Fuming

[lilacclaire]

I use another website forum regularly which is based in the US but used by people all around the world for help and advice on things that I am interested in that are not covered on this site.

One of the girls on their used the word spastic to describe herself at exercising (she is not disabled in anyway)

I posted that it was a very offensive term and basically got slated by the moderators for it, telling me to lighten up.

AIBU to stop using this site, I am so pissed off right now about their attitude to words that are potentially very offensive (I was very offended).

Agree with whoever said that just because it's accepted, doesn't mean it's okay. WRT Spaz, when I told a Canadian friend it was offensive she had no idea it came from the word spastic, or that the word spastic refered to a disabled person.

My fave Canadian word atm is Sod - it means turf, I am going to order some tomorrow

You have to make allowances for cultural differences, but once the meaning of a word is explained, to keep using it is a little ignorant.

I once worked with a girl from New Zealand, she referred to sweets as lollies, and flip flops as thongs. That led to some interesting conversations with the men in the office!

Yeah, my friend emigrated to Aus a few years back and was horrified to hear on the cricket commentary that Pakistan were referred to as the Pakis!!!

Correct me if I'm wrong but it just doesn't have the same offensive meaning over there that it does in the UK. She still shudders every time she hears it tho.

I remember an english ad campaign that gave us fits of giggles as american teenagers visiting the uk in the late 70's. It was: FAGGOTS, GREAT BIG MEATY BALLS. I don't think I'll ever quite get over that one.

I like YanknCock's description of her dh's refusal to be and african american just because his skin is black(ish). My mother grew up in africa (although she is decidedly italian in accent and appearance) and I keep getting tempted to check the african-american box in those stupid racial questionnaires, that is if I don't check the OTHER box and write in polka dotted (I've got a lot of freckles) or jewish- italian-american.

hellish, sod has always been an English word for turf. Think of Good King W. Christmas carol has the word sod in it. It also has always meant sodomy as well. Words are fun.

People not sure about American slang etc should make themselves watch more South Park episodes.

im english dp is us and we laugh a lot atthe differnt words and sayings case of just give and take he did not know spastic was seen in uk as deriogatory word same way I did not know about the short bus.

Though he has learnt not so say, I`m going slap your fanny in public now when im teasing talking to him

Just recalled, the first time English DH met my American mom, she announced that she planned to 'go bumming tomorrow morning'. Meaning 'bumming around' as in running errands.

DH nearly spit his coffee across the table.

longtalljosie I was going to say that about the Spastic Society.
It was still called that about 14 years ago when I was here the first time - so really not that long ago.

I remember being told off for saying "Jeez", as I was told it was a shortened form of "Jesus" - therefore it was "taking the lord's name in vain" (this was from someone at Sunday school when I was very young)...

As others have said, words change and evolve - surely the intention should be taken into consideration?

I'm sure I have said the word "coloured", but I am certainly not racist or mean offense.

Could someone explain please?

BTW, I am Canadian, and I still say Sod, as in grass.

YanknCock, just to enlighten you (in case you think your dh is being more industrious than perhaps he is) bumming around generally means I'm not going to do anything at all, rather than anything active or helpful

purpleduck I guess the thing is that if a word has been used in a really offensive way (like coloured or spastic) of a person or group, then after a while it becomes offensive in it's own right, regardless of the intention of the current speaker, and once you know a word might be upsetting you shouldn't use it, regardless of the meaning you might personally ascribe to it. Of course this does affect your personal liberty a little, but given the huge variety of words in the English language it is generally not hard to say something else.

The fact that handicapped and disabled seem to have very similar meanings to me is neither here nor there. If the disabled community prefer the term disability then I don't feel any great hardship in adopting it. Certainly nothing comparable to the amount of discrimination that as a group they routinely face.

The problem with describing people as coloured is that it fails to recognise that everyone has an ethnicity and is an inadequate one-size-fits all description. It sounds patronising. "Is that your little coloured girl?" someone once said to me.

I think it's more about what is currently socially acceptable.

Colored is no more one-size-fits all than black or african-american which are currently acceptable terms. Or consider the oddness of lumping all "white" or caucasian people into one category...As a jewish italian californian american I have little in common culturally to a muslim egyptian recent immigrant, yet we are put in the same "ethnic" category here in the usa.

When I was growing up, calling someone "Black" was offensive, and "Coloured" was the PC term. Funny how things change!

Sometimes you just need a one-size-fits-all word for meaning people of non-white skin colour (who look different at a glance, and have probably suffered from the specific prejudices that having non-Caucasian skin has meant historically for such people living in societies dominated by "whites").

This is a particularly important distinction in the American context where the difference between Italian/Polish/Irish/German/etc. ancestry was trivial compared to the disadvantage of having non-Caucasian looks. It's also relevant where we live (a very white region of the UK). I might want, for instance, to explain to DC that having a "non-white" skin colour has historically been a problem for people in societies like us -- except that I don't like using the word "non-white".

Saying 'people of other cultures' or some other terms wrongly ignores the importance of skin colour in today's social inequalities. I also like highlighting skin colour as a factor in prejudice because when I explain that skin colour is down to variations of pigment in the skin, it self-evidently is a stupid way to judge people. Bias against people for other reasons (nationality, religion, cultural habits) is much less self-evidently wrong. Quite often there are valid grounds to be annoyed with another nation/religion/cultural habits.

I prefer "coloured" to "non-white" as such a catch-all word, because non-white is a negative -- like something is wrong with being white. But hey ho, non-white is the PC term and "coloured" isn't. Madness!!

Yes, lljkk, but describing me as white, does not accurately describe the prejudices and slaughters that my jewish family underwent only one generation ago. And it doesn't actually identify real needs in any way to lump together in one category the ethiopian blacks (who emigrated a few years ago to the states) in the same category as the west african blacks (whose ancestors were brought here as slaves 200 years ago) and the West Indian blacks (who came in the 70's for domestic jobs).

By the way, current PC term here in the usa for hispanics is "brown."

Marybs - yes! Thats what I remember too.

I saw a documentary thingy on Martin Luther King last night, and he referred to himself as "colored".

i find it offensive and would be totally peed off

"Its a U.S thing, when I was there last year all the parking bays were marked handicapped parking "

what's wrong with the term handicapped?
i always thought that was a pc term, never knew it caused offence.

also i do think you have to allow for cultural differences as to what is acceptable, i mean they can't please everyone.
using the example of race earlier on, i'm sure some would be offended if i referred to a black person in casual passing as a negro, yet the UNCF is a fairly well respected institution and people do not take offence from their use of the word.
or for another example the use of the term "throwing a paddy" by some on this board might be closer, because those who use do not even draw a link between the phrase and a derogatory term towards irish people.
i've always thought it is far more important to look at what the person intended to convey than simply just the words used.

Who uses the term "non-white"? I have never heard that used anywhere, and I agree it is very negative. Black pride movements happened in both the US and the UK, in the UK black continues to be the word that people who originate from sub-Saharan Africa (whatever route their families took to get wherever they live now) use to describe themselves, so I think it is only polite to do the same. It is more interesting as a political term - there was a period when Asian people also described themselves as black, which I guess was more about not being white really.

Ethnicity and racial identification is a really interesting field. Coming from the mainstream (white, British, middle class and privileged) I think it is harder to understand why identification and language is so important, but it certainly matters. One of the nice things about living in a couple of really diverse cities (especially New York, where pretty much no one is truly indigenous) is that you can discuss this sort of thing quite openly. I wouldn't assume that because someone is pale that they didn't have an interesting background, but knowing a fair few people who were the first black people in their school, town, or field there is no doubt that being visually quite different from the norm is more tricky (accent has a similar effect, but only when you open your mouth).