to think my pregnant 19 yr old sil shouldnt be moaning on fb that she cant find a man?

[IneedAbetterNickname]

Umm, title says it all really! LOL she is 20 weeks pregnant because some twat man boy she met on the internet, and Mil stupidly allowed him to move in. They didn't use contraception, because the condoms were normally downstairs in her bag! Since then she has had one bf, until other Sil told him that the 19 year old was pg. Now she is on fb moaning that she doesn't have a man.

AIBU to think she should concentrate on her and her unborn baby?

You are not being unreasonable but she is 19, this will happen in time but your average 19 year old will be 'me', 'me', 'me'.

Yea this is true! Shame she didnt think that way instead of jumping into bed with anyone looks at her!

I was also pregnant at 19, and was no where near this selfish! then again me and DP had been together 3 years, and were trying for a baby, so I guess different circumstances!

I wasn't selfish at 19, I didn't think clearly though. Maturity takes time for some people. She'll see the error of her ways in the years to come. She will need some support though.

she'll realise when the baby is born whats important to her. it could be the making of her. it was for me at 19.

Me and DP were hoping it would be the making of her, but MIL and other SIL won't let it be SIL has already said she is going to drive over everyday to look after the baby (despite the fact that she has a 2 yr old and will be 6month old at the time, and lives an hour away! And has just started childminding)

Me and DP have told her we are there for her if she needs us, to offer advice and help, not take over!

as long as she knows that you are there for her. my mother was very good and did help as much as she could but i found it a bit too much and made the decision to move out when ds was 4 months old. at the time mum thought it was a huge mistake but she will be the first to tell you now that it was the best thing i could have done. i learned to be the kind of mum i wanted to be and i knew i could always turn to her when i needed anything. we are far closer now than we ever were before ds was born. i know its very frustrating (because my mum told me so) but she has to learn her own way and if she makes mistakes, at least theyre her own and she has to take responsibility for them. unless you think she is putting the baby at risk then try not to interfere as it will only make her want to run away screamimg. as for the complaining about not having a man, her priorities will change as soon as that baby looks at her. she is young, and probably doesnt have the faintest idea what is ahead of her. just be her mum. she will appreciate you one day.

Message withdrawn

What's wrong with her wanting a boyfriend? Just being pregnant doesn't mean her sex/love life has to stop!

Its not that she shouldn't want/have a boyfriend, I just think she should be putting her unborn baby first.

I am pg and alone and sometimes its scarey and I would love a bf to hold my hand, but I have accepted that this is unlikely and in reality I am alone and focusing on my baby for many years to come.
At 19 it might be really daunting for her hence her 'need' to have a man.

sounds like she's scared/would like a man for support etc...does mean she just wants a man for sex! It also doesnt mean she doesnt give a toss about her baby either!

Where is her dad ? This all sounds fairly typical teenage stuff, doesn't mean she'll be a bad mum and if you want to help tell the MIL and SIL to but out, or get the health visitor to tell them, they need telling.