To leave selfish little oik in his room til bedtime...

[CKelpie]

Bit of background...

1. Was out of work from Oct to Jan following redundancy so no takeaways for a while - I have only recently felt financially secure enough to loosen the belt and treat DS and I.

2)There is a rule in our house that we all sit down together and don't start eating until we are all there.

3)I am prementstrual.

Friday night and we spontaneously go for indian takeaway, arrive home and get caught chatting to neighbour on the way in, tell ds (who is nagging) "Just hang on, I will be there in a few mins"

It was 3 or 4, tops. OK maybe 6 or 7.

I get in and DS (going on 10) is polishing off his portion of pilau and king prawn korma.

I ask about us sitting down together and sharing a treat? He is full and going upstairs. See the red mist.

Cue huge rant from me about him being selfish and doing as he pleases with disregard for others in the house.

Told him to stay in his room til bedtime - I was so angry (hormones) I could have merrily battered him.

Went up to make friends before he went to sleep but am still silently peeved, I'm really bearing a grudge this time. He is growing up so much but is sometimes such a selfish toad!

Come on Mumsnet flamers - tell me off. What level of perspective is needed?

Disclaimer... am hormonal so may bite. Plus I have wine now too! [grrr]

Ha, it will only get worse.

Brace yourself.

YABU

Sorry, but think you are being rather unfair. Punishment doesn't fit the crime - and you were at fault in the first place. Am prepared to bet it was more than seven minutes ? the person who is distracted always imagines whatever it is they are doing has only taken a moment or so.

(I can see why you might be peeved if it was something you'd cooked, but not over a take-away, tbh.)

Awwww he was hungry and couldn't wait. Maybe he thought he would get it out, then maybe he thought he would have a forkful or two while waiting for mummy to finish ahem nattering and then lo and behold it was all gone..

he ate it quick didn't he?

/scarpers

No flaming from me.

D'ya think he'll get the message (or just roll his eyes and think "that woman is MAD" . My little toad is 8).

He's probably growing and couldn't wait

I think YABU, why should he sit and wait whilst his dinner is getting cold whilst you chat outside...if you wanted to eat together then why didn't you come in straight away?

Why is that he is in the wrong for eating but you aren't in the wrong for being late?

What would happen if it was dinner time but he was late coming in from playing in the garden? Would you be mad at him for being late or would you be in the wrong for wanting to eat?

But it was a rare treat!
And we have rules!
And it really wasn't that long...just a conversation, standing in the rain, about a tree opposite that the bloody council had massacred all because the scaffy wagon can't get up our UNADOPTED road! I'm going to complain (she says in the throws of PMT).

I think it's a tall order for a nearly 10yo (or anyone really) to sit and wait while his dinner goes cold because you are having a chinwag

and it's a silly rule anyway - for whom is it a treat? Obviously not for your ds, as he was happy enough to eat his separately. Are you cross because he spoiled YOUR treat?

aww poor lad. but hormones dictate!! i wasnt particularly sensitive to ds today, maybe shouted a bit more than he deserved. tomorrows a new day.

As my DS would say "you're a meaner"

and you must have been more than a few minutes if he'd had time to dish up his portion and finish it?

It's a treat because we hardly ever have takeaway anyway. And I really think sitting down to dinner together is important, I know it's just the two of us but I think that makes it more important!

Granted I should have left the conversation earlier....

AIBU By Stealth Alert - my neighbour was on the edge of tears about the tree. Does that make a difference?

if thats the worst you have from him, Id say you're doing ok. you dont want to know how bad my sons behaviour has been today!

Yes, perhaps the treat meant more to me than him.

After all, it's just grub ffs.

sorry but if you buy a meal for a treat you go in and eat it, not stand around chatting and letting it go cold.
i'd agree with the previous poster about you maybe being outside for longer than you thought.

otherwise he ate it bloody fast didn't he?????

you weren't unreasonable to talk to your neighbour about the tree, you were unreasonable to blame your ds for eating his dinner rather than sitting waiting while it got cold

and if it is just the two of you, and he doesn't think eating it on his own sspoiled the treat for him, then you are just annoyed that he spoiled YOUR treat. I don't mean to attack you, but I do think YABU. I would apologise to him and let him out of his room if I were you.

...I'd like to qualify my post by saying that I would have felt upset just as you did in this situation, I like us to eat as a family sometimes too - but I think I would call it sod's law rather than blaming him IYSWIM

crikey. he took it in, put it on a plate and ate it all in 6 or 7 minutes?

really?

hmmmmmmm...

I suspect you may have been a wee bit longer than that!!!

and - your neighbour was nearly in tears because of a bloody tree? [boggle]

have a nice day tomorrow and enjoy the weekend. this isn't worth stressing over although I really can imagine HOW YOU FELT!

can you do another treat - not a spending money one, just a nice thing - so you both can have a nice time and no-one has to back down?

Oh just WTP.

what's WTP?

what is WTP?

Pirate talk me hearty!

walk the plank?