This woman is making my worklife a misery! AIBU to say something to her?

[cheekster]

I have only just returned back to work after 10mo maternity leave.

Everyone else at work have been fantastic, really inviting and supportive, asking how ds is and keeping me up to date with things.

But one woman is being dreadful! Ignoring me, making snide comments e.g. 'I can tell youve been off 10 months,' making a huge thing out of small mistakes I make and generally making fun of me and trying to ridicule me.

I thought it was strange when she never came to visit me when DS was born (I visited her with gifts when her DD was born) We did used to be good friends and have known each other ages. But I didnt make a huge thing of it.

But it is getting to the point that I dont want to go to work because of her.

So I had a little word and asked if she was ok (but was quite vague) and she just brushed me off. I told her I was finding it hard being back and needed all the support I could possibly get. But still she continued with her snide comments.

So, I think Im going to have a sharp word with her and tell her how she is making me feel. AIBU to do so?

wow, why would she be like that, surely ehs took leave when her dd was born?? is she jealous that you have been off? i would say to her but i would also mention to your manager that you have noticed a bit of tension from her and tell manager that you are going to have a word that way you have managerial back up if she doesnt respond well. how awful.

TBH I wouldn't do any sharp remarks - that's a bit unprofessional really.

You could be assertive and speak up when she makes what you think is a snide remark - she may be trying to be amusing, and coming across the wrong way.

Talk to your line manager too.

Oh, and remember, not everyone at work is going to be interested in your baby

The only reason why I feel she may be like this is due to me being able to return part-time.

Due to financial reasons she has had to return full time after having her DD. I do feel for her, it must be difficult ...

It has got to the point where other members of staff have noticed how unkind she is with me and have commented. So yes, I think I may have to go to my manager

But I dont want to really, like I said, we were once good friends

office life is a bitch isnt it!

i think your instinct is probably right.
just carry on being nice to her and perhaps she will mellow?

did she have less maternity leave as well?

yes she did, about 4 months I think

when i returned to work part time after ds was born, another girl had returned 3 months earlier full time and she started making comments about part timers. it was jealousy and i knew it so i ignored it but if she had said anything out of line i would have said something then. she got over it when she got pregnant again and then got her part time hours. i hope she remembers the silly comments she made.

I think you are probably right, I'll have to try to bite my tongue a little longer.

I don't think you should bite your tongue, cheekster. I think you should have a response ready - along the lines already suggested - 'X, that was rather hurtful/unpleasant/uncalled for.' Be calm but firm and try to use a neutral tone. That, in my opinion, would stay on the right side of the line between sticking up for yourself and being sharp or unpleasant back.

If that doesn't work, I suspect you will have to go to your manager, but I can understand why you would be reluctant to do this.