To say DP can't spend our savings on his car AGAIN

[shinyshoes]

Breif hoistory.

I drive and DP drives. We both have cars. I don't need one bit it comes in handy for running the children around, doing large amounts of shopping and coming home from work late at night. He has to have a car for his job.

He got this job about 3 years ago. He was told he had to have a reliable car as part of that job as he would have to go on callouts to the elderly. We borrowed some money of his mum and dad to buy him a decent car, it was 2500.00 and last month we paid them off. I have never had a 'nice' car , i'm always bottom of the pile so i've had cars 10 years or older. The car I have at the moment is a bucket of crap, but it's reliable it gets me to where I need to go so i'm not that bothered.

I've not really paid out on repairs for my car, I must drive over glass alot as I pay out for tyres quite often but other than that it goes through the MOT.I'm not sure how much DP has paid out, it comes out of his 'pocket money' but I know that we had to pay (out of the savings) £160.00 recently for something on his car.

Our close friend is a mechanic and he's said that the car needs a new head gasket. He's given us a quote for £850. Now I know what's going to happen, DP will either 1) take cash off the credit card OR 2) want to use some of our savings to pay for it.

Now £850.00 is alot, infact I pointed out to the mechanic that's it's more than what i've paid for my cars. I think the most expensive one was £650.00

At the moment he is using my car but hates it. The heater dosent work, it isn't power sterering and the seat is too low down I don't care if he hates it , it's a car and it's more than what he's got at the moment. It's mine and I manage. We have tried to use just one car but it proved too difficult in the past, it restricts the freedom I have with the children but I am willing to give it another go as we both work and most of the time I am within walking distance.

AIBU to say he is not using our savings on a new head gasket that even the mechanic has said might not even solve the problem.

He also said if the head gasket is cracked the car will have to be thrown as it isn't worth paying out for.

TIA

what are the savings for? something specific? or a rainy day?

No the savings are for nothing specific. But I work hard to put 85% of my wages into that savings account. It's our account.

Well I say it's not earmarked for anything, that but DP is nearing 40 and we want to buy a house so we need a deposit. We haven't been away for years not abroad and I would like to go away. I want a nicer car, ive always had heaps of crap, It's my turn.

The money isnt earmarked for anything but we paid his mum and dad off the £2500.00 for the loan we owed them to pay for the damn thing and bloody typical, the car, less than a month later, needs major work.

Am I being selfish? We have another car, mine, but he dosen't like it.

If he needs a working car for his job then repairs need to be paid for.

imo if your a family it all should YOUR money.
none of this his and mine etc.

but that sounds ALOT for a head gasket, i think we got quoted £300

So, say for instance I give him whats left of the savings he buys ANOTHER car and something goes wrong again. Do we use whatever we have saved AGAIN for a new car. Where does it end?

AIBU to say 'here, here's my car, it's not a 2002 Mondeo but it's OK , it gets me to where I need to get to. Take it and use this'.

we don't do his money my money, it's the way I've worded it, but it's OUR savings to spend on US and OUR family, not for HIM to spend on another car for HIMSELF

Also the mechanic said It might not even solve the problem even if we do pay out for it.

I trust him with my life and I know he wouldn't stripe us up so i know that the quote is legit

£850 seems excessive for a head gasket IMO. He is right though that if the head gasket goes, the whole engine will need replacing.

If you are driving the car and the temperature looks higher then normal, stop and switch of the engine immediately. You might just prevent the cylinder head warping and having to pay out for a new engine.

Does your oil have water in it? Can you see white creamy gunk when you open the oil filler cap? This is a sign of head gasket failing.

Out of interest, what car does your DP drive?

"He was told he had to have a reliable car as part of that job as he would have to go on callouts to the elderly."

Sounds like it's get a new car or get a new job.

It's not as if he's buying toys.

Cross posts

What is the actual problem? IIRC Mk3 Mondeos are notorious for cooling system faults.

he drives a 2002 Mondeo.

Entertain me i'm a thicko

He had problems with his car last year I think. The problem was fixed and he said that when he got it back the 'power' weren't there like it used to be, the mechanic has just knocked, (he's a close firned of our, a lovely guy that always sorts our cars out if things go wrong, he is also our childrens godparent. This job was passed on to a friend of his that puts our cars through the MOT. He has just knocked and baffled me with words like gasket and other stuff I can't remember and it's the head gasket, he has said that it (might) have cracked, he dosen't know yet but if it is cracked, it will flood the engine and that's it bugggered basically.

DP has to ring him when he gets out of bed as he knows I can't understand things like this.

Don't know about oil and water and stuff I don't drive it. the quote for replacing the head gasket is £850.00

.... am i the only one who thinks as your DH needs his car for work, its not an unreasonable request? how else is he to earn money for your family? imo 1000 wont keep a family going for very long without an income,or you could give him your car and buy a bus pass?

I am willing to give him my car yes. But he dosen't like it he says because it dosen't have power steering and the seat is too low. To me these aren't good enough excuses.

can you not buy head gasket on line and find another mechanic to fit it ? will be cheeper than the rip off monkey guy you asked .

oh shiny , sounds like he's being a twat , and wanting to show off a bit.lol @ "seat too low"????"power steering"? WTF???? how does he expect you to drive it if its too heavy for him? for you now! he's ashamed of your car!

Its possible the set up of the engine could be the reason for the high price. For example, fan belt change is a job you can usually do yourself but on the Astra F (1992-2002), you have to take the whole engine out. Don't know a lot about Ford engines to say.

If you do have to replace your car there are many bargains to be had right now as everyone wants to get rid of Mondeo size cars. You could get the same car you have now for around £1.5k.

Hopefully, your DP will be able to work out what your mechanic said.

This is the breakdown of the quote.

headset. = £105.

Headbolts = £39.02

Thermostate = £13.46

Oil Filter = £ 7.20

Oil per litre = £3.50

Scim head = £50.00

Diagnostic check = £35.00

Head Gaskit = £80.75

Parts charge = £380.48

Labour Charge = £360.00

VAT =£11.07

TOTAL 851. 55.

I'm not questioning the bill at all, it seems all in order.

I'm just wondering if the work is really neccesary if I have a reliable enough car sitting outside.

drlove8. I think you are right, I think he is ashamed of my car . Its a bucket of shit on the outside, but it goes, and it's mine and because of lack of powersteering he too can have popeye arms just like me

I agree with Trillianastra
so you don't want him to use savings to get the car repaired and you don't want him to use them to get a new car
do yuo want him just to have your car and you don't have one?
it sounds like really uyou are fed up with your car and want a new one yourself!
you need to work as a team, teh car is for his job, therefore it is for your family no?

Unless he has the V6 the head gasket should not be costing £80. Otherwise the charges look about right.

I don't understand why the diagnostic check is being charged here. Surely the diagnostic is run before the parts are fitted.

Looks to me like the mechanic is thinking that a faulty thermostat (common problem) has caused a head gasket failure.

Does he do much driving for work? Or is it just that occassionally he needs to be able to get out somewhere? If he drives often then having no power steering or the seat not adjusting correctly are valid reasons for not wanting to drive your car, IMO.

Agree with Trillian, if he drives a lot and your car is uncomfortable for him to drive it is a valid reason not to drive it.

DPs car gives me sore shoulders so I only drive it for short journeys or when DP has been to sick to drive back from relatives houses.

BIG CHRIS - I don't want a new one yet, no, but a newer one sometime in the next 3 or so years would be nice, something over £1000.00 would be nice. But I'm quite happy with mine at the moment. I want him to have mine for now.
I'm quite happy to walk to work and use the car when he isn't.

Lottiebunny you seem to know alot about cars . He hasn't done the work yet, they guy, he has just sent this round to us and is leaving us to decide what to do, but this is what it's going to cost if he goes ahead with the work. He said something about not knowing if it's cracked yet as it's made of aluminium, but if that's the case it's a throw away job as a new engine is what's needed.

TrillianAstra - he uses his car when he is at work, he is out of hours council, so when the elderly fall over and press the little pendant things that they wear, he has to go out to them to see if they are OK.

I think in the grand scheme of things you need to sort out your finances a little different, then you will have some clarity on what mney is fir what purpose.

Have three savings account, one for a rainy day, one for spares, repasairs and a new car fun for him and a savings account for you

Sit and decide how much of your joint income is going to go into each savings account.

Then next time his car needs repairs he can dip into his alocated account and when you want a new car you can dip into your alocated account.

You need though to sit down and talk about money and how you are going to divy it up.

So what happens to the money he gets for his car allowence - the council pay him this for driving his own car....

We have a very old car that our children have grown up with -she is nothing special but we love her,all the kids around know what shes called and as she is getting older people see her and say 'ohh i remember i had one of those' etc etc 1 old bloke even asked dh if he could have a go dh obliged.

Now the thing is Rosie as our car is known has cost us far more than she is worth but we have gotten in far to deep to now say no more and this is a situation you need to avoid.

Im thinking that perhaps your dh should buy something under a £1000 something small and economical and when you can replace your car you buy a bigger family car.

Ivykaty I do agree with your saving account idea in theory but in practice it just wouldnt work bcos in our house the car = work and if she breaks down all moneys from all arenas are put in.