..or naive to be shocked to hear this

[Gunnerbean]

My 8 year old DS reported to me that at playtime one the (8 year old) girls in his class told one of his friend to "shag the pole" (they were standing near a structure which is held up with poles). He then gestured to me what she had done - which was a thrusting motion!

My DS doesn't know what "shag" means and wouldn't understand the gesture either. I wasn't about to do any explaining so just told him that "shag" was a rude/swear word and that if he was overheard using it at school he'd be in big trouble and quickly closed the conversation!

Am I being unreasonable/terribly old fashioned to believe that that children of 8 shouldn't even be aware of sex yet really, let alone the seamier side of it? ot am I just being naive and not very "down with the kids" to think that they don't know much about it?

I found what I heard shocking, vile and a real shame too.

I might add that the child who said this is supposed to be a "nice" little girl who comes from a well to do well-balanced nuclear family and lives in a nice house in a nice area!

What is the world coming to and what will she be like at 14 if she's like this at 8

Yes, it's shocking and horrible, but if she has an older sibling/cousin/friend/whatever you can bet your life she's probably heard it from them. Children have an inate ability to pass on these little nuggets of wisdom, unfortunately.

Thank your lucky stars it wasn't fuck.

Shag is quite tame in comparrison (think austin powers).

However, I would hate to hear any reference to sex coming out of any DC's mouths at 8.

I doubt she really understands what it means and has seen it/heard it from an older child or something on telly.

I found out what the 'F-word' was at the age of 8 from a school friend's elder sister and remember being rather disappointed that it was such a small, insignificant word - there was such a hoo-hah about ooh, the F-WORD that I expected it be some magnificent word of power, not a measly 1-syllable thing...

I think it's fine and even important for kids to be starting to be aware of and curious about what sex is at 8. However, "shag the pole" is a vile, sexist expression and I wouldn't be happy to hear an 8 year old saying something so sleazy at all.

Gunnerbean, YANBU!

I am always when I hear little ones swearing. Once after school I heard a little boy in DS's class call him a F...ing d.ck, they were 6 at the time. Fortunately the mum was not too far and I got straight back to her, poor lady was mortified. And yes, the little boy in question has got siblings who are much older than him but IMO it does not really excuse it!

My DS1 is 9 - i continually hear about 'humping'...bloody kids in his class

I once had a delightful little 5 year old stand up in class and announce she would sing a song for us.
The opening line was
"I Wanna Fuck A Dog In The Ass"

Yep - teenage brother -Blink 182 fan

I would be very annoyed if DD came home talking in those terms, but, I think at this age (DD is 8), an awareness of sex is becoming part of the norm. There's so much sexualisation of our society, that it's inevitable that children are going to be exposed to the seedier sides of things. DD knows all the information about where babies come from etc, so I suppose if she came home talking about 'shagging' then I'd simply explain that it was a crude term for sex.

Mind you, DD is aware that sex is for pleasure as well as procreation, so I guess I'd try and steer the conversation round to how sex is portrayed, how 'silly' things are heard in the playground and how she'd no doubt get into trouble at school if she were to repeat some of the things heard....

Shag the pole is pretty vile.

However, YABUish - 8 year olds tend to know how babies are made.

tbh it wouldn't surprise me at all - 8yrs old doesn't matter whether they're in the 3 tier school system or the 2 tier school system they're going to be mixing with children up to YR6 age who will know what this stuff is (sort of LOL) - so yes they'll copy it.