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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Stepkids in bed?

20 replies

StercusAccidit · 03/05/2009 09:04

Just wonderising..what would be your view on this?

Am trying to prove a point.

Used to drive me nuts so i put a ban on it lol. Stepkids come into bedroom (btw my own kids were also banned unless it was an emergency as soon as they were 4/5) jump all around the bed, tread on me, as soon as i got out of bed, ie, to go to the loo, i would come back and space would be occupied by two kids who then refused to move.. if i wanted to get back into bed i would be literally clinging to the edge.

AIBU to be pissed off at this situation and was i 'YABU' to put a stop to it?

Thanks!

OP posts:
Original poster
StercusAccidit · 03/05/2009 09:05

YANBU sorry

OP posts:
tessofthedurbervilles · 03/05/2009 09:08

YANBU this happened to me and the final straw was when one of the kids jumped in to bed (we were naked as we'd just finished y'know....) and kicked me right in the fango...grrrrr!

Original poster
StercusAccidit · 03/05/2009 10:08

Your own kids or steps if you don't mind me asking? I was worried it would seem like an evil step mother thing but my own kids don't do it so i'm trying to use this to explain to the TWAT this is why i didn't like his kids doing it, said i would get other womens opinions lol ty for your answer!

on your behalf about being kicked in the fanjo... You too then!

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RealityIsMyOnlyDelusion · 03/05/2009 10:14

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caykon · 03/05/2009 10:14

As long as it is the same rule for all the children, then there is no problem stopping it

namebacon · 03/05/2009 11:06

put a lock on the inside of the bedroom door.

cupofteaplease · 03/05/2009 11:14

I have the same situation as RealityIs MyOnlyDelusion- my dd1 is dh's stepchild, but to all intents and purposes he is her Dad, so the 'step' part of it is completly irrelevant. Yes, both girls come into our bed in the morning of a weekend.
Doesn't bother me, until I want to get up and make the bed, then they have to get out.
Wouldn't put a ban on it tbh because it doesn't bother me. If the ban is universal for your own children and step children then I don't see a problem.

crokky · 03/05/2009 11:17

I can see your pov if you ban your own kids and your stepkids.

However, as a stepchild myself, it can be very hard when you are allowed to do certain things at your mum's, but now that your dad has a new partner, you can't do those things any longer with your dad. We had this (not about going in the bed, other things). My brother resented it a lot (that my stepmother was dictating what we could do with our father). Watch out!

kidowner · 03/05/2009 11:36

Jump into one of their beds if you need to sleep a while longer!

I think it's lovely that your stepkids would want to pile into your bed.

Do people feel differently about stepkids or do you love them as much as your own?

It would be very awkward if you liked your own kids in bed with you but not your stepkids.

But then again, if they are someone else's children eyebrows could potentially be raised.

So best to jump ship I presume, and not expect to lie in once the dc are up no matter how early?!

ChippingIn · 03/05/2009 11:40

SA - are you back with your P?

ChippingIn · 03/05/2009 11:40

SA - are you back with your P?

Alambil · 03/05/2009 11:48

SA... what's going on? am worried

Original poster
StercusAccidit · 03/05/2009 11:53

No lol not a chance in hell..
Just trying to explain that i wasnt being the wicked stepmother...

I never dictated anything apart from 'come off your xbox and play with your bleedin kids'

And tell him to put a smile on his face when he was grumping about coming to the park with us (torn away from his xbox )

I don't mind ds being in bed with us, we co-sleep, and i feed him in bed, I wouldn't really have minded the dsc's, i loved them as my own tbh and stood up to xp often about them, but i got pissed off with going to the loo and coming back to find them jumped into my grave and then not moving so i and ds had the edge of the bed. Think it made me feel like .. i dont know the words,
sort of a stranger in my own house?

OP posts:
Original poster
StercusAccidit · 03/05/2009 11:54

Oooo hi reality i'm doing a lot better...
How are you? Got rid of the stalkers? Glad you decided to stay xxx

OP posts:
Original poster
StercusAccidit · 03/05/2009 11:59

Also, he wouldn't have liked it if ds1 had gotten into bed with us and kneed him in the nads

Same rule for them all, you can't go wrong.

OP posts:
Alambil · 03/05/2009 11:59

explaining to him you mean? or us?

Sorry - I ws just gonna say if it's the first, then why bother? he'll NEVER accept that you're normal and right and loved the kids, much like my ex NEVER accepted that he raped and battered me.... it's just the way they're programmed it seems

RealityIsMyOnlyDelusion · 03/05/2009 12:05

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HecatesTwopenceworth · 03/05/2009 12:13

how old are they? if they are 3 or 4 or so, YABU, if they are 21, then not so much

The thing is - it is not one rule for your biological children and another for your step-children, it is the same rule for all, based on your own preferences.

And I am sure if they needed you, (nightmare for eg) they could come in for a cuddle, same as your bio-children. I don't think you are BU at all.

Original poster
StercusAccidit · 03/05/2009 13:01

they were 6 and 8.

but it felt like coming back into the room and being stared at as if to say 'we're not going to move' .. odd feeling, i just didnt like it, if they had needed us/their dad, yes, but not the case here, they used to just walk in until i flipped and told them to start knocking the door.

didnt want to lock it in case they needed us and didnt hear the door.

i know i'm flooging a dead horse with mr 'theyre MY kids' ... unless it involves cooking, cleaning up sick/poo.

i'm just a bit frustrated at being painted a bitch, but you lot have sorted me out lol x

OP posts:
CapnScurvySeaWitch · 03/05/2009 21:48

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