30-10 on 2 days too.
Its really the lack of company and talking that bugs me . I might as well talk to a brick wall.

OP posts:
mamadiva · 07/05/2009 10:27

I hate it!

Only because my step dad decided he would run away with a troll he met on it though...

that sounds funny am being serious though he was having an affair for 8 months on WOW and has since buggered off to live with her

mamadiva · 07/05/2009 10:32

Good god I did'nt actually read the thread before I posted that and it does seem like a dangerous game!

FatFree · 07/05/2009 10:51

My OH used to bug me with a similar game and i'd usually go to bed first while he was killing some monster or other!

Then one day i actually sat down and watched and he let me create a character on his account and i was hooked!

I bugged him to get me a pc and my own copy of the game and at first we played together, then he got bored and the roles reversed

He'd be in bed while i was killing some monster or other, hell 3 of my characters even got married to other gamers and at one wedding my OH was best man!

Dont play it much these days, too busy on here and on facebook, but i am still more addicted to online stuff than he is. Its hard to cut back, but at some point you have to step away from the pc

Morloth · 07/05/2009 11:52

If it wasn't WoW it would be something else. Addictive personalities always find something.

DH and I dabble in WoW, sometimes we play sometimes we don't - the game IS a lot of fun, but when you are a grown up with responsibilities you have to be aware that you simply can't invest so much time into a game.

Fortunately my addictive personality is coupled with a short attention span!

pissedwife · 30/05/2009 07:00

I feel like I have lost my husband as he lives for this wow game! I do not know what to do....Do I leave him?

Longtalljosie · 30/05/2009 07:52

Well, what have you said to him about it, pissedwife, and how often is he on it?

My husband's on it every day but has learned not to complain if I ask for help cleaning the kitchen / to eat at the table. He used to but has realised how unreasonable it is. So while it's a big part of our life, I'm OK with it at the moment.

Although I read out wotmania's post about having told him something and then him swearing blind I haven't. I hadn't put two and two together but of course that's why it happens!

paranoidmother · 31/05/2009 07:07

I love WOW, my DH use to play it and then I had a go and got hooked. I find I play the game because I can dip in and out of it whilst the kids are going to sleep (They use to be terrible as going straight to sleep). I tend not to do dungeons, yes I check the post and auctions. My original guild was full of over 30s and most of the them were couples.
I have 4 characters depending on what i'm feeling like. I don't do it every night and it's difficult to stop if you get hooked on finishing a certain quest but I tend not to do anything to big as I know i'll be on it for hours.

I get all my other jobs done, don't do it if the DC's need anythign or DH does. I sometimes am not on it for a week/10 days or sometimes a couple of times a day. In fact as DH has gone out and the kids are not up yet I was thinking of sneaking in a half hour before they got up, instead of doing chores on a sunday morning.

paranoidmother · 31/05/2009 07:08

Meant to say that for about £20 per 3 months it's less than only one of us going to the pub/night out and means DH and I are together can still chat and look after the kids without it costing a fortune.

BBisfinallyPG · 31/05/2009 10:50

I AM WITH YOU!!! i dont hate the game just DP's friggin obsession with it!! bloody ridiculous!! he has two other hobbies which take him out of the house a night a week, both working full time with a baby on the way and he wonders why i get narked when he says can i go on WOW on your laptop!! especially when im on it!! god forbid I should want to use MY laptop!!! bloody bugger! i have told him firm that if im going to be at home with the baby all day then WOW is going out the fricking window... he always say but i talk to you, i dont ignore you...absolute bollericks, its the only thing ive known him go without dinner for!! bloody men

rant over, as you were

mindalina · 31/05/2009 10:59

Yes YABU tis a smashing game, though yanbu to be annoyed at DH for spending all his time on it. You should give it a go though - I took it up cos DP playing it all the time got on my nerves and I wouldn't be without it now. Find it a fantastic replacement for a social life since we don't get to go out much (not much money, no babysitters)

Also if he's in a raid I can tell the rest of the raid he has to go and make me a cup of tea and they will help me pester him to do it quicker

paranoidmother · 31/05/2009 11:41

mindalina - raid/dungeon - that is what we do. Can do them together and also be able to let other people know where we've gone. (the kids that play don't understand about getting up to put the kids back to sleep!)

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