to want the babysitter not to smoke in front of my kids?

[rimmer]

As simple as that really! Kids came home the last 2 days telling me all about babysitter putting white sticks in her mouth and fire coming out of it. Then sitting there pretending to smoke. I know this is natural to copy adults, but AIBU to ask the babysitter not to smoke in front of the kids?

Absolutely not unreasonable at all. I would be horrified if our babysitter smoked in front of dd.

Is this inyour home or hers? If hers, yabu. If yours, you are not.

YANBU
a sacking offence, no matter whose home
you say babysitter- as in, a teenager?
in which case I'd talk to their parents as well as telling them their services no longer required.

No- definitely not unreasonable, unless she's offering her services as a freebie.

NO! you're paying her. if you don't want to to smoke in front of DCs say so.

is it her house or yours?

Yesterday my step son, age 19 watched them for me and was paid and smoked in front of them. Today a friends daughter watched them with her friend and the friend was smoking.
I know I can't protect my kids from smoking, but they were fascinated by it and I just don't want it done right in front of them. Apologies and no offence to anybody who disagrees, just my personal preference

also, not in my house, at park etc but today the friend was in the car with the kids smoking

If you are paying them then can't you say no smoking or no deal?

YANBU they should smoke in another room where dc's can't see, or even better not at all around them.

If you are paying then insist on not smoking.

You are paying them so can make rules. The trouble is they can say "in that case get another babysitter". You might have to compromise and say "not in an enclosed space like the car".

I realise that you regard smoking in the park as a bad example for them, but it's the lesser evil and they are going to see other people smoking anyway.

If anything their fascination with something they don't normally see "white sticks in her mouth and fire coming out of it" might backfire on you (no pun intended) and make it seem mysterious and interesting.

depends how much you need the babysitting but i would just say no smoking around my DCs while you are looking after them, particularly in an enclosed space like a car.

if it's your step son looking after them don't they see him smoke anyway sometimes?

Right will speak to them. They don't really see step son smoking cos I don't allow him to smoke in our house and we live in a flat so he can't smoke in garden iyswim!
Thanks all

assume you knew he smoked and asked him to bs

did you ask him NOT to smoke when you asked him to bs?

but agree that you can tell him not to smoke if you are paying him, but you cant make him not smoke if he sees them at park/garden and not paying him iyswim